Do I have your attention?No, I mean, DO I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION?!
Because if I hadn't heard it with my own ears, I wouldn't believe it myself. There I was, propped up on the couch in a semi-groggy almost comatose state, barely able to breathe through one nostril, when the parody played over the airwaves.
Much as I like and admire Rush Limbaugh -- say what you will about him, the man is a media mogul -- I refuse to join the ranks of "Rush Babies," people who subscribe to his 24/7 website providing full access to live "Ditto Cam" reports, the fabled "Stack of Stuff" newsletter, political parodies from Paul Shanklin, and latest gimmick grabber, the "O.O.C." sheriff badge proudly affixed to the lapel of African-American "Official Program Observer," James Golden/Bo Snerdly, their "Official Obama Criticizer."
As a result, I have no links to today's parody. Nonetheless, it has etched its wretched mark in my mind, looping over and over in a fuzzy haze like that time when I was five years old and got locked into a backyard shed during a family get together. Yes, it did happen, but the details get muddled over time. I'm so coked up on cold medication, the finer points of today's EIB program are no longer accessible. But this much I know. Rush Limbaugh and his ilk are terrified by the prospect of running John McCain against Barack Obama in November.
There's a parody floating around out there somewhere and when I get my grubby paws on it, you'd better believe I'm linking to it. But for now, trust me. Just trust me.
Limbaugh, Coulter, my own local Bruce Elliott, they're all praying, hoping, desperately desiring a Hillary nomination. And the smart money knows why. Because she isn't electable. Not even against decrepit politics as usual John McCain.
Today on his program -- if I could swear I would swear -- I heard Limbaugh endorse Hillary Clinton for president. Maybe he just wants her to claim the Democratic nomination so Republicans can beat the crap out of her in the fall, I can't be certain. I immediately turned off the radio to concentrate on other matters such as this blog. Hey, I know this article sounds sophmoric, addled, disjointed, but what do you expect from a sick person?
The point is -- and there is a point in all of this so I'm going to make it -- the point is, Republicans are so worried about winning in November, they're now hatching a nefarious plan to keep Hillary's candidacy alive. I wish Republicans would take a good hard look at themselves and decide whether early support of John McCain is to blame. Numbers and statistical impossibilities aside, of all the presidential hopefuls, he seemed the least likely to become their come back man from behind. Giuliani, Huckabee, yeesh, a disaffected Democrat like me might have even given Romney a second glance, but McCain? Why has he emerged as their front runner? His hardball stance against abortion? When is the "moral majority" going to get the loud and clear message that the majority of Americans believe a woman has and should always have a right to choose?
Most of McCain's other policies don't mesh with the right wing, we all know that. What the Republicans seem to be missing, and what Limbaugh very clearly emphasized today is that McCain's policies don't mesh with disaffected Democrats like me either. Unlike Ann Coulter who honestly rubs me the wrong way, the only way I and probably legions of other "third party Democrats" will ever consider casting a vote for McCain is if our party nominates Billary. I whole heartedly agree with Limbaugh, something I don't do very often, when he posits McCain is a lock if the Democrats back the Clintons.
As an aside, this dribble about Florida's liberal Jewish voters is just that. Liberal Jewish voters comprise a tiny almost infinitesimal fraction of the electorate, hardly a force to behold inside the Democratic elite. And this laughable conjecture about African-Americans, give me a break. If the party backs the Clinton, my guess is a good portion of that vote will stay on the job November 4th.
Now I'm no expert on state primaries, but I'm worried about crossover votes and the impact Texas and Ohio voters will have on this election. Is it really fair to pressure super delegates into a Hillary nomination when the Republicans are hatching a strategy to keep her candidacy alive? For their own nefarious reasons?
The majority of Americans are tired of the divide, sick of the bitter infighting, tired of the haves getting fat while the have-nots struggle to stay alive. These labels I hear bandied about, liberal, conservative, Republican, Democrat, drive-bys, neocons, and Limbaugh's divisive tactics, they're not working. They're not bringing us to a better tomorrow. If anything, they're leading us over the cliff like lemmings too stupid to realize they're about to die.
Barack Obama will have plenty of media scrutiny in the months ahead, this much is certain. The media is not about to give him a free pass to the presidency. For now, the American public is mesmerized with the man from Illinois because he speaks a message long since forgotten. Hope, connection, togetherness, vision, prosperity, peace. Obama says he can make it it so. Many are willing to roll the dice and let him try.
Come up with something better, Republicans, and you too shall have a shot at the White House. But John McCain? Puh-leeze! Republicans will have to do better than that.