Sasha from New York in Miami Ink

An anonymous reader emailed me this screen capture from episode 12 in season 4 of Miami Ink.

It starts at 38:30, some person telling her story:

"Hello. I'm Sasha from New York and I've got this really cool tattoo on my back of a crescent moon surrounded a kanji, which is Japanese symbol and it's all me, it's my initial. And crescent moon is there basically to protect me, to make..."

Another sucker of the "Asian font".


My friend Jon Rahoi (who runs a fantastic site about mangled English spotted in Hong Kong and various locations in China) has recently sent me a photo of his personal trainer's tattoo.

Jon says:

Hi Tian - my personal trainer showed me his tat today. He thinks it says "Kyan" which is his son's name. He said his Taiwanese-Okinawan friend wrote it for him. In Cantonese I think it says, "hei nguk mo" (happy house fight or brawl or something) and I'm guessing it would also be at least three syllables in Japanese, too. So I thought he was on crack. BUT when I put them into Google

I get 76,000 pages - mostly of a girl named Chiaki Kyan, who is a cosplay idol. I'm stumped as to where they're getting "Kyan," though. It's a mystery to this poor gwailo...

anyway, thought I'd share.

Man With Bomb Threatens Clinton New Hampshire Headquarters

Hillary knows she's got trouble in the latest polls. That's why she's in Vienna, Virginia today for a Democratic pow-wow rather than her campaign headquarters in Rochester, New Hamphire.

This story is still breaking, so not much to report. Some crazy person with a bomb strapped around his torso burst into Clinton's Rochester campaign headquarters demanding a face to face. Some hostages were released, but according to reports, some innocent campaign workers are still being held inside. Oh wait, now they're saying all the hostages have been released. I certainly hope so.

The rise in these type of incidents for the sake of publicity is despicable. I hope the media doesn't waiver from a description of this looney toon as the "nutjob with salt and pepper hair." Giving this low-life an identity is far too good for him.

Disagree with Clinton's politics, sure, but incidents like this give me the willies.

CNN/YouTube Republican Debate Bathes Candidates in New Light

Spewked photograph of Nov 28 CNN/YouTube debate because Getty images photograph would have set me back $162.00For people who hadn't yet had an opportunity to watch the top Republican presidential candidates spar, Wednesday's CNN/YouTube debate was an eye opener. As Rudy started blasting his very worthy opponent over illegal domestic help, I swear I saw Romney extend his arm with a certain covert hand gesture. All morning long, I've been poring over Joe Raedle's Getty images. Almost bought one to display here, but the cost far exceeded the blog's monthly income. Editorial image #78138383, third from the bottom of the page clearly indicates some bad vibes going on. If the link ceases to function three years from now, this spewked version essentially conveys the same idea.

Maybe Mormons on the campaign trail aren't as pious as they'd have everyone believe. Romney also appeared somewhat arrogant and a tad too pompous for my tastes. On a personal note, the slick goo in his do reminded me of my father's Brylcreem days. Earth to Mitt. A little dab'll do ya. Not a whole handful.

When the debate eventually reached the inevitable, “WWJD” question, I had to groan. Love how the Republicans had no problem discussing their personal religious beliefs, almost like they fully anticipated such a question. Wonder why inquiries like this never get posed to Democrats? Could it be because they have no place in presidential debates?

Separation of church and state is a fundamental pillar of this nation’s foundation, yet Republicans, especially conservative Republicans, love to interject religious beliefs into political forums. Huckabee’s answer, along the lines of "I think Jesus was too smart to become involved in politics," not only rallied the base, but also gave Huckabee the push he needs in the polls. How ironic that by downplaying the political savvy of one of the biggest rabble rousers in human history, Huckabee miraculously launched himself into the enviable number two spot, albeit, with the number one spot still up for grabs.

Republicans should step back and stop the applause. The Reverend Mike sends the wrong message to non-Christian and atheist Democrats. Shades of Ann Coulter, perhaps? Not scary enough to change my mind about Hillary, but certainly not a formidable enough challenger against other Democratic contenders. In fact, if Huckabee dropped the religious rhetoric, he could easily be a top-tier Democratic candidate.

Huckabee talks the talk but doesn't walk the walk. The airwaves, press, and blogosphere are brimming with reports of Huckabee's implicit support of illegal immigration as well as questionable fiscal policy. No wonder this blogger took an immediate shine to Huckabee's record.

Huckabee is emerging as the Hillary of Republicans. From what I understand, he has captivated the hearts and loyalty of many Iowan Republicans. But just like the Hillary Democrats, these voters cannot articulate why.

David Beckham Exchanging Hongis and Who Knows What Else

Spewked photograph of Becks and New Zealand Maori womanDavid Beckham exchanged hongis with local politicians, women in traditional paint, Maori dancers and bare-chested warriors after touching down in Wellington, New Zealand for a soccer exposition. Cultural exchange is a good thing, but these photographs suggest exchanges of something more than just goodwill.Quoted courtesy of Daily Mail
See them do it? An entire soccer team? Sounds kinky.

Quoted courtesy of Daily Mail
You’re right, Becks, traveling to the other side of the world in a private jet and playing nosey-nosey with the locals doesn’t happen every day. Wonder what other kinds of welcome you’ve received.

Spewked photograph of David Beckham with bare-chested New Zealand warriorNervous wife, Posh, may want to reconsider banning Becks from the kick-off of her Spice Girls world tour. Seeing him up close and personal with so many strangers should be far more panic inducing than occasional glimpses in the audience. Better yet, stick him and the boys backstage with a TV monitor.

If he still wants to see what the All Blacks would do, maybe he should paint a little on himself.

Saturday, December 1st, is World AIDS Day and the music industry is doing it's part to fight AIDS:

BID 2 BEAT AIDS 2007 kicks off December 1!

BID 2 BEAT AIDS is a huge entertainment memorabilia auction, with proceeds going to LIFEbeat, the music industry's AIDS fundraising and service charity. This year's auction will begin on eBay at noon EST on December 1, 2007 (World AIDS Day).

Check out this site for more information on the auction.

According to their list, some of the celebrities who have signed items include, but are NOT limited to:

50 Cent; Adam Sandler; Aerosmith; AFI; Alan Colmes; American Hi-Fi; Anberlin; Anthony Hamilton; Ashley Brown; Bananarama; Belinda Carlisle; Beth Ditto; Billie Jo Armstrong; Mike Dirnt of Green Day; Black Eyed Peas; Blige, Mary J Blige; Blink 182; Borat; Bow Wow; Britney Spears; Bubba Sparxxx; Cameron Diaz; Mary Poppins, The Musical cast; Cast of Wicked; Chad Michael Murray; Chingo Bling; Chingy; Chris Botti; Chris Evans; Christopher Gorham; Ciara; Coheed and Cambria; Common; Craig David ; Darlene Love ; Hairspray cast; David Gray; David Hyde Pierce; De La Soul; Death Cab for Cutie; Default; Denzel Washington; Dick Cavett; Diddy; Dr. Dre; Duncan Sheik ; Eddie Griffin; Eminem; Erasure; Erasure; Eric Himan; Fabolous; Fall Out Boy; Family Affair cast; Fantasia; Fiction Plane; Finch; Floetry; Florence Henderson; Phyllis Newman; Fort Minor; Fred Durst; Funk Master Flex; Gerald Butler; Good Charlotte; Gran Bel Fisher; Green Day; Grey Gardens Cast; Hanna Teter; Hawthorne Heights; Hilarie Burton; Hillary Duff; Hoobastank; Hopesfall; Il Divo; Ima Robot; Injected; Jack Nicholson; Jack White; Jackie Collins; James Blunt; Jason Alexander; Jay-Z ; Jennifer Hudson; Jennifer Lopez; Jeremey Piven; Jerry Mathers Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver from TV show "Leave it to Beaver"; Jesse Harris; Jesse McCartney; Jessica Alba; Jessica Biel; Jimmy Eat World; Jin; John Travolta; Jon Heder; Jon Voight; Juvenile, Fat Joe, TI, Mike Jones, Pall Wall; Kenna; Kevin Federline; Kirsten Dunst; Korn; Lil Jon & the East Side Boyz; Lisa Stansfield; LL Cool J; Loretta Switt; Lost Prophets; Madonna; Malverde; Mariah Carey; Mariel Hemingway; Matchbook Romance; Matisyahu; Matt Damon and Heath Ledger; Maxeen; Mel Clark; Melee; Mika; Missy Elliott; Motion City Soundtrack, Stray Light Run, Hellogoodbye; Muse; My Chemical Romance; Nappy Roots; Nelly; Ne-Yo; Nickelback; Norah Jones; Olivia D’Abo; Ono; Orfeh; Orgy; Owen Wilson; P.O.D; Patrick Swayze; Paula Deen; Pitbull; Pitbull; Plain White T's; Puddle of Mudd; Rachael Leigh Cook; Randy Jones; Raven Symone; Razorlight; Reliant K; Rihanna; Robin Williams; Sacha Baron Cohen; Saliva; Salt n Pepa; Sarah Silverman; Sean Paul; Shanna Barker; Sifu Shi; Simple Plan; Solange Knowles-Smith,; Sophia Bush; Staind; Stephen Jenkins; Sugar Ray; Sugarcult; Sum 41; Taking Back Sunday, 30 Seconds to Mars; Talib Kweli; Taylor Hicks; Tenacious D; The Barkers; The Cure; The Early November; The Exies; The Five Browns; The Gossip; The Osbournes; The Used; Tim Gunn; Tina Louise; Todd English; Tracey Ullman; Travis Barker; Tweet, Jurassic 5; Tyrese (aka Black-Ty); Usher; Vanessa Hudgens; Victoria Beckham; VMA; Will Ferrell; Wyclef Jean; Yan Ming; Yellowcard... and many more!!!

A Must Read for All Supporters of Hillary Clinton

I originally wrote the following article exclusively for BlogCritics, but I must say, I have been blown away by the comments. Guess I'm used to civility in a courtroom. People can be so brutal when they don't speak face to face. I'm not one to shy away from controversy, in fact, I rather enjoy it.

But comments like "idiot," "shameful," "ridiculous," "not an iota of brains," and worse have no place in the blogosphere. Let's all just agree to disagree, make our points, and move on, shall we? No need to become personally offensive.

Feel free to post your comments here as well. If possible, keep the venom to a minimum.

Color me woman overboard from the Hillary Express. A lifelong Democrat, I cannot imagine a worse fate for my political party, or for that matter the United States of America, than bringing this ship to port.

Democratic candidates who can win next November do, in fact, exist. Yet, the national news media doesn’t publicize the credentials of candidates like Joe Biden or Chris Dodd. Rather, the media consistently downplays these candidates' political prowess, accomplishments, and admirable experience.

Like some vast left wing conspiracy, media conglomerates and their minions continue to herald Clinton as the clear Democratic frontrunner. Their blatantly obvious bias is not so much indefensible as it is incomprehensible. Hillary is nothing more than one of seven credible challengers perched behind an uncut ribbon at a pre-dawn marathon. Still, the media proclaims she will handily win the nomination as well as the presidency.

It’s time the American people sent a message to the national news media and vote their own minds in the upcoming primaries. Democracy cannot function effectively unless each American formulates and voices an opinion about the candidate who best reflects their individual needs and interests.

I, for one, will not hand Mrs. Clinton my party's nomination on a silver platter. I thumb my nose at media elite, and throw my support behind any other Democratic contender, going so far as to pledge my vote in the general election to the Republican – any Republican – if my party nominates this pathetic excuse for a candidate. Here’s why:

1. Clinton does not have the credentials to lead America. She has no track record of successful management of any large organization. She has never led the charge for successful passage of any consequential legislation. Even liberal Democrats give Hillary a pitiful 60% approval rating for piggyback voting, i.e. a failing grade on legislation Clinton supported but did not initiate.

2. She is ethically unsuitable for the office of president. Clinton will do or say anything to get elected. Her recorded support on opposite sides of the same issue recently came home to roost. This isn’t the first time opponents have caught Hillary in the act of doublespeak. Not long ago, Clinton equivocated her stance on the Iraqi war, stating, “I do not think it is smart strategy to set a date certain.” More recently, she introduced legislation setting a date certain to bring the troops home.

3. Clinton casually employs intimidation, marginalization, and fear of elimination to silence detractors. As first lady, Clinton viciously vilified numerous women levying sexual harassment charges against hubby Bubba. Her disingenuous finger pointing exemplifies the depths she is willing to sink to deflect blame. Had Monicagate not blossomed into a full-blown national scandal, Hillary very well may have destroyed the lives of numerous womanized victims.

4. Clinton leads the pack in campaign fundraising only because her campaign consistently violates FEC regulations. Fundraising for her 2000 senate campaign, as documented by former supporter, Peter F. Paul, is a brewing scandal unreported by national news organizations. Most likely, this is because three branches of government linked to Bubba’s administration systematically banded together to discredit Mr. Paul. His personal lawsuit against the Clintons remains pending in civil court despite numerous set backs. Google mysteriously banned the trailer video documenting Clinton’s campaign fundraising violations, a brewing scandal in its own right. The former embed code no longer functions, although edited videos continue to play online ... for now.

5. Clinton’s presidential campaign is tainted by a distinctive “kook factor.” Can she appeal to enough Americans? The short answer is no. Just recently, an Iowa waitress involved in a minor tipping flap made a curious about face following serious criticism directed against Clinton. Circumstantial evidence shows a heavy-handed response to this imagined controversy, thereby raising the specter of deeply entrenched paranoia in the Clinton campaign. A Hillary presidency could make the Nixon years seem like the ministry of Mother Theresa. For anyone who survived this chapter of American history, the prospect is terrifying.

6. Twenty years of Clintons and Bushes have not exactly positioned America for prosperity. If anything, the nation has regressed. Take, for example, the shrinking value of the American dollar against the Israeli shekel. Reduced American buying power in a second world nation formerly besieged by rampant inflation is simultaneously sobering and humiliating. Now is the time to send a fresh face to Pennsylvania Avenue, not more of the same expecting a different result.

7. Sure, I’d like to see a woman president in my lifetime. Unfortunately, this particular woman is as spineless as a jellyfish, a repulsive characteristic in any politician, let alone one vying to become leader of the free world. Hillary knows she’s just another face in Congress without Bubba. Despite impeachment and national scandal, that’s precisely the reason she stayed married to him. What's the difference between Billary’s relationship and that of Prince Charles and Princess Diana? At least Diana had the courage to recognize the whorish nature of their marriage and get out.

8. Clinton’s socialist tendencies will wreak havoc on this staunchly capitalistic society, eventually bringing the United States to its knees. Top earners, movers and shakers, and successful entrepeuners can migrate to greener pastures if forced to support the do-nothings and do-littles of America. That’s exactly what other countries are banking upon and likely why so many foreigners are the most vehement Clinton supporters.

Update: After original publication of this article, I discovered the words "about face" in paragraph #5 linked only to a blank page. I hope this was due to some temporary glitch rather than a response to threats of retailiation.

Second Update: One commentator queried whether I dislike Hillary because she is a woman. The simple answer: no. I have no problem electing a woman president. In fact, I hope to live to the day when the U.S. elects a woman or some other minority as president.

I dislike Hillary because she is the wrong person for the job for the reasons stated in my article. When a woman takes a clear stand on the issues and doesn't flip-flop, proposes a solid domestic policy that will jump start the economy, and demonstrates honesty and integrity in their politics - that is the woman I will vote for. Hillary is not that woman. In fact, if you took Hillary and put her in a man's body, hardly anyone would want her to be their president.

People are fooling themselves if they think electing Hillary will put Bill back into a position of power. Hillary is chomping at the bit to make Bill her underling. If she becomes President of the United States, she'll make certain Bill knows exactly who's in charge. Believe me, it won't be him.

Nobody Cares on November 26, 2007

Dishes piled sky high in the sink, headed back to the dentist chair today, the guinea pig is on hospice watch, dirty clothing litters the laundry room floor, another funeral at 1:00 p.m., this month's whopping credit card bill came due, but ... nobody cares. Likewise this drivel culled from cyberspace:

1. Those fabulous pearly whites. An outdoor café setting. Someone deciding to satisfy a craving for nourishment. Why, it’s ... [more]

2. Showing once again that any cumtwat can satisfy a desperate need for attention by sending blind e-mail items to big name bloggers willing to package demented neuroses as news ... [more]

3. Fake sibs who play together stay together while toting over sized designer handbags up, down, and all around town ... [more]

4. This must be what Victoria Beckham meant when she explained how too many copycats inspired her sudden switch to brown hair ... [more]

5. Be careful what you wish for. An early primary election may interfere with your local holiday consumer frenzy and/or television viewing pleasure ... [more]

6. Put a sock in it, John. If Washington, D.C. is the devil’s playground, why are you trying so hard to snag a prime spot in the sandbox? [more]

7. Terrorists killing more terrorists. So far away and yet so relevant. Eh, who am I kidding? Nobody cares. [more]

Enchanted Movie Premieres Bring Out Shoes

Recent movie premieres brought out the stars and their red carpet outfits. Can you guess whose shoes?

Photo credits to Wire Images and Yahoo!
Photo Credits to Wire Images and Yahoo!
Photo Credits to Wire Images and Yahoo!

If you liked this feature, please leave a comment

Molly Shannon is Tidy Bowlicious

Molly Shannon seems to be everywhere lately. Here, the Year of the Dog star dedicates a new squeezably soft public restroom in Times Square, New York, NY. Steven Soifer and the ARA would be so proud.

Sorry, but with this week's spotlight on bathroom humor, I couldn't resist.

Wonder how long it will take until the place is totally trashed.

Escaped Mayor of Munchkinland Resembles Andy Hardy

Photo by Ferdaus Shamim - courtesy of Wire ImagesSomeone better tell Mickey Rooney that red makes him look like a Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon. No? Well then how about the mayor of Munchkinland? He's certainly the right height. Hoarding old Judy Garland cast-offs again, are we Hardy boy?

Is this guy still ticking? Geez, I thought he kicked the bucket years ago. Must be the oldest living legend in Hollywood.

The costumes were all in good fun. Notables Tina O'Brien, Paul Michael Glaser, and Nigel Havers, along with a scad of lesser knowns joined Mickey and Jane yesterday for the First Family Entertainment Pantomime Season Launch party. Too bad this gala happened across the pond. Looks like jolly good fun.

Here's wishing Mickey another 120 years!

Tom Cruise Detox Center Helping 9/11 Workers

Here is a great story about the New York Rescue Workers Detoxification Project:

Clinic's results make 9/11 responders believe

I think the results speak for themselves.
GLORIA ESTEFAN -- Helping Others -- Fighting Paralysis

I almost forgot that singer sensation Gloria Estefan was in a serious car crash years ago that left her with a broken back. She hasn't forgotten though and has gone out of her way to help others -- "Estefan serves on the board of directors of The Buoniconti Fund to Cure Paralysis, the national fundraising arm of The Miami Project, and as chairperson for a capital campaign that raised $40 million to build the Lois Pope LIFE Center at the University of Miami -- Estefan's alma mater. The center, which opened in 2000, is home to The Miami Project."

She's been named a CNN Hero.


Luckily for Mr. Whipple, There’s No Toilet Paper in Heaven

Dick Wilson, seen here playing Mr. Whipple in a Charmin TV commercial, passed away yesterday at the age of 91Was there ever a television commercial that crawled under your skin and consistently evoked an urge to immediately change channels?

In the golden age before remotes, Charmin toilet paper commercials were my nemesis. I literally jumped for the knob at the sight of pearl and cardigan clad Caucasian hausfraus going gaga over toilet tissue. Portraits of giddy delight erupting in facial displays of ecstasy, manicured fingers repeatedly digging and releasing plastic swathed toilet rolls, noses buried in bundles of bathroom bales, these women seemed more akin to refugees from the funny farm than anyone I’d ever encountered at my neighborhood grocery store.

For reasons I never understood, the Charmin display cast an irresistible spell over these dipwads, like sex toys in the middle of an underground paraphernalia shop. At the time, I was far too young to understand any obsession over toilet paper, nor did anyone offer anything remotely resembling an explanation. I eventually developed a strong dislike for the clerk who policed these inane suburbanites. His name: Mr. Whipple.

A mustachioed middle-aged man, glasses precariously perched over a bulbous nose, Mr. Whipple was the definitive wimp, someone who couldn’t stop a dog from taking a piss on his own lawn. “Please don’t squeeze the Charmin” was his signature imploration. This pathetic excuse for a bodyguard always ended the spot by grabbing his own pack to furtively squeeze alone. The camera then rooted him out, sending a subliminal message that even its champion watchdog couldn’t resist finger porking Charmin's soft white folds. In time they added a voice over, just in case viewers didn’t understand the pitch.

Oh, I understood fine, I just couldn’t help feeling sick inside. Why would anyone be possessed by a toilet paper fetish, let alone indulge it in the middle of a grocery aisle? Clearly, my mother wasn’t telling me something. Switching channels became an automatic response.

Thankfully, the mystery of toilet tissue affixation ended around the time I hit puberty. By then, those infuriating Charmin commercials had all but disappeared.

Yesterday, the man who made squeezing the Charmin a guilty little pleasure succumbed to natural causes at the Motion Picture & Television Fund Hospital in Woodland Hills, California. Dick Wilson lived to the ripe old age of 91. He was a universally recognized pitchman who didn’t mind forging a career from a product people like me preferred not to contemplate.

Procter and Gamble put Mr. Whipple down in 1999. Although relieved to witness his demise, I’m saddened to hear about Dick Wilson. There should be a lavish tribute on the P & G web site. Dick Wilson shilled for those people more than 500 times.

Another fixture of my childhood is gone. Each passing symbol from my youth reminds me of a bygone era I'm not quite ready to let go. Call it nostalgic affixation. Too bad I can’t dig in my fingers and sniff for relief.

Dog Driving Video Good for a Chuckle

What some people won't do to get over a million views on YouTube! I got bored with this wild ride after forty-five seconds, but it was good for a few chuckles in between.

Politicelebritopia Roundup for November 19, 2007

The line separating politicians and celebrities so often becomes blurred. Mongrel spawn litter the planet as they cross each others' realms. Roundup from this past week includes:

1. Former Vice President and Nobel Peace Prize laureate Al Gore accepts the Founders Award from the International Emmys in New York City tonight. His trophy case must be getting mighty crowded...[more]

2. After six months of random testing and community service, prosecutors dropped misdemeanor marijuana charges against Anna Nicole celebrity judge, Lawrence Korda...[more]

3. U2 activist Bono gives a tell all interview in Rolling Stone magazine. Wasn't Bono one of the original movers and shakers of the politicelebritopia movement...[more]

4. Former Soviet Union leader Mikhail Gorbachev now shills for Louis Vuitton. Guess the economy's not so great in Russia either...[more]

5. Analysts are back to ranking candidate follicles to determine lead indicators in election 2008...[more]

6. Speaking of the 2008 election, Jackson Browne offered his expertise in woman bullying to the John Edwards campaign...[more]

7. Meanwhile, Edwards is too busy picketing NBC than to care about lackluster support on his own campaign trail...[more]

8. Last, but not least, Paris Hilton practiced bump and grind defense and public speaking in preparation for her delayed mission to Rwanda...[more]

That concludes this week's issue of Bastard Child. Tune in again for more mongrel spawn from around the globe.

Swift Kids For Truth Say No To Hillary Clinton

I believe that children are our future. Let the children laugh and lead the way. Let the children's laughter remind us how it used to be.

Paula Abdul Hides Plastic Surgery While Simon Says All

Looking for comment from American Idol Judge Paula Abdul about the plastic surgery related death of Kanye West's mother, a TMZ cameraman dug a little too deep. Not that Paula was miffed as described, but clearly she had no interest in discussing her experiences under the knife.

Before she was famous and after photos of Paula Abdul prove she is no stranger to plastic surgeryAnyone can see from before and after photos that Paula is no stranger to plastic enhancement. So she had a big shnoz, tarantula thick eyebrows, flat cheek bones, and an A cup. It's the person inside who counts. On the other hand ... enough said. Has anyone seen this woman's reality TV show?

These days it's getting harder and harder to find anyone in the entertainment industry who hasn't had a little nip or tuck. Even her cohort, Simon Cowell, admits to regular botox injections. I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if he succumbed to liposuction as well. All those comments on last season's show about his moobs had to hit below the sag.

Simon revealed some sensitivity over the moobs while emphatically denying reports about being gay. Don't quote me, but he might have crossed his arms against his chest in response. The body language -- a dead giveaway.

Danny Bonaduce

Danny Bonaduce (born Dante Daniel Bonaduce) is a former child star best known for his role in the early 1970s as Danny Partridge on The Partridge Family and his many run-ins with the law.I. Early Life Bonaduce was born on August 13, 1959, in Broomall, Pennsylvania into a family connected to the entertainment business. His father, Joseph Bonaduce, was a TV writer/producer for various TV shows such

Pro Hillary Crowd Turns CNN Las Vegas Debate Into Society Page Social

Democratic presidential candidates take questions at the South Carolina debatesAw, ain't that nice. The bride and her groomsmen all lined up and so purty. Whars 'er corsage, ah mean, boo-kay? They couldn't find sump'n to match orange? Aw, ain't it a shame.

Okay. So this isn't a picture from last night's debate in the Silver State, but it might as well be. CNN stuck old Hill at a podium in the middle, flanked by male rivals on each side. When the debate became heated, the audience booed or the moderator admonished her opponents, "One at a time." It reminded me of a coronation. They didn't even allow that Gravel guy to participate.

Sorry, former Senator Mike. This is an exclusive affair. You're not on the guest list. Buh-bye.

But the worst moment came when someone in the audience asked dumpy Hill whether she prefers diamonds or pearls. I can't remember the last time someone asked a presidential candidate their preference for jewelry. Hmmmm. Let's see, now. When was that....could it have been....NEVER?!

Call me old fashioned, but I'm more interested in hearing the details of Clinton's energy plan, not what type of bribes she'll expect from foreign governments.

Exactly how does she intend to fund all those grandiose notions of removing oil from the nation's supply and demand chain? Does she honestly think it will be as simple as giving car manufacturers subsidies to go green? What about public transportation? Is she going to pay off public transportation companies too? Where is all this money coming from? Higher taxes? I'm already being taxed to near extinction in the Free State (soon to be forever known as the "Flee State"). There are so many holes in Clinton's purported energy plan there isn't enough room to tear it apart here.

With such serious matters afoot, will someone please tell me why some bimbo plant got the nod to lob a soft one about jewelry preferences?

Better yet, why is Billary answering such a lamebrain inquiry? I expect serious presidential candidates to answer questions like that with a non-answer. For example, "Not to evade your question, but this is a serious debate concerning the office of President of the United States," or "Not to evade your question, but in all fairness, I don't think that's something the President of the United States will have to decide."

Not a chance. Oh, and for the record, "She Who Should Not Be Named" prefers both. Duh.

Universal Thanksgiving Question

"'Scuse me, but I have to know. Do these giblets make me look fat?"

Writers Strike Ignores Devastating Consequences of Continued Impasse

photo courtesy of
Film and television writers and studio bigwigs continue their game of chicken on the picket lines. Variety and late night talk shows, Saturday Night Live, the Daily Show, and the Tonight Show have already ceased production. The popular TV show, 24 recently declared an indefinite hiatus. Soon, crown jewels such as Two and a Half Men and Desperate Housewives will grind to an excruciating halt.

It comes as no surprise that money lies at the heart of this dispute. Writers want more for distribution of their material through the Internet and mobile broadcasting. Producers would rather wait and see how much revenue is generated. Sadly, both sides are missing the big picture.

The viewing public is fickle. One day, a celebrity is a rising star. The following year, washed up. Fans change allegiances like clothing and hairstyles. Everything today is disposable.

The movie and television industry would be wise to heed the fickle nature of its lifeblood. Each passing day of impasse draws the industry closer to demise. By way of explanation, take a look at the following hypothetical breakdown of television and movie viewers:

a. The Mindless
People who rely upon television to unwind and/or escape. They will generally continue watching no matter what type of shows are available. Although easily influenced, not a good group for advertisers because they have little disposable income. More likely to rent or have cable than to watch movies in theatres.

b. The Distracted
Channel flippers who land on programs of interest, they are just as likely to tune in as tune out. Television is used as background noise for multi-tasking or a brief respite between tasks. A good group for advertisers, but difficult to capture. Prefer to see movies in theatres, but frequency of attendance varies.

c. The Obsessed
Fans of the highest order who schedule activities around certain television programs, TiVo, on demand, etc. Can be influenced by product endorsement, but wide disparity in disposable income. Spend heavily on DVD rentals and purchases, as well as first run movies in theatres.

d. The Engaged
Destination television and movie watchers. Tend to be intellectual movers and shakers or those with active busy lives focusing on activities other than movies and television. Viewing is pre-planned for shows of interest. Extremely busy schedules and high level of disposable income make this set an advertising dream.

Of course, other categories and subsets may exist. Additionally, the foregoing categories are based upon unproven generalizations. Still, I believe the breakdown is illustrative.

The Engaged and Distracted will tune out quickly, if they haven’t already. The longer the strike continues, the less likely these viewers will return to old habits when it ends. Such was the case to some extent when the industry went on strike back in 1988. At that time, however, free entertainment on the Internet was not widely available. Millions of viewers now flock to independent video productions and cyber networks. Serious advertising dollars are beginning to follow. Revenue generated from the Engaged and Distracted will begin to flow elsewhere.

The movie and television industry is crazy to risk losing all this advertising revenue. That’s why continued impasse is a descent into madness.

The Mindless, of course, will remain loyal viewing subjects, but with little disposable income, their future behavior is inconsequential. That leaves the television and movie industry with two real choices: (1) find a mutually agreeable way to quickly end the strike; or (2) bank on the Obsessed to stay viable.

Is there another alternative that will help this industry emerge unscathed? If so, speak out. Your opinion could help an industry hell bent on killing itself in the name of greed.

Washed-Up Celebrities Guestbook

There have been some recent requests for me to add a guestbook to this blog. I'm not sure how to add a guestbook to a blogger blog, so I am going to use this post as my "guestbook." If you have any comments or just want to say hello, you can leave a comment to this post for all to see.

Sacha G. has emailed me about a website called I tried to understand what the site is about by reading its About US section, then quickly got bored by all the vague catchy phrases.

However, both Sacha and I were curious about the significance of all the characters plastered on the site. For example, 加西生學由天誼 does not even form a sentence, but random characters placed together.

Luckily, after I emailed them, Bryce Green replied and confirming that "the characters are just random. They were selected by our designer because they looked compositionally cool."
Read a great story about Julianne Moore's work with finding a cure for Tuberous Sclerosis Complex, a genetic disorder that causes tumors to form in many different organs, primarily in the brain, eyes, heart, kidney, skin and lungs. She's a CNN hero and the Tuberous Sclerosis Alliance honored her commitment and dedication by creating the Julianne Moore Research Fund.

You can read more about her here.

Until next time, what have YOU done today?

BlogWorld: An Equal Opportunity Random Celebrity Encounter Provider

Las Vegas continues to amaze and delight this small town girl. It's probably one of the few places on the planet where odds of randomly encountering a celebrity increase exponentially relative to the amount of time spent in public gatherings. The caliber and quality of random celebrity encounter, however, is a completely separate matter.

For example, anyone signed up for the Executive and Entrepeneur session of BlogWorld had the option of attending a private screening of The Kite Runner on Wednesday night. Not many did. Don't get me wrong, the event was well attended. It just wasn't a theatre filler. Too bad for the ones who missed out. Celebrity film critic, radio talk show host, political blogger, and all around media entrepeneur Michael Medved acted as master of ceremonies. The organizers didn't publicize Mr. Medved's participation, nor did they dangle the possibility of meeting the film's lead actor, Khalid Abdallah. To say I had my socks knocked off not only by the movie, but also the opportunity to press flesh with these celebs is an understatement. Afterward, Mr. Abdallah and I spoke briefly outside. Very impressive actor who really knows his craft. He's waiting for the next good project to come along. This is a guy who can afford to be choosy.

Last night, BlogWorld hosted a happening party at the Hard Rock Hotel. My chance meeting with celebrity satirist, comedian, Letterman guest, political commentator, and all around funny guy Evan Sayet was definitely a highlight. I'm not too proud to admit, Evan did not immediately register on my celebrity radar. Something about the way he looked me in the eye and said, "Don't you know me?" made me think if I didn't know him, then I certainly should.

We chatted for a while over at the slot machines. When I told Evan I liked to make fun of celebrities, he was a little reluctant to spill about himself. Luckily, I managed to steer the conversation over to politics and family. That's where he began to open up and show his more meaningful side. I don't have enough time this morning to reveal every nook and cranny. Suffice it to say, Evan is a charmer who understands the error of his youth. To sum it up in one sentence, self-indulged Americans of his era refused to acknowledge the tried and true maxim of actions have consequences. I'd say that maxim continues to hold true today, wouldn't you?

Then, there's the mysterious red bus "from Mexico" with continuously running video parked outside the Hard Rock at about 12:30 a.m. I use the quotations because who knows the true origination of this vehicle. A slew of black suited men piled out as I left the casino, leaving the impression of an impending celebrity appearance. I asked one of them who remained inside, but couldn't get a straight answer.

"Just someone from Mehico," was all he would venture in a charming Spanish accent.

"Who?" I anxiously replied. The guy stayed mum and walked away.

Must be someone really big, I imagined. With nothing better to do and no one prodding me along, I decided to stand there and wait -- all night if that's what it took -- to glimpse the big name celeb inside. Needless to say, after 15- 20 minutes, no big name celebrity debarked. In fact, the bus eventually packed up and pulled away. Either the person inside is of such high caliber celebrity they can afford to be completely full of themselves, or I'd just randomly encountered some Mexican show girl too shy to show off her ill-fitting cheap red dress and spiked heels. Either way, the experience left me feeling slightly unfulfilled, like I had just been robbed of some exciting story to tell my eventual grandchildren.
Or not.

Hey, I hear O.J. is in town for the second day of hearings on his armed robbery charges. Hmmmmm. Courthouse or BlogWorld? BlogWorld or the courthouse? Where should I go? For someone as fascinated with all things celebrity, is there really any question?

O.J.'s a hack. Everyone who's anyone is going to BlogWorld. See you people over at the Convention Center.

Attending the BlogWorld Convention in Las Vegas, Nevada

What day is it today? Tuesday? Friday? I have no idea. That's because I'm in VEGAS, baby. Can anyone say highroller?

No, really, I'm here at the BlogWorld convention in Las Vegas -- my third day in the "City That Never Sleeps." At first it was very surreal, like landing in The Valley of the Giants or something. I had never been to Vegas before. I have to say, the place definitely lives up to its reputation. As an example, Tuesday night, I decided to explore the fabled strip. You know, the area with all the fancy hotel casinos, shopping, and other attractions. Disneyland for adults, complete with loudspeakers

My first encounter with said strip was a trip. The sheer magnitude of people criss-crossing the terrain stopped me dead in my tracks. There directly across the street stood Caesars Palace, a grand edifice and stunning shrine to all things Roman. As I stood there admiring the view, I realized others were hanging out on this particular corner as well. So I did what any self-respecting solo woman who didn't want to stand out as a gaping tourist screwball would do. I blended in. Seamlessly so, I thought.

So, apparently, did a lot of others. No one gave me a second glance. I had the vantage point of being able to mentally record all manner of human behavior virtually undetected. Much of it was quite normal and benign. People taking in the sites and moving along to their next destination. Ocassionally, some drunk person would weave by, and a chick in a strapless wedding gown with bridal party in tow sauntered down, but other than that, nothing so much out of the ordinary.

This post has become unintentionally long and I'm going to have to cut it short. I could continue in more detail, but the convention's keynote speaker is supposed to take the stage at 8:45 a.m. and it's already 8:05 a.m. Vegas time.

To make a long story short, as I stood there blending in with the waiting crowd (they were waiting for tables inside the restaurant), along came a very inebriated man from Kentucky, his wife on his arm. They greeted the people standing next to me, laughing and joking, relating stories of their adventures. Then, the guy starts doing this solo dance in the middle of the sidewalk. I just lost it. The dude had no idea how ridiculous he looked.

I couldn't resist. "You crack me up," I said out loud, a big smile spread across my face.

"Well come on, darl'n, join me," he beckoned, but of course I declined, glancing over at his wife. She was doing her utter best to play the part of a good sport.

Ahhhh, I'll just wrap this one up. Sorry, really, about the quality of this post, but I figured I had to post something soon or people might get the impression I dropped off the face of the earth.

As you can probably imagine, the drunk dude from Kentucky didn't want to take no for an answer. He started cozying up to me, right there is front of his friends and poor wife. Clearly, the woman was not amused.

Yeah, I could have been a real bee-yotch and taken advantage of an opportunity to get crazy. Afterall, this is Vegas where practically anything goes. But being a loyal and loving wife (I love you, honey, if you're reading or ever read this), I continued to demur. Luckily so because I think if I had taken the guy up on his proposal, the wife would have popped me. All the while I kept staring into her face, hoping he would get the message and do the same. When he finally let go of me, I breathed a smile sigh of relief.

Visions of cat fights danced away in my head.

Oh, what we women put up with to stay married. Vegas or no Vegas, that lady from Kentucky has my sincere sympathies.

How I spent my summer

I'm thrilled to announce that in 2008 my book on what musicians are doing to change the world will be released by Omnibus Press. I spent the summer interviewing musicians on the projects that are near and dear to their heart. I had the opportunity to interview Martin Sexton, Elliott Yamin, Gavin DeGraw, Chuck Leavell (musician for the Rolling Stones) and more. Some artists shared personal stories about the tragedies and triumphs in their life and how they are trying to make a difference. Other artists, such as Chuck Leavell, contributed essays about important topics to them. For example, would you know that Chuck is a save-the-trees forest expert? He's written books on the subject and has done a tremendous amount to help our forests. Sometimes when we watch our favorite bands, we think that this is all they do. It's interesting to find out that they have other passions as well. I'll keep you posted on the happenings!

Oh and a little momma bragging if you don't mind. My daughter has started a teen literary blog site, so if you have time, check it out. It's great that in this day and age, there are teens like her who still love to read. Feel free to pass on the blog to those you know.

And in other news: Absolut recently held an event in honor of ABSOLUT New Orleans, a limited-edition bottle that was on shelves for three months. 100% of the profit from sales went to help five different charities around the gulf coast. At the event, celebrities Will Ferrell, Eva Longoria, Brooke Shields, Whoopi Goldberg, Matthew McConaughey and Michael Imperioli signed bottles that were then silent-auctioned off at the event. There was also a Fats Domino poster and a guitar signed by Little Steven Van Zandt.

The production of Absolut New Orleans will be accompanied by a minimum charitable donation of $2 million to organizations benefiting New Orleans and cities along the Gulf Coast. The Absolut Spirits Company, Inc. will donate 100 percent of its ABSOLUT NEW ORLEANS profits to charities along the Gulf Coast, including organizations in Louisiana, Alabama and Mississippi. ABSOLUT NEW ORLEANS will celebrate the spirit of the city by forging partnerships with non-profit organizations that are dedicated to rebuilding the Gulf region. New Orleans Area Habitat for Humanity, Hands On Gulf Coast, Volunteer Mobile, Tipitina’s Foundation and the Louisiana Restaurant Association Education Foundation will each receive a monetary donation to support programs that will help rebuild their respective cities and revive the vibrant culture of the Gulf.

Sad Saga of O.J. Simpson and Other True Confessions

O.J. Simpson is back in the news, this time for something really bizarre, if that’s even possible. About three weeks prior to the alleged armed robbery that landed him in jail, the FBI blew off warnings about the self-organized sting operation from "O.G.loved One" and his co-conspirator, Thomas Riccio, refusing to take part in another “weird celebrity case.” According to the Jordan Falls News,

|FBI spokeswoman Laura Eimiller said Riccio did not indicate a crime
|would be committed.

So, let me get this straight. The FBI plopped a gob of goo on the laps of Nevada authorities because the idiots who orchestrated this reality TV heist neglected to inform the feds about possible use of force? How exactly did the FBI envision an O.J. confrontation with an alleged memorabilia-stealing wheeler-dealer?

“Hello there. I’m O.J. Simpson. Would you like me to autograph this stuff? Gee, thanks. Now that I’ve got everything I need, I’ll be seeing you around…”?

It’s bad enough the feds sat on intelligence normally channeled to local authorities, but what goads me is their insipid excuse for doing so. That got me thinking about the O.J. saga in general and how this development from another planet is one more miserable notch in the “couldn’t make this stuff up” belt.

Of course, when it comes to making stuff up, O.J. takes top honors. Who else would have the unmitigated gall to pen something as rancid as If I Did It, call it fiction, and expect to profit? I couldn’t bring myself to look at this repackaged tripe and, apparently, neither could a lot of other people. Thankfully, the "O.G.loved One's" ill-advised foray into true crime confession is now #125 on, although I do feel for the Goldman family as the book’s gathering freefall means less sour grapes for the juice.

When the book placed in the top ten, it stood in a class all its own. Nothing from its genre had ever garnered so much attention. In fact, the book paved the way for anyone – group, individual or heir -- wanting to peddle a compelling true story as fiction. I had a strange inkling about a possible literary trend, so I decided to do some digging around. What I uprooted is indeed stranger than fiction. Take a look at the top seven manuscripts rumored for publishing in 2008:

1. If We Perpetrated A Cover Up, by the Warren Commission
Subject: Assassination of President John F. Kennedy.
Summary: Back in the day, before Freedom of Information and the JFK Records Act, there was no need to consider a conspiracy. We could pretty much investigate however we pleased. The development of forensic science was primitive in comparison to today’s methodologies. Also, the lack of meaningful oversight allowed us to omit key information with no immediate consequences. As the months dragged on, it became readily apparent if we reported the destruction of material evidence or numerous irregularities in our own fact-finding mission, then too many “good old boys” would lose their jobs. Blaming a dead man and those bozos in the Secret Service became our ticket out of Dodge.

2. If I Caused It, by Yoko Ono
Subject: The break up of The Beatles.
Summary: John always most talented of that group. But inside, he still insecure like little boy. From minute we meet eyes, John drawn to me, like young butterfly to flowing nectar. I suppose it not hurt I also master of ancient Japanese technique. I plan all those bed-ins, make John my sex slave. Very soon, John do exactly as I say. I say world revolve around us, not mopheads. John take me everywhere, let me deal with cheeky leeches. Everyone fight. Only one sure way to make end.

3. If We Pushed Illegal Drugs To Do Our Dirty Work , by George H.W. Bush
Subject: Ending the counter-culture revolution.
Summary: All those commie subversives from the ‘60s -- Black Panthers, Brown Berets, Cesar Chavez, Martin Luther King, Jr., Young Lords, Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee – they all swore an oath to destroy America. Our secret intelligence tried every known tactic to squelch those vermin. Yet, as fast as we could pick ‘em off, another would take their place. The CIA still denies any involvement in illegal drug trafficking, but it took me less than a year to find out how we were sweeping those pinkos off the streets into the crack houses and prisons where they belonged. Of course, with my political aspirations being what they were, once I caught on, I had to resign my position as Director. Told everyone I needed to spend more time with Babs.

4. If I Erased It, by Rose Mary Woods, as told by her best friend (name withheld upon request)
Subject: The missing Watergate tapes.
Summary: In a desperate attempt to save my career, I purposefully erased about ten minutes of those tapes. Even an average jane secretary knows her boss is going down when he’s reckless enough to record himself disparaging minorities. I swore an oath to Tricky I’d never tell, but seeing as how he resigned, I can’t see the harm now. I immediately stopped erasing when an aid barged through my door. After everyone had left the office for the day, I went back to retrieve an old sweater. There was Tricky, all flustered and sweating like a cow, poor thing. He was desperate to work the erase pedal. I gently tried to show him how, but he stubbornly insisted on doing it himself. Before he could get the hang of it, Pat barged in. She ordered him upstairs. I quickly put on my sweater and left. Heard her saying something about finishing what he started. Never did learn what.

5. If Humans Were Bred With Extraterrestrials , by Paul Bennewitz, as told
by an extremely concerned neighbor (name withheld upon request)
Subject: Area 51.
Summary: They poisoned me, those S.O.B.s, my mind, my water, all my food, everything I hold near and dear. They know it, I know it, and now the whole world will know. They used that off limits base to breed humans with aliens. It’s the only way the United States will remain a world power. When I found out, they implanted a chip in my brain to keep me from blabbing. They know it, I know it, and now the whole world will know. Don’t mind all the crazy drawings posted on my walls. Do you hear voices? I need a cigarette. Will you please make the voices stop? Where’s my cheese?

6. If It Wasn’t An Accident, by Prince Philip
Subject: Death of Princess Diana.
Summary: I always felt responsible for forcing that disastrous marriage, more so when she and poor Charles divorced. Those half naked tabloid pictures with that ghastly Arab, well, that’s what did her in, I’m afraid. As mother of heir to the royal throne, she still had our dignity to maintain. Bett tried to warn her by floating rumors, but the little tart paid no mind. She left the House of Windsor no choice. Putting my brilliant stroke of genius into action was quite easy, really. We knew her itinerary. We had a discreet link inside the DGSE. We set up a ruse for some chap to pose as a photographer. The rest, shall we say, is history. My one regret is Henri. He wasn’t supposed to be on service detail.

7. If Daddy Orchestrated It, by Jenna Bush
Subject: 9/11.
Summary: It’s no secret Daddy used drugs and alcohol to cope with his inadequacies. I’ll be the first to confess, being the do nothing offspring of a powerful man is mucho depress-o. At some point, Mum threatened to leave Daddy unless he sobered up. The next thing I knew, Grandpa and Uncle Dick promised Daddy the White House in return for a whole buncha stuff. Something about that Bin Laden dude and Halliburton. Does Saudi mean anything to y’all? Anyhoo, every who was anyone in the Republican party leaned all over those supreme court robes to sway Daddy’s election. Then, Condi worked out a plan involving stealth planes and missile fire -- still a tad hazy on details – something about increasing Daddy’s ratings in opinion polls to impress Mum. I feel bad innocent people had to die, but I’m sure glad my folks stayed together. Umm. Well. Can y’all excuse me? Henry and I gotta party.

Mess Ups and Dress Ups - A Halloween Filled Foible Review

I've been having a lot of problems with my computer. Not that anyone cares. In trying to get back up to speed, I also noticed a lot of problems in the underbelly of government and entertainment. Hmmm, might make a good feature for the blog, I mused. Ta da. Out of musings, a new feature is born.

1. This nimnall may rank as the dumbest celebrity of all time. Last year, he made more than $500K and pocketed an additional $15K a month in child support, yet his 2006 net earnings total only $7,436.00! In my book, that's either an awful lot of blow, too many sycophants, a need to join shopaholics, or a combination of all three. Maybe he's just a pushover for consumer crazy kids, who knows, but somebody better get hold of this idiot and shake some sense into him...[more]

2. Found a fabulo roundup of Halloween pictures of the rich and famous. Only problem is someone either goofed by including a pix of costumed Christine Aguilera and Jason Bratman from Halloween Past, or that's the best bump camouflaging costume I've ever seen. If the latter, all massively preggers people would be insane not to track down the designer...[more]

3. Looks like Vincent "Don Vito" Margera of Jackass fame got down and dirty in the wrong state at the wrong time. Tsk. Them Colorado folk take their molesting accusations rather seriously, I'd say. Poor Don may be going away for life for something that would have been looked on with a snigger and a wink in good ol' el Lay. Guess that'll teach him where to get lewd and crude. On a side note, what's with the split verdict? Where I come from, it's either all or mistrial. Seems if you're going to send someone away for life, the least your justice system could do is require unanimity...[more]

4. Immigrant Francisco Casteneda got more than he bargained for after being detained by Immigration and Customs officials. But he's going to get even. The bonehead moves of our government never cease to amaze me. I just hope Mr. Casteneda gets the chance to live for his day in court...[more]

5. Perhaps the reality TV blunder of all time, we finally learn about FBI involvement in the O.J. Simpson Vegas sting. What some people will do for money is beyond comprehension. Oh sure. Thomas Riccio got his fifteen minutes and much much more. But was it worth the risk of becoming a convicted felon and forever having his name associated with the most famous celebrity murderer of all time? Call me crazy, but whatever happened to achieving fame the old fashioned way?...[more]

That's a wrap. For now...adieu.

Jaleel White

Jaleel Ahmad White is a former child star best known for his role as super-dork Steve Urkel on the 1990s family sitcom, Family Matters.White has born on November 27, 1976 in Pasadena, California. White started his acting career in TV commercials and guest starring roles on TV shows. At the age of three White appeared in a commercial for Kellogg’s and in other commercials after his preschool