Native Americans Fume Over Geronimo Connection with Osama Bin Laden

They could have given it any one of a number of befitting code names. "Rattlesnake Ransome," "Jailhouse Rock," "Monster Mash," or "Montezuma's Revenge" would have perfectly described the commando mission that ended the life of the most hated man in America. Heck, they could have called it "Mission Beelzebub" and no one would have batted an eyelash.

But use code name "Geronimo to reference anything associated with Osama bin Laden and all hell breaks loose.

It wasn't immediately clear if U.S. commandos used "Geronimo" as a reference to the universally reviled bin Laden or as confirmation of the death mission that blew his brains out. Several national news organizations reported accounts from the Situation Room identifying bin Laden as Geronimo. The White House disputed the account. Either way, Native Americans are royally ticked off.

A statement issued by Jefferson Keel, president of The National Congress of American Indians skewers the Obama administration for associating the legendary Apache chief's name with a scumbag terrorist, saying in part,

"Our understanding is that bin Laden's actual code name was 'Jackpot' and the operation name was 'Geronimo,'[But] "to associate a Native warrior with bin Laden is not an accurate reflection of history and it undermines the military service of Native people. It's critical that military leaders and operational standards honor the service of those who protect our freedom."

In a letter to President Obama, Fort Sill Apache Tribe Chairman Jeff Houser demanded an apology, saying "to equate Geronimo or any other Native American figure with Osama bin Laden, a mass murderer and cowardly terrorist, is painful and offensive to our Tribe and to all Native Americans."

The debate over insensitive use of Native American references reverberates throughout the halls of Washington. Congress intends to explore the matter today in an oversight hearing: "Stolen Identities: The Impact of Racist Stereotypes on Indigenous People" Committee member Loretta Tuell said inappropriate use of Native American references is prevalent throughout America and negatively affects children.

At least one blogger's recollection of personal discrimination illustrates the negative impact on the Native American psyche. What connection her experience has to use of Native American references, I'm not sure. Remove all such references from the picture and the discrimination could very well remain the same. On the other hand, putting the shoe on the other foot, I can see how linking bin Laden to the code name "Moshe Dyan" might raise the hackles of the ADL.

In that regard, Native American outrage over the bin Laden connection isn't hyper sensitivity run amuck. More like a cry for common decency, at least when it comes to associations with the loathesome and repugnant.


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Neiman Marcusgate Threatens Future Candidacy of Sarah Palin

In the days following Election 2008's historic outcome, scads of Conservatives publicly bemoan rabid personal attacks against Republican V.P. nominee Sarah Palin and the failure of Senator John McCain, her vanquished running mate, to personally silence detractors.

They can't understand how McCain could defend his Democratic opponent, Barack Obama, at a campaign rally, yet allow what's considered malicious gossip to flourish against Governor Palin.

Well, I very well may have happened upon the most plausible explanation to date.

Homespun Analysis of Biden-Palin Debate

"Stock Answers And Stick To The Talking Points" v. "Run With Momentum And Emphasize Strengths."

That pretty much sums up performances by Sarah Palin and Joe Biden respectively in last night's debate.

Look, I'm not beholden to any network or news conglomerate. No one's going to fire me for media bias. Do I support Barack Obama in the 2008 election? Of course. Does that make me incapable of speaking the truth? I think not. Despite what the political nemesis masquerading as my husband claims, I am not predisposed against Sarah Palin.

Well, at least not because she's John McCain's running mate. Truth be told, I like and admire John McCain. He's a decorated war hero and an upstanding member of the U.S. Senate. I'm not too keen on his lobbyist ties, but what Senator doesn't scratch the back of someone else to benefit constituents? At least he's never been the subject of scandal.

Not yet, anyway.

But McCain's pick of Governor Sarah Palin as second in command has to be one of the all-time boneheaded moves of anyone who has ever run for president. This debate did nothing to resolve my own lingering doubts about his judgment or ability to lead. Our country is on the brink of social and economic collapse and this is the best rabbit he could pull out of his misshapen hat?

For thinking and intelligent women everywhere, "Sarah Barracuda" is an insult to the office of vice president. She looks and acts like Wall Street Investment Banker Barbie.

With looks that could kill and ability to bat those baby browns, Palin could charm her way into just about anything. I'm certain that's the reason for her meteoric rise to Governor of Alaska -- a state about the size of Baltimore City -- putting her executive experience on par with Baltimore's current mayor, Sheila Dixon. Not to knock Mayor Dixon (she has enough trouble brewing underfoot), but I wouldn't seriously consider sending Dixon to Pennsylvania Avenue.

Oh, but Palin is likable, she's so darn likable, ya just gotta like 'er.

Yeah, well Kathleen Kennedy Townsend is so darn likable too and I wouldn't want her running the country. Heck, I didn't even want her running the State of Maryland.

After the debate, I sat and listened to the pundits but finally had to switch FoxNews because they didn't have the guts to invite a liberal commentator. Each pundit patted their own well-tailored back, complimenting Palin on her ability to avoid a "deer trapped in the headlights" look as well as answer each question without a major gaffe. Bleh. The incessant hand holding made me nauseous.

Grow a pair you spineless dimwits.

First of all, Palin made at least two major gaffes. Her refusal to characterize the Bush Administration's Middle East missteps as failed foreign policy was so far off the charts dead wrong I started screaming at the TV screen. What is it about the proliferation of Hamas and Hezbollah -- two groups on our State Department's terrorist watch list -- that don't qualify as security threats to our only democratic ally in the Middle East? Biden briefly explained how these policies helped Hamas and Hezbollah rise to power and he was right.

And clearly Palin pandered to Jewish voters by suggesting McCain would move the American Embassy from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem. No presidential candidate has ever made such a representation and for good reason. As the only foreign embassy in Israel's capital, the mere hint of a U.S. presence would spark riots and be a magnet for terrorist attacks.

Dumkopf. The woman has absolutely no grasp of foreign policy.

Palin's second major gaffe concerned the office of vice president. Palin agreed with Dick Cheney's interpretation of vice presidential power and duties. Yet, anyone with any comprehension of the U.S. Constitution knows our government is divided into three branches and the duties of vice president reside solely in the executive branch. Unlike the poppycock propounded by Cheney, the vice president does not derive power from both the executive and legislative branches. Towing the party line on this issue cost Palin credibility and pegged her as a talking head puppet.

As for Biden, maybe I am prejudice. He was utterly amazing.

Every opening she gave him, and there were many, he shot down McCain. Like an artist on a large swath of canvas, he deftly painted McCain as McBush by emphasizing repeated mistakes, all the while carefully avoiding direct criticism of his immediate opponent. It was masterful, really, and practically undetectable. I doubt even Palin realized being painted into a corner by the big guy.

Why, she barely moved a muscle to get out. Just kept repeating those Stepford Wives talking points.

I could go on and on about her grating annoyances, like bangs she refused to move for what seemed like an eternity so that they fluttered like caterpillars crawling down her forehead every time she blinked.

Or the way she came out and immediately asked Biden if she could call him "Joe" then proceeded to call him "Senator Biden" or "you" throughout the debate.

Or the number of times she referred to McCain as "maverick" and the State of Alaska as her "energy rich state."

Or the "god bless him" references and frozen smile as she listened to Biden's counter-attacks.

Or how she argued with Biden about the meaning behind his Senate vote on the Iraqi War and refused to acknowledge or explain why McCain had voted the same way.

Or how she artfully dodged most of her questions by regurgitating well rehearsed talking points.

If this is who y'all want a heartbeat away from the presidency, then so be it. I'm done trying to persuade the unmovable. All I know is this woman is woefully unprepared for a job she has no intention of relinquishing of her own volition. She'll need the American people to make her step down.

On November 4th, please make Sarah Palin step down.

Road to White House Runs Through David Letterman

"The economy is about to crater."

"Now that I'd like to see."

"Crater? I barely know her."

Bada bum.

But don't blame Letterman for what passed as witty repartee on last night's Late Night With David Letterman. After scheduled guest John McCain cancelled at the last minute, Dave struggled mightily to go on with the show.

I can only imagine the campaign's sorry cancellation call.

"Mr. Letterman? Uh, the Maverick has decided to suspend his presidential campaign to save our economy and he can't grace your show with his presence either. Make do with anything you can scrounge up around the studio (recently demoted MSNBC pundit Keith Olbermann was only too happy to oblige). Or suck it up, we don't care, there's work to be done inside the beltway." Click.

Yeah, buddy, well nobody puts Davey in the corner! Not even a powerful Senator of the U.S. Congress. We taxpayers don't care if we're about to take it up the wazoo for a gazillion dollar bailout or that Dubya's idea of saving the economy is to steal from the rich and give to the richer, we want our late night entertainment and we want it now!!

Clearly a bit of tension filled the studio as Dave's camera crew caught the GOP Nominee in a sit down with Katie Couric. You could have cut Dave's pride with a knife. Does McCain have any idea who he's tangling with?

At one point, Dave suggested McCain's surprise suspension of his run for the presidency was a ruse to counter sliding poll numbers, not a noble sacrifice to save the economy. He may have been joking, but the bite was unmistakable.

More so as he questioned McCain's failure to substitute "sexy babe" running mate Sarah Palin on the campaign trail. Gotta wonder what those two have been hiding. Heaven forbid the press should make mincemeat out of her before the election.

So, yeah, all the late night commotion got me thinking whether I want this sort of shoot from the hip style running the White House.

And here I thought Dave was a McCain supporter.

(video is over 9 minutes long but worth it. May disappear in foreseeable future)

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Politics of Hypocrisy Isn't Pretty in Pink

!!!!

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Jon Stewart scores a perfect 300. Pinheads of politics didn't even see it coming.

Doubting Sarah Barracuda will bowl 'em over come November.

Loudmouth Roseanne Thinks Jon Voight Endorsement Controls Outcome of Election

Roseanne Barr was once so famous she didn't need a last name.

The once rotund TV star made her way into all the best restaurants, exclusive night clubs, luxury hotel suites, and fabulous parties just by mentioning her highly rated sitcom, Roseanne. The comedienne formerly known as "Domestic Goddess" had no need to be concerned with other "Rosies" of that era.

Roseanna Arquette, a similarly sounding supernova, had a popular song named after her and an extra "a" thrown in for good measure (not that Big Bertha and the comely Arquette shared anything remotely in common). The next possible contender was a hilarious figment of Gilda Radner's imagination, leaving a wide open field for anyone wanting to grab the moniker as their own.

And grab she did, longingly, loudly, greedily, and above all obnoxiously. Practically everyone knew the women's name whenever conspicuous consumption of food preceded emissions of a slightly nasal twang.

I'd be hard pressed to think of other famous Roseannes, but you're welcome to try. Bear in mind that Rosie O'Donnell didn't land her breakout role in A League of Their Own until 1992, while Roseanne peaked at number one by 1989.

Lucy, Elvis, Twiggy, Donovan, Cher, Liberace, Oprah, Madonna, Dolly, Iman, these were the one-word name chic pioneers of the day. Paving the way for upstarts like Roseanne to one day assume the mantel. Lord knows throughout the years she's given everyone their money's worth. Starting with the raunchy stand-up routine leading to a nationally syndicated TV show and one-way ticket out of white trash hell, Roseanne has been huge, both figuratively and literally.

At a time when Hollywood had little use for women the size of Shelley Winters, her massive girth set mouths agape. Hardly anyone thought Hollywood would embrace such a morbidly obese loudmouth. Yet time and time again, Roseanne proved them wrong. By playing wife and mother to a mid-western family as that family would likely exist in the late 1980s, Rosie and co-star John Goodman shattered long-held beliefs of the modern American family, swiftly consigning images of the perfect family from earlier shows like Leave It to Beaver and Father Knows Best to a bygone time.

But Roseanne paid a price for all that candor. Part of her charm was telling it like it is, not the way network executives wanted to whitewash it. Tempers flared, writers quit, and eventually the show was cancelled, perhaps a year or two before its time. But none too soon for network hoohas who couldn't wait for the 800 pound gorilla in the room to leave the building.

Since then, for the most part, Roseanne's career has veered steadily downhill, resting at almost a complete standstill. Her personal life didn't fare much better. After divorcing first husband Bill Pentland and bringing newcomer Tom Arnold into the fold, she embarked upon a series of disgustingly inappropriate talk show appearances, sometimes with Arnold in tow, sometimes not, but always going too far in the "Ewwwwww, I can't believe she just said/did that" department. The marriage flopped after four years. She then married Ben Thomas, her security guard, but that marriage lasted only seven.

Perhaps one of Roseanne's more notorious faux pas was making an idiotic spectacle of herself at a San Diego Padres game opener.

You can't see it in this video, but she clutches her own crotch, makes an offensive gesture, and spits on the ground at the end. Again, hordes of people couldn't wait to see her exit stage left.

This brief history of the mammoth one -- who by the way underwent gastric bypass surgery and finally slimmed down to a very palatable size 10 -- is due to recent reactions against the inexplicable political tirade posted on her personal blog. Many again sit with mouths agape reading her scathing attack against actors Jon Voight, Glen Beck, Brangelina and six innocent children.

Believe it or not, I sort of understand where she's coming from. Roseanne is frustrated For days, the pundits have been making the presidential election about poll numbers rather than policy. Depending upon the polling institution, McCain is pulling ahead of Obama in some scattered areas throughout the country. News like that has got to make a person like Roseanne flip-out. Pitiful shame too because poll results are notoriously unreliable.

The way I see it, her infamous blog entry will forever confirm Roseanne's permanent place in la-la land. Then again, I can't say I blame her. She only did what millions of bloggers across the globe do each morning in the hope of reaching a mass audience. Granted, as a famous one word name former TV star, she has somewhat of a head start. Roseanne is not much different than the rest of us armchair pundits, kicking out thought provoking rants and hoping for link love.

'The neocons who own jon voight and make him dance on the chabad telethons are the worst most elitist people on earth. glen beck and jon voight are their bit**es... both of them are used tampons who must be flushed down the toilet immediately!' she rants like a foaming lunatic.
...

Addressing Brangelina on the fly, she adds, '...McCain wants to continue with the idea of war for profit...the americans are over that thinking now! They have drugged our troops and lower classes into supporting their oil business atrocities for long enough. We want to save not lose our souls thank you. Now go back to making your movies about women who love to handle big guns that shoot hundreds of people to death. Ps....it might be good for your asian and african children's self esteem to know you support a brown man for the leader of the free world.)'

Jon Voight must be rubber and Roseanne glue. From what I can glean, she's the only one suffering any humiliation from her brief foray into insanity.

I don't like the way she browbeats Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, using their multi-cultural family as bait, but then it doesn't surprise me. If I recall correctly, Roseanne was one of the first people in Hollywood to ridicule cross-race adoptions. Probably around the time Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman adopted their son, Roseanne made a crude remark about the adoption of "black babies" as status symbol.

To his credit, Voight issued a tame public rebuttal. Now if we all sit very quietly holding our collective breath, the former domestic goddess may just slither away and reoccupy her place away from the limelight for another ten years.

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Jennifer Aniston Stars in Dee Plump-Up

Vat to do ven da hol' vorld votches vit bated breath?

As da fling vit John Mayer vas ending, dis vas dee question plaguing "unlucky een love" Jennifer Aniston.


Solution?

"Ve are goinck to plump... (clap) ...YOU UP!"

Just days before Aniston's publicist announced the end of her summer fling with John Mayer, Star Magazine snapped a puffy cupids bow peppering her pout. Preparation for the inevitable crush of media, no doubt. What better way to compensate for looks of pity and mocking text messages than with an eye-shocking fakeover?

Makeover? Pshaw! So yesterday. Only pure unadulterated collagen injections will do for the heart-broken pouts of Hollywood.

Saving face must be Aniston's primary concern in the ensuing media frenzy. Circling the wagons, confidant spinmeisters set the record straight over who did the dumping.

It was 'Jen who decided to move on,' says an unreported source. 'She is very fond of John and has thought he might be the one. She finds him funny, sexy and very talented. ... Plus he understands all the aspects of living in a fishbowl. But in the final analysis, she just got tired of his roving eye.'

Whew. That takes a load off my mind. So glad the infidelity precipitating her decision wasn't Mayer's way of taking the easy way out.

But, hey, bursting Aniston's healing bubble wouldn't be cool. Not while she's so obviously tender and vulnerable. Taking solace in being the dumper rather than the dumpee is a far better way of coping than going under the knife.

Why bother when so much of her is already plastic?

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Mike Myers Schwings John McCain Fan Club Advertisement

Here we go again. Don't those McCain staffers know when to quit? I mean, is "Fan Club," their latest attack against Barack Obama for real? It looks like a computer science project spliced together by a 10-year old.

Now all we need is a viral video response from Wayne and Garth, aka Mike Myers and Dana Carvey, declaring their joint candidacy from a roach infested basement in Aurora, Illinois. Didn't those two perform a similarly inspired sketch at this year's MTV Movie Awards?

Wait a minute. I think I'm gonna hurl.

Okay, I'll take the bait, although a remake of campaign McCain's homepage looks suspiciously like the gateway to Barack Obama's fan club. Hey, I'm ready to sign on for dreamy eyes. But wait. Isn't this McCain's campaign website?

I'm soooooo confused!

Ignoring the possibility of a set-up, as in "I think we're not in Kansas any more," the latest stink between campaign McCain and SNL royalty is so far over the top we may all be getting punk'd.

Ashton Kutcher, is that you?

Maybe not. In case you haven't already put two and two together, campaign McCain "is not worthy," having once again stepped over the line of ethical behavior by using protected intellectual property without first securing permission from the rightful owners.

At least Mike Myers had the stones to scream copyright infringement, although fat lot of good it did with the video still parked on YouTube. So the offending final minutes won't appear on television. Big deal. How many donors will receive emails with the password for private viewing? Isn't that the same as Camp McCain plowing full speed ahead?

Michael Goldfarb, staffer of The McCain Report, laments cutting the Wayne's World bit off the official ad, casting some sort of vast left wing Hollywood conspiracy theory or possible plot of another Star Wars sequel as culprit.

Goldfarb is so far off the mark, I'm ready to blow chunks.

Just who does the Senator from Arizona think he is using celebrity copyrights and trademarked material like they're lazily floating about in the public domain, ripe for the pickings of any Washington insider with an itchy lasso?

Self-absorbed maverick? More like bubble-headed lamebrain.

Typecasting McCain and cronies desperately want to pin on Obama.

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Barack Obama Embraces British Soul Singer Joss Stone

Joss Stone with music producer Raphael Saadiq

Joss Stone holding what appears to be an illegal substance


Oh no, tell me it isn't so.

The Sun reports presidential candidate Barack Obama personally recruited British soul singer Joss Stone to write and record his campaign theme because he likes the way she appeals to both blacks and whites.

Are Obama's campaign advisers on vacation for the summer? Do any of them care about the moral character of people associated with the presumptive Democratic nominee's campaign?

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Public Reaction to Famous Infidelties Bodes Badly for John Edwards

John Edwards' admission of an affair with 42-year old campaign staffer Rielle Hunter finally confirmed persistent rumors dodging the blogosphere throughout the primary election. The questionable reputation of The National Enquirer, the lead source of this sordid story, bolstered Edwards' ability to deny initial infidelity reports and keep reputable news organizations off the investigative trail.

With the affair out in the open and Edwards offering to help prove paternity of Hunter's newborn, pundits now debate Edwards' political future. Some, like Clinton loyalist James Carville, claim "his political career is in shambles." Others, like former presidential candidate John Kerry "don't know what's possible and what's gone."

It's not so much his infidelity -- despicable as it may be to have cheated on a wife whose cancer was in remission -- but the vehement way in which Edwards and his campaign staff denied initial reports. This breach of public trust brands Edwards as a liar, a difficult character trait to erase. If history is any indication of the outcome, the public will not soon forget.

Take a look at public reaction to these famous infidelities.

In a recent television news poll, former President Bill Clinton was voted top political adulterer of all time. Some point to Clinton for wife Hillary's bitter loss in the 2008 primaries. Clinton's attempts to cover-up of his affair with intern Monica Lewinsky threatened to bring down his presidency. Today, there are people who blame his indiscretions for the events leading up to 9/11.

Actress Meg Ryan was America's sweetheart until she publicly cheated on husband Dennis Quaid with Australian new comer Russell Crowe. Their subsequent divorce lead Ryan into seclusion and questionable plastic surgery. In a recent interview with Parade magazine, Ryan revealed, "It's a very big surprise in life when you learn that not everyone is rooting for you." Since falling off the radar, none of Ryan's movies have achieved critical or box office success.

Stand-up comic and actor Eddie Murphy was voted the world's leading love rat for insensitively dumping Spice Girl Melanie Brown and refusing paternity testing for her daughter, Iris Angel. He finally admitted paternity after Brown filed suit. Before then, Murphy famously cheated on wife and mother of his five other children Nicole Mitchell with a transvestite prostitute, resulting in a messy divorce. He subsequently split with Tracey Edmonds reportedly because she refused to sign a prenuptial agreement. Murphy's movies have had mixed reactions at the box office. His Shrek animation franchise plays to large crowds, but his solo features are not as popular. Perhaps most telling of public reaction is Murphy's stunning loss of an Academy Award for his moving turn as James Early in the widely successful Dreamgirls, this after being called the odds on favorite.

The philandering of former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich is described as the height of hypocrisy for Gingrich had publicly rebuked the embattled Bill Clinton at the same time as his own indiscretions. Gingrich famously dumped first wife Jackie as she recuperated from cancer in the hospital. When his pastor criticized him for failing to support his two children, he left the church. Gingrich also dumped wife number two, Marianne, in a Mother's Day telephone conversation after cheating with Congressional aide, Callista Bisek. Although they subsequently married, the scandal likely kept Gingrich out of the 2008 election. Though the scandal was still under wraps when Gingrich famously resigned his position as Speaker of the House, some still blame his infidelity for costing the Republican Party.

Before there was Team Aniston and Team Jolie, crooner Eddie Fisher famously broke actress Debbie Reynolds' heart by running away with actress Elizabeth Taylor. Todd Fisher, the couple's son, called his father's infidelity the "scandal of all times." Fisher and Taylor quickly married and divorced. Still, fans sided with Reynolds against the evil Fisher and Liz. Fisher never had another top 40 hit after his marriage to Taylor. At best, his movie career is described as mediocre. And over time, Fisher has been relegated to performing in smaller and smaller venues.

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Beyotch Swotch Catfights: Williams v. Omarosa and Danica v. Duno

Ack. No. Say it isn't so. Someone actually approved the reappearance of Stinkaroma Manigsworth-Stalwhatever on television!

Just because classless nobody publishes a predictably tell nothing book with catchy beyotch title doesn't mean anybody's going to buy it. Whoever talked Wendy Williams into bringing that street smart smack talking divorcee on her fine television program ought to be beyotch-slapped.

Better yet, "You're F-I-R-E-D."

It all started when Williams mentioned the perception of Omarosa as "ABW" (angry black woman). Stinky said she'd rather be ABW than a buffoon. At that point, Williams should have told her it was too late, but instead valiantly tried to stay the course. Meanwhile, Stinky took potshot jabs.

Then it got truly ugly. Stinky accused Wendy of being fake while Wendy in turn slowly picked her apart. As they sat there symbolically clawing away at one another, the plushy pink couch began to look more like a psycho ward chaise than a celebrity talk show perch. Honestly, their catfight was so over the top, I started to wonder whether it was staged.

There must be a strain of catnip in the drinking water because champion racing car driver Danica Patrick recently clawed it out with rival Milka Duno. Maybe the heat is starting to fry people's brains. Don't they realize they're being recorded?

Maybe like old Stinkaroma, whose 15 minutes expired an eternity ago, they simply just don't care.

That's the Way McLaughlin's Oreo Cookie Crumbles

Here we go again. A talk show host emits a racially charged epithet and all hell breaks loose. Wonder how long protesters will take to mobilize on this one.

Just to be clear, John McLaughlin, host of ratings challenged The McLaughlin Group, did not call Senator Barack Obama an oreo cookie. He merely said that Obama fits the stereotype of an oreo cookie.

Uh, split hairs much? What's the difference? Look, don't take my word for it, read the transcript for yourself. Better yet, watch the video.

In case you've been out of it or on vacation, a baton is passing in the civil rights movement. As a result, the Reverend Jesse Jackson, who could not gain the backing of a major political party if his life depended upon it, hurled some disparaging criticism against presidential hopeful Barack Obama. Jackson mistakenly thought his microphone was off. Man, did he ever miscalculate. Good thing he never got any further than the primaries in his quest for the presidency.

Jackson's gutter language attack and subsequent apology were already fish wrappings yet, mainly due to pundits like McLaughlin, the controversy lingered. If you ask me, McLaughlin got caught with his hand in the proverbial cookie jar. Verbatim, here is the query that landed him in hot water.

Question -- Does it frost Jackson, Jesse Jackson, that someone like Obama, who fits the stereotype blacks once labeled as an 'Oreo' -- a black on the outside, a white on the inside -- that an 'Oreo' should be the beneficiary of the long civil rights struggle, which Jesse Jackson spent his lifetime fighting for?

My, oh my.

Some people simply refuse to let the Jackson flap die a quiet dignified death. Some people would rather milk every bit of salacious sound bite they can wrench from that gob of goo. Some people just don't know when to leave well enough alone. Some people even think it's a good idea to add their own unsavory ingredients to the mix. And unfortunately, some people don't acknowledge retirement even when it has the courtesy to come politely knocking at their door.

That's why some people can now count themselves among the casualties of a political firestorm. Good luck with those cookie references now.

Celebrity Boob Job Gone Bad

This kind of story really isn't my style, but with so much focus on celebrity body parts, I couldn't resist. Let's see, skin grafts for tats, mutilated lips, corset busting flab, hideous face lifts, the list grows exponentially by the number of inappropriate liaisons getting pruney in Malibu hot tubs.

At that rate, it may extend to infinity and beyond.

Anywho, found some gawdawful pix in Celebrity Hide Out's nip slips and oops (if I told you how I got there, you wouldn't believe me so why bother) and couldn't believe that an otherwise attractive young thang would voluntarily alter the size of her breast cavity with something so incredibly fake. I mean, look at these whoppers, it's like someone stuck two ginormous inflatable bowling balls on her chest and called them bazookas.

Identity of "when boob jobs go bad" after the jump.

Gemma Atkinson.

Come to think of it, that ridiculous boob job could have been any one of a number of Hollywood players.

Update: After this article ran, a site we endorse ran a link to the Fake or Not quiz, a parental guidance suggested site. My score was a respectable 160, although not in the top range. Just goes to show even a trained eye is not infallible.

If you're in the market for NFW time wasters, this quiz is the real deal.

Clinton Campaign Jumps the Shark and Should Leave the Building

Does anyone still want Hillary Clinton for V.P. after this bombshell?

Call me old-fashioned, but I'm still a big believer in Freudian slips. And with the Clinton track record and her Sopranos knock-off commercial, I can't regard her remarks as mere silliness. Call me a crazy conspiracy theorist if you like, but there's no room in civil political discourse for a response like this. The reporter asked, "Why [have people tried to push you out of the race since Iowa]?" Rather than consider something plausible, Clinton faulted the media, saying historically it made no sense to push a candidate out before June and then cited the RFK assassination as justification.

Even in the best light, the explanation is irresponsible and, forgive me Clinton supporters, incredibly idiotic. I don't know about everyone else, but I can't stomach the thought of a presidency with Dana Quail, Jr. second in command...

...or the Ralph Nader of 2008.

I have already highlighted numerous other missteps of Senator Clinton's campaign, but none so egregious, so over the top, so incredibly divisive as her most recent gaffe. Please, everyone, for the sake of the Party, join together. Put an end to the candidacy of a politician whose actions serve only to tear us apart. Urge party leaders to dance Hillary off the stage, quickly, quietly, but forcibly, while she still retains a portion of her dignity.

It's over, folks, it's over. She fought the good fight, but she's done.

Ban on Channel 4 "Skins" Poster Targets Wrong Media

Being from this side of the pond, I'm not exactly familiar with British television. It seems to run programs on public access TV that the colonies could only run on cable. Precisely the rub in this mixed-up brouhaha.

A controversy over teen angst drama, Skins, blew up in Channel 4's face after the Advertising Standards Authority received 42 complaints over this promotional poster. Supposedly, that's a teen orgy swirling around the main characters. The station must now remove all the posters.

I have to admit, the scene shows a lot of exposed skin and licking in a bedroom filled with young people, but this poster doesn't appear any racier than a show widely available to watch on television. Besides, any self-respecting orgy would have multiple teens going at it together at the same time, something clearly absent in this promotional material.

Teen angst is not my thing, having gotten my fill of it in the 1980s with Beverly Hills: 90210 (which I hear they're reviving as sequel). Since it's easy enough to find fan sites and videos of Skins, I thought I'd give the show a once over. Wow. If this stuff is on public access, the problem isn't the poster, it's the show itself.

In a widely circulated YouTube video, two boys wake up together in bed covered by a comforter possibly so inappropriate, I had to censor it for my blog. Wouldn't want to get cited and banned myself now, would I?

I don't want to tell you what the guy on the right was doing as the scene opened, nor do I want to describe what he did with his hands afterwards. Oh, those crazy Brits. This yokel is amazed at what passes for socially acceptable on their airwaves.

What really gets my goat is how the Advertising Standards Authority gave a pass to material in a second promotional poster. Oh yes, people complained about it too, but the ASA didn't see any reason to issue a second ban.

One of the characters lies in a bathtub under water, his eyes opened. I'm pretty sure the guy's dead. If not, he's possessed. Definitely not the sort of poster you'd want a 5-year old toddler to notice. And since it seems to glorify death or the supernatural, I wouldn't want impressionable teenagers to notice either.

In my book, a dead guy under water with eyes wide opened is far more offensive than a few half-naked teens sucking face.

[Source]

Death of a Rumor: "Sex and The City" Movie Plot Revealed

The "buzz kicks into overdrive" as SATC: The Movie inches ever closer to its London debut. Squawks of foul play from New Yorkers (even those from Brooklyn) have become all too palpable as wounds from being poked with the raw end of a stick begin to crack the veneer of Manhattan sidewalks.

No wonder people are strewing death rumors about like Mardi Gras beads, ratcheting the electrified air of tension into a fever pitch of frenzy.

If I had known Big was gonna die, I would have commissioned a dirge for the premiere.

Put the rumors to rest, dear gossip mongers. A flurry of nitter natter signifying nothing can only buttress the headlines so long. Nobody dies in the most hotly anticipated movie of the summer, although someone did pitch the idea to director Michael Patrick King.

'I did want an emotional roller-coaster,' King said. 'But my ultimate target was to make our 'girlfriends' -- in other words, our audience -- happy. And I don't think Mr. Big dying would make them happy.'

You got that right, pal. If Carrie and Big don't march off happily ever after, somebody's "gonna haf a lahda 'splaining" to do.

Replacing the original satisfyingly delicious illusion of the series ending with a cinematic 180 would be the most boneheaded move in film history. But it wouldn't be the first time some Hollywood doodad messed around with perfection.

Just please let Charlotte have her baby. That woman needs another object for her affections. Umpteen kisses with Elizabeth Taylor are beginning to spoil her Madonna image, not to mention cause an overwhelming "yech" feeling in the pit of my stomach.

[Source]

Barristers for Prince Philip May Not Mind

Can I write this without getting sued?

Prince Philip is a hairless twit and amazingly out of touch with The Queen's people who by their own misguided sense of loyalty allow the Duke of "Headforturds" to remain stodgy and blithering.

Just in case, I mean that other Prince Philip.

Mess Ups and Dress Ups - A Halloween Filled Foible Review

I've been having a lot of problems with my computer. Not that anyone cares. In trying to get back up to speed, I also noticed a lot of problems in the underbelly of government and entertainment. Hmmm, might make a good feature for the blog, I mused. Ta da. Out of musings, a new feature is born.

1. This nimnall may rank as the dumbest celebrity of all time. Last year, he made more than $500K and pocketed an additional $15K a month in child support, yet his 2006 net earnings total only $7,436.00! In my book, that's either an awful lot of blow, too many sycophants, a need to join shopaholics, or a combination of all three. Maybe he's just a pushover for consumer crazy kids, who knows, but somebody better get hold of this idiot and shake some sense into him...[more]

2. Found a fabulo roundup of Halloween pictures of the rich and famous. Only problem is someone either goofed by including a pix of costumed Christine Aguilera and Jason Bratman from Halloween Past, or that's the best bump camouflaging costume I've ever seen. If the latter, all massively preggers people would be insane not to track down the designer...[more]

3. Looks like Vincent "Don Vito" Margera of Jackass fame got down and dirty in the wrong state at the wrong time. Tsk. Them Colorado folk take their molesting accusations rather seriously, I'd say. Poor Don may be going away for life for something that would have been looked on with a snigger and a wink in good ol' el Lay. Guess that'll teach him where to get lewd and crude. On a side note, what's with the split verdict? Where I come from, it's either all or mistrial. Seems if you're going to send someone away for life, the least your justice system could do is require unanimity...[more]

4. Immigrant Francisco Casteneda got more than he bargained for after being detained by Immigration and Customs officials. But he's going to get even. The bonehead moves of our government never cease to amaze me. I just hope Mr. Casteneda gets the chance to live for his day in court...[more]

5. Perhaps the reality TV blunder of all time, we finally learn about FBI involvement in the O.J. Simpson Vegas sting. What some people will do for money is beyond comprehension. Oh sure. Thomas Riccio got his fifteen minutes and much much more. But was it worth the risk of becoming a convicted felon and forever having his name associated with the most famous celebrity murderer of all time? Call me crazy, but whatever happened to achieving fame the old fashioned way?...[more]

That's a wrap. For now...adieu.

Nebraskan Senator Ernie Chambers Mocks American Justice System

And I thought the Maryland General Assembly was a hunka bad. Compared to certain Nebraskan state legislators, however, our Annapolis representatives are a collective breath of fresh air.

I’m referring to none other than Nebraska State Senator Ernie Chambers. This noble champion of cornhuskers, entrusted to preserve the integrity and dignity of the powers bestowed upon him by our nation’s forefathers, is protesting the injustice of frivolous legal proceedings by filing his very own frivolous lawsuit in a Nebraskan state court. At issue is whether the court has the power to permanently enjoin “widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants.”

Oh yeah. I left out one tiny detail. Senator Chambers filed this dilly of a lawsuit against none other than God.

Yeah. God. Anyone got a problem wit dat?

OMG!

A quick glance at this loony tune’s picture indicates he may very well be past his useful shelf life. Fuhgeddabout his ridiculous justification for filing the lawsuit and proclamation of proper jurisdiction over the defendant. Yes, God is everywhere. So what? That doesn’t mean anyone with an ax to grind can haul His holy rump into court.

I have a better one for the Honorable Senator Chambers (hey, that has a funny ring to it, like “Senate Chambers” and the like). How does the esteemed state senator intend to legally serve this little bundle of blather? Saint Peter?

Speaking of old Peter, I wonder if he has anything better to do than stand at the pearly gates greeting process servers. Who’s to say he has a direct link to God, I mean, do we mere mortals actually know? Taking a mighty big chance entrusting a lawsuit and summons to that wily old angel, if you ask me.

This story is too new, too fresh to pin down all the details. I have to believe there’s more brewing behind the scenes than meets the eye. Otherwise, I might be compelled to advocate Senator Chambers’ immediate ouster from public service. No matter how well intentioned, clogging the court system with blather so frivolous it borders on incendiary is not only irresponsible and foolhardy, but a mockery of our entire justice system. Even more so when the putative plaintiff is a state senator charged to uphold the laws of his home state and nation.

Dude. WTF?

Please do us all a favor. Next time you have a yen to make a point, hold a public protest rally instead. You’ll earn more brownie points with the media, as well as the undying admiration and respect of your colleagues.

Besides, doesn’t organizing a protest rally sound a lot easier than trying to serve God?


Update: On or about October 15, 2008, the trial judge threw out the case saying God could not be served. Wow! Sometimes my insight and analysis is scary.