zoos-pisajes-plantas-etc: March 2011

The Tattooed Poets Project: Vicki Iorio

We're kicking off this year's Tattooed Poets Project with a tattoo that seems, ahem, apropos-etic:

This poetic foot belongs to Vicki Iorio, a New York poet. She explains the tattoo:

"My group of Long Island poets have the pleasure of reading at the Wyld Chyld Cafe and Tattoo Parlor in Merrick, NY. I watched Tammy Nuzzo-Morgan, the poet laureate of Suffolk County get "poet" tattooed across her shoulder blades. [Tammy will be appearing on the site later this month.] She recited poetry while her back was bleeding, I knew at that moment I would have to get one!

It was a cold January night, Sixx tattooed my right foot with a beautiful scripted "poet." It was a beautiful moment and I love my tat and all it signifies. A slew of woman poets have been tattooed by Sixx. A tattooed sisterhood, indeed."

Here is a poem from Vicki:

Tattoo 56

I will get a tattoo next birthday
no one will care
it won't be like birthday 13
when I dyed my hair purple on a shoplift heist
shaved off eyebrows
pierced frozen ears with a needle
hacked off bushy black fur under stockings

I will find an illustrated man
his head bald and shiny
eyes so blue I will see straight through
to his good heart, diamond stud in one ear
massive arms shocking to the touch.

My spider will go willingly to his fly.
I will tell him what I want
where I want it.

After validating plastic worth,
my pirate will lead me to his table
gift me with little hurts
celebrate me electrically
wrap me in gauze
sing the praises of Bacitracin
wish me a happy birthday.

Vicki Iorio is a Long Island poet who hangs around tattoo parlors. Her poems have been published in various publications including hell strung and crooked. She is saving up for another tattoo!

Thanks to Vicki for sharing her poetic tattoo and tattoo poem with us here on Tattoosday!

This entry is ©2011 Tattoosday.

If you are reading this on another web site other than Tattoosday, without attribution, please note that it has been copied without the author's permission and is in violation of copyright laws. Please feel free to visit http://tattoosday.blogspot.com and read our original content. Please let me know if you saw this elsewhere so I contact the webmaster of the offending site and advise them of this violation in their Terms of Use Agreement.

Meet a Scientologist—Jive Aces Peter Howell, Swinging to the Beat of a Different Drum

Meet a Scientologist—Jive Aces Peter Howell, Swinging to the Beat of a Different Drum

Interesting video on the Jive Aces. they are a fabulous group. They recently did a concert for the L. Ron Hubbard centenary at Saint Hill.

A culture is only as great as its dreams, and its dreams are dreamed by artists. — Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard

NEW CANVAS'

Uncle Allan for Japan

Alright, they're finally here, the Uncle Allan prints we've been talking about for almost three weeks (well, mostly on twitter, but we have been talking about them!)
The prints are limited to 100 signed and numbered A3 sized prints on 300 gram fancy card stock, and we're hoping to sell them all.
All the money will go to the Red Cross' relief efforts in Japan, a country we love so, so much, and that was devastated by an earthquake and following tsunami on March 11th 2011.

If you scroll down to the end of this post there's a button that'll take you to our paypal.
Please pick the country you wish to get it shipped to in the dropdown menu, we will ship anywhere.
If you have questions, please write us before purchasing!
The prints are, of course, also for sale at the shop, just remember to call or write before coming by!

If you are interested in purchasing any of Uncle Allan's other prints, check them out here and please send us an email at conspiracyinctattoo@gmail.com before buying, and let us know which other prints you are interested in purchasing, so we can give you a separate shipping quote for the whole thing.
For this occasion only, we will offer a discount on all prints and flash (except the collaboration set with Hunter Spanks) and all the money from those prints will of course be donated as well.

We will ship once a week until the prints are (hopefully!) sold out and the first shipment will go out a week from today.

Please let us know if you have any questions, and thanks for your support!

Uncle Allan for Red Cross, 2011

(Watermark obviously not included)

All signed and ready to go

Please visit these links for other ways to support japan: All for Japan, Yellowblaze Webshop (proceeds from prints and t-shirts will go to relief efforts), I Stand with Japan, Tattooers for Japan, and our buddies at Progression Tattoo in Adelaide, Aus. who are having a walk-in day for japan on April 16th.
The TAM blog has links too, so visit them as well.

Ps. We're still planning on finding more ways to help, so check back later!

Donald Trump Oprah Makeover Possibilities Threaten Presidential Candidacy (Photos)

Does he or doesn't he... only his hairdresser knows for sure...

... want to run for President, that is.

In a pre-election year longing to crown a Republican front-runner, the 2012 campaign is off to a tepid start. Some 2008 also-rans have already stuck toes in the water waiting to see how many fish will take the bait. Judging from the lack of thrashing and hysterical chomping, I'd say it's time to buy better worms.

What better bait than accusing the incumbent President of lying about his birth certificate and of failing to credit Bill Ayers with writing "Dreams of My Father"? The new challenger enters from left field. Talk about starting a feeding frenzy, the media is lapping it up. It seems like every day he comes out swinging, using fighting words to ratchet up the ante.

China is kicking our patooties. Obama is a fraud. Our Constitution is being attacked from within. Blah, blah, blah, stop blaming Bush.

Who has the cajones to so blatantly bait the media?

None other than The Donald, as in Donald Trump, as in Stirring-Up-The-Pot-For-Free-Publicity-Is-Only-An-Outrageous-Sound-Bite-Away Trump. The wheeling-dealing, self-promoting, self-indulgent multi-bazillionaire is, supposedly, seriously considering a run for the presidency. He and his syncophants probably figure if Ronald Reagan could successfully make the transition from Hollywood to Washington so can The Donald. They may be forgetting that Reagan successfully governed the State of California before entering the national arena. Running a real estate empire and firing C-List celebrities on TV are certainly impressive, but not equivalent to running America. This is where the big kids play.

Is Trump ready for national service? Or would his tendency to create controversy taint the civility of the Oval Office?

At least one person thinks Trump could use a makeover, particularly when it comes to his "double combover." President Obama supporter and Queen of Talk Oprah Winfrey has offered to restyle The Donald's tresses on her farewell show. No word on whether his camp will accept, but with the entire free world watching Oprah wave a tearful goodbye, how could they refuse? It would be either the publicity coupe of the century or a political boondoggle. No matter. As the saying goes, there's no such thing as bad publicity.

In Trump's case, however, his hair could be the exception. Just imagine the possibilities:

Justin Hartley Trump

Nicolas Cage Trump

Michael Bolton Trump

David Beckham Cornrows Trump

David Beckham Fauxhawk Trump

Jude Law Trump

Anderson Cooper Trump

GI Joe Trump

Bad Catskills Combover and Dye Job Trump

Ridiculously High Forehead Trump

Look, I know these artistic renderings are horrible. That's because they weren't shopped. You try matching Trump's complexion to a man with attractive hair. It's darn near impossible.

I sure hope Oprah has an easier time transforming Trump into presidential material.

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Tattoos I Know: Beth's Ink Ushers in the New Baseball Season

Well, folks, it's March 31, which means several things, First and foremost, after a long, cold winter, and a rough start to spring, baseball season starts today. And although, the last time I checked, there was a 70% chance of rain for the New York Yankees home opener against the Detroit Tigers today, baseball fans everywhere are just a tad excited that their team's 162 game-long drama is about to begin.

So, it seemed fitting that we share this tattoo, belonging to our cousin Beth:

Photo by Melanie Cohen

Beth is a diehard Yankees fan and she got this inked on September 16, 2005. For the record, the Yankees beat the Toronto Blue Jays north of the border that day 11-10 thanks, in part, to two Robinson Cano home runs and Mariano Rivera's 40th save of the year.

This is one of Beth's three tattoos, a fact not lost on me, as I have been wanting to post her ink on the site ever since we started back in 2007. However, we just never got around to it and this photo was shot last June in New Jersey by my wife, Melanie, at another cousin's baby shower. I thought, at the time, that we would save this picture for the day the Yankees won the World Series, but last year that ambition fell short in the ALCS. So we saved it for Opening Day, instead.

The tattoo was done by Thomi Hawk at K & B Tattooing & Piercing in Hightstown, New Jersey.

I should also add that, back in August 2007, I was sitting in my seat at PNC Bank Arts Center, between sets, when I noticed a very similar tattoo several rows ahead of me. I thought, "Man, that tattoo looks just like Beth's, and in the same spot [on her upper right back] too!" Of course, it was Beth, and we were both unaware that we were attending the show. And to think I spotted her in all that humanity by noticing her tattoo!

I mentioned at the top of the post that it being March 31, meant several things. Aside from Opening Day, it's also opening day for the inkspotting season, as far as I'm concerned. Posts have been few and far between over the past few months and that's about to change. Tomorrow begins National Poetry Month, and we will be embarking on our third annual Tattooed Poets Project: 30 days of tattoos from poets across the country. And, I will assume, that I'll be having regular Tattoosday encounters, which will reappear in May, throughout the month.

Play ball!

Thanks again to Beth for sharing her cool patriotic Yankees tattoo with us here on Tattoosday!

*

booking appointment info.

Vi har en lång väntelista och

det är många som vill bli tatuerade,

och pga att många bokade kunder inte

dyker upp på avtalad tid utan att avboka sin/sina tider,

kommer vi att ta en depositionsavgift på 300 kronor

vid varje bokningstillfälle.

Bokar man flera tider vid ett å samma tillfälle

kommer bara en depositionsavgift att debiteras.

Depositionen dras av det totala priset

efter avslutad sista sittning.

För att återfå sin deposition krävs att man avbokar

minst 48 timmar innan avtalad tid.

MVH

Tomas & John

There´s A LOT of people

standing in line to get tattooed,

And due to many people not showing up

without canceling there appointments

we will start to take a deposit fee of 300 kronor

when booking your appointment.

If you have multiple sessions

only one deposit fee will be charged.

The deposit fee will be withdrawn

from the total price after your last session.

To regain your deposit a cancelation must be

recived 48 hours prior to booked appointment.

1 st april we will start booking appointments for may and june.

You can call us at the shop 0920-67073,

but if you want make sure that you get an appointment

its always best to come by the shop 1 april

/ Tomas & John

Charlie Sheen!

In his own words, "I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available. If you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body." Maybe he didn't die from this dangerous drug (street name CS), but it still had an impact on him physically.

Hats off to the end of Charlie's career!

Did Knut the Polar Bear Die from Overexposure?

He entered the world to international acclaim, but where are all the "oooohers" and "aaaaahers" now?

On March 19, 2011, Knut, the irresistibly cute and cuddly polar bear, staggered and drowned in his cage at The Berlin Zoo, never to be heard from again. That’s right. As onlookers watched (and filmed) in horror, darling Knut, barely 4-years old, bit the big one.

This is the same furball whose birth made callous news people blubber and fawn like adoring grandparents. No one could get enough of Knut. His adorable little smushy face graced the cover of every newspaper and popular magazines. Heck, his first video may still be going viral.

At least now Zsa Zsa Gabor can sleep easy. With Knut’s death, the bubbe-meise of celebrities dying in threes has come to fruition. First Jane Russell, then Dame Elizabeth Taylor, and now chick-magnet Knut. To be fair, Taylor completed the trilogy, but news of Knut’s death traveled slowly. I doubt Gabor realizes Taylor’s death actually bought her a reprieve.

A neurologist who studied Knut’s brain scans claims he died from an epileptic fit. I wonder if something more sinister is to blame. Neglect? Abuse? Failure to keep his magnetic mug in front of the cameras? I can’t remember the last time I watched a video of the fluffy charmer.

Perhaps to some degree we are all to blame for Knut’s untimely demise. The poor wretch died the same way he was born – on film – but what about those brief years in between? Who was filming then? As he aged from the height of "Knut-Mania" to the dirty brown punching bag of female cage mates, zoo attendance waned. And so it seems did interest in Knut.

Some have speculated it was the stress of stardom that did him in. Maybe, like so many child stars who turn from darling to dull right before our eyes and lose their careers in the process, Knut was a has-been who saw the handwriting on the wall. Maybe the poor dear simply decided to go out on his own terms, turning in circles and plopping into the abyss.

Hopefully, Knut is now in a better place, a place where cameras roll day and night and he is the bright shining star never fading from glory.

Then again, the limelight is never as glamorous as it seems.

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Celebrity Apprentice Recap: Dionne Warwick Makes a Cowardly Exit from Boardroom

Article first published as TV Open Thread: Celebrity Apprentice Recap - Dionne Warwick Makes a Cowardly Exit from Boardroom on Blogcritics.

This week, the women’s team began the task with fairly low morale. Having lost two weeks in a row, the team was down to only seven members. A well-stocked team could let lightweights LaToya, Dionne, and Hope slide, but clearly the women had their work cut out for them before they stepped out of the gate.

The teams were tasked with creating a 30-second commercial showcasing the ACN videophone. ACN executives stressed the importance of creating an emotional connection rather than focusing on function. The women, led by Nene, immediately centered on family, creating a spot where a young girl in France communicated with loving parents in America. Academy Award Winner Marlee took the role of the mother, while Grammy Winner Dionne stepped up as French host mother. The women made an excellent video.

However, ACN sales reps would select the best video, not company executives. The men saw this as an opportunity to "think outside the box" and roll the dice. They created an edgy concept called "Tommy Gets Engaged," a gag that "went for the gay angle" by casting a make-up-laden Jose in the role of Tommy’s fiancé.

"It’s either gonna go over real big when we deliver the punch line or it’s gonna go down badly," said PM Lil Jon. "Gay Jose" was their punch line, the fiancé presented at the end. On the other end of the videophone, Gary played a doddering grandfather clad only in black socks and bathrobe. During filming, he accidentally flashed "Big Wednesday" to the camera. Cut! Edit.

For the fourth week in a row, almost everyone on Team Backbone accused Gary of being difficult to manage. "Gary lives in his own world and has no consideration for other people’s space," complained Meat. Jon did his best to manage the distraction. "Just relax," Jon kept saying to Gary. "I am relaxed," Gary shot back. "Okay, then sit down," ordered Jon. Judging by the promotion for next week’s show, Gary better watch his back.

Same goes for LaToya. Supposedly due to LASIC surgery, LaToya suffered bouts of blurry vision. Nene assigned her the role of timekeeper then complained her 11-year old could handle such an easy job. LaToya was taken aback and defended her work for the team. LaToya is clearly a drag on the team, despite the praise heaped upon her last week.

Nene also complained about Dionne, saying she left the task too early. While the rest of Team A.S.A.P. patiently hung around in the editing room, Dionne hugged Nene goodbye. "Oh, you’re leaving?" Nene asked as she hugged her back. "Well, bye. Thank you," she said as Dionne exited.

"My body said, girlfriend, it’s time for you to lay down. And being that I am the matriarch of the group, I felt I deserved a little bit of a reprieve," Dionne crowed privately to the camera. Oh brother, did that ever come back to bite her in the patooty.

Yes, the men gambled on their concept, hoping executives wouldn’t be too offended, and won the task in a 53-47 vote. Everyone on Team Backbone praised Jon’s leadership abilities and cheered his $40K win for The United Methodist Children’s Home. The women also praised Nene as PM. It wasn’t that her team failed – the vote was very close – rather, the men’s big gamble paid off.

But even before a victor was announced the women were at each other’s throats. At one point, Nene cried.

"What is going on with the women’s team? It’s the third week in a row you’ve lost. There has to be a reason for it. Who is your weakest player? Who could your team do without?" demanded The Donald.

It took a while for the claws to come out, but eventually, Nene and Hope pointed the finger at Dionne, while Star and Marlee fingered LaToya. After their very public feuding, I’m surprised Nene didn’t dump on Star. Then Dionne did something stupid. Just like Niki the week before, she essentially accepted the blame for her team’s loss and agreed that she should be fired.

"I seem to be the one who has no problem saying what I have to say and that may be a bit intimidating," speculated Dionne. "It seems that everyone wants to get rid of Dionne," she continued, referring to herself in third person. "If that’s the way you feel, it’s cool." The men, watching from the waiting room, were stunned.

It took prodding from Star and The Donald to get Dionne to change her tune. Star blamed the team’s repeated losses on women who won’t stay and fight for their charities. The Donald agreed that Dionne was basically quitting.

"I can go forward," protested Dionne, "I don’t want to go, but everyone wants me gone."

"Not true," countered Ivanka. "There are people on the team who want LaToya fired."

But The Donald would not let Dionne off the hook. "It’s too late. You did the wrong thing," he admonished, "Dionne, you’re fired." Once all the women were out of the boardroom, he turned to Don, Jr. and Ivanka, saying, "She looked me in the eye and challenged me to fire her. No one gets away with that."

Lesson learned. Do not accept blame unless you’re prepared to be fired. Dionne acted like a whimpering fool, trying to go out as a class act, then changing her mind midway, trying to claw her way back in. It doesn’t work that way in Trump Nation. No one who agrees to be fired walks out of the boardroom unscathed.

Dionne had the nerve to call Nene a coward, but the one with the big yellow stripe running down her back was Dionne as she walked to the elevator.

Read My Other Season 4 Reviews:

Lisa Rinna Thrown Under the Bus

Niki Taylor Loses Battle of Airheads

Nene Leakes Rips LaToya Jackson a New One

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