Malibu Fires Send Mel Gibson Packing

I don't get it. Don't Malibu firemen understand that some stars don't need to be evacuated from encroaching flames?

Yep, it's true. The wildfires have spread to Malibu. However, unlike mere mortals, some people are more at home among the terrifying flames. Some, who have made pacts with you know who, truly relish the searing heat, attendant mayhem, and mind numbing destruction. Oh yes, there are a few.

To understand what I mean, take a good hard look at the subject matter of Mel's latest projects. Gore, torture, mutilation -- it's all there in living technicolor. When people begin to see Mel for who he really is -- a biggot spewing booze swilling hack with tons of money and no real friends to show for it -- they'll understand my disdain.

There are more important things in life than having gobs of money and a copious lifestyle. Like knowing when to keep yer trap shut. Mel must have missed that lesson. Probably too busy pitching whatever.