Madonna's an Old Fart, Sheridan Bolton have No Heart, and HBO Series 'Entourage' Gets Off to a Great Start

Between last week and this week, life went horribly awry. Both the dryer and the upstairs toilet broke, leaving a small army's worth of smelly towels and rugs. Got a sunburn to die for while recuperating from a face first dive beneath the sea. Slam went the boogie board as my nose followed bloodied and bruised. Oh, and there's no justice in America. Try sitting in a courtroom all day pleading for mercy only to have the stinking judge throw the book and kitchen sink at one very misguided relative. Despite my best intentions to make this a daily, once again, it's the weekly Wrap of Crap.



Sticky and sweet may have deeper significance for popfart Madonna. Explicitly lewd love letters and photographs expressing her penchant for spanking may be part of a February exhibition entitled "Simply Madonna: Materials of the Girl." From the same slut who brought us the offensively raunchy coffee table book SEX, comes the threat of legal action if former lover Jame Albright puts her oh so private materials on display.

Oh hooray. Speaking of Madonna, we can all stop worrying about her very public feud with Sir Elton John. It's over. The Goodbye Yellow Brick Road crooner was spotted along with musician Bono enthusiastically clapping at her Sticky and Sweet performance in Nice, France.

It's deja vu all over again. Nicolette Sheridan and Michael Bolton have once again called it quits. The couple dated for five years before ending their relationship in 1997, then became engaged in March, 2006. Seems to me like a revolving door of domestic tranquility with someone balking at walking down the aisle.

Los Angeles based 220 Laboratories is suing actress Kate Hudson for revealing its secret hair care ingredient to competitor David Babaii. Hudson allegedly made a verbal agreement to promote the company's line of products before letting the cat out of the bag. A representative for Hudson denies all accusations.

By now, everyone knows about the trials and tribulations of "Valkyrie," the expected Christmas Day turkey. Twelve extras are suing Tom Cruise and his production company United Artists for $11 million, alleging negligence and personal injury. The cast members suffered broken bones, cuts, pulled ligaments and bruises when the side panel of an antique German army truck flew open. Plaintiffs' lawyer claims the truck had not been properly secured. Might explain why Cruise and former business partner Paula Wagner recently parted ways.

He knows they're out there. That's probably why The X-Files and Californication star David Duchovny entered a rehab facility for treatment of a sex addiction. Never mind whatever threats of divorce may or may not have been made by fellow actor and wife, Tea Leoni. Both parties have pleaded for privacy during this extremely painful time for their family.

Fans who attended Neil Diamond's Ohio State University concert on Monday, August 25th may request a refund from now until September 5th. The "Sweet Caroline" singer suffered acute laryngitis, making his voice sound raspy during the performance.

The Broadway production of Grease will get another infusion of American Idol lubricant. Season 5 performer Ace Young will play Kenickie from September 9th through January 18th, joining the cast just as Season 5 winner Taylor Hicks exits his role as teen angel.

Illegal downloads will land you in jail. Honestly, they're not worth it. At the very least, don't be like this poor sap. If you ever need a deterrent, look at the FBI turning the life of 27-year old Kevin Cogill upside down. The blogger, who is suspected of streaming songs from the unreleased Guns N' Roses album Chinese Democracy, must pay a $10,000 fine and appear for a September 17th preliminary hearing to answer charges of felony copyright infringement.

Attention all tweeny boppers and the parents who lavish them with love and affection. Verizon Wireless and Samsung are running a contest with the top prize of a Bahamas vacation with The Jonas Brothers. For details, visit the official site.

The HBO hit series Entourage will team up in a big way with Virgin America. From now until the end of September, flights from New York to Las Vegas will be renamed "Entourage Air." Lucky fans on the September 4th flight will receive free swag and get to watch the premiere. The airline will also rename their first class seating "Entourage Class."

Jennifer Aniston Stars in Dee Plump-Up

Vat to do ven da hol' vorld votches vit bated breath?

As da fling vit John Mayer vas ending, dis vas dee question plaguing "unlucky een love" Jennifer Aniston.


Solution?

"Ve are goinck to plump... (clap) ...YOU UP!"

Just days before Aniston's publicist announced the end of her summer fling with John Mayer, Star Magazine snapped a puffy cupids bow peppering her pout. Preparation for the inevitable crush of media, no doubt. What better way to compensate for looks of pity and mocking text messages than with an eye-shocking fakeover?

Makeover? Pshaw! So yesterday. Only pure unadulterated collagen injections will do for the heart-broken pouts of Hollywood.

Saving face must be Aniston's primary concern in the ensuing media frenzy. Circling the wagons, confidant spinmeisters set the record straight over who did the dumping.

It was 'Jen who decided to move on,' says an unreported source. 'She is very fond of John and has thought he might be the one. She finds him funny, sexy and very talented. ... Plus he understands all the aspects of living in a fishbowl. But in the final analysis, she just got tired of his roving eye.'

Whew. That takes a load off my mind. So glad the infidelity precipitating her decision wasn't Mayer's way of taking the easy way out.

But, hey, bursting Aniston's healing bubble wouldn't be cool. Not while she's so obviously tender and vulnerable. Taking solace in being the dumper rather than the dumpee is a far better way of coping than going under the knife.

Why bother when so much of her is already plastic?

[Source]

Relationships 101 Refresher Course for Jennifer Aniston

Whoopsie. We warned Jen not to push too hard. Look at the mess they've made. Time to bring in the vampires. Sure hope she can get her money back on all the place cards and party favors.

Because it's over, folks. Finis. Au revoir. Move along. T'ain't noth'n mo' to see. And no rubber-necking neither.

Not like anyone couldn't see this one coming a mile away.

Love and politics generally don't mix, but this is one time gentle genuflecting could have made a significant difference. Clearly, Jen and John started off very hot and heavy, steamy one might say. For a while, it looked like Aniston might have finally hooked her big fish and started reeling him in.

One minute they looked so cute together, then snap. They're done.

What happened?

Hey, I'm no insider, but I've seen this play before. So many times in fact, I could recite it in my sleep. Boy goes ga-ga. Boy pursues girl. Girl not sure. Girl plays hard to get. Boy plays harder. Boy woos girl. Girl falls in deep. Voila. There they are. Just the two of them. Both in deep. Both feeling the love. Both making the connection. Why would boy pull out?

I have my theories.

Some men are natural players. They're simply not commitment material. Oh, they may come around some day, like when they look in the mirror and see something smelly and wrinkly staring back. That's when they start thinking about family and legacy, and who's going to take care of them when they're sick and tasting like grandpa. But until then, it's all hands on deck. Fast and loose. Strike while the iron is hot. They tomcat around because they can, because they're personable and attractive. They're born lady killers. Inside, these men are trouble. Toy with them if you will, ladies, but don't think about getting a ring. Just whisper, "where is this going" and they're flying out the door. This type of man is fabulous arm candy, an ego booster, and a great escape into guilty pleasures, but not much more.

Next.

Some men need a certain kind of woman. They may not be exactly sure who that woman is, like a know it when they see it type of thing, but at least they have good intentions. These are the kind of men who need to lose a woman to know what they're missing. I hate to give this secret away because the truth is I could write a book and probably make a million dollars, but what the hey. Who has time to write a book? I barely have time to blog. So, here it is. The secret. For all the millions of women out there desperately trying to find the man of their dreams...

Move on.

You heard me. Get packing.

When a man and a woman are both in deep and bells are ringing and everything is so smooth the woman can't wait to make mooney eyes over coffee, that's the time to enjoy. Revel. Don't think about a future. Because the minute a woman starts talking rings and commitment, that's the minute this type of man starts planning his escape. He's not sure, he starts to feel boxed in, he wants more time, and before anyone can say "Gyllenspoon" three times fast, he's out of there. Maybe not literally but figuratively, leaving the woman alone and pruney in a big pool of love without a towel.

The only way to keep the bells ringing in that kind of relationship is to live in the moment. At some point, someone will envision a future together and want to talk about it. If it's the man, great. That's the way it should be. Women shouldn't have to chase after men. It just isn't the natural order of the universe.

A woman who isn't holding the cards in a relationship holds nothing. So, if it's the woman who first starts envisioning the future, starts dreaming about it and throwing out less than subtle hints to no avail, it's time for that woman to move on. Make plans. Get out the Rolodex. Oh, still be nice and occasionally take the man's phone calls, but get out. Date other people. Stop showing up at his concerts, that sort of thing.

If it's meant to be, he'll come running after, ready to talk turkey. That's when the woman should move in for the kill. Get a ring and set a date. If not, just keep moving on. Brush him off. Eventually the love will fade. And it won't be half as painful.

Sorry, but I know what I'm talking about, Sure, some women are with men who don't fall into either of the above two categories. Don't think other categories don't exist. Let's just say if a woman is with such a man, she's already holding all the cards in that relationship.

'Nuff said.

But getting back to Jennifer Aniston. This boring lecture in Relationships 101 was actually meant for her benefit. Not that I ever expect her to read it. Just working through my own relationship issues here.

Like getting someone besides me to say something.

Hello? I know you're out there. I can hear you breathing. Would you care to respond?

Jewel Elopes, Osteen Trial Plays Race Card, and Miss Universe Models Nude

Okay, we've succumbed to the pressure. You clamoured for mundane celebrity gossip and we're going to give it to you. Introducing a brand new feature here at The Spewker, The Weekly Wrap of Crap.

Jay-Z will not confirm or deny his marriage to Beyonce even though US Magazine caught him out and about with a wedding ring. Mr. Carter considers personal matters off limits to the news. In other words, NOYDB. Get the full story at Vibe. In related news, cosmetics giant L'Oreal denies lightening Beyonce's skin in recent print ads.

Celebrity pastor Joel Osteen's wife is fighting to keep 10% of her net worth in an ongoing civil suit. Continental flight attendant Maria Brown is suing Victoria Osteen for assaulting her over a drink spill. The Osteens left the flight, leading to a $3,000 fine by the FAA. Jurors audibly gasped as Osteen's attorney accused Plaintiff's witness of testifying by playing the race card. The ugliness continues in a Houston, Texas courtroom.

19-year old Joshua Allen is the Season 4 winner of So You Think You Can Dance. Read yesterday's spoiler alert at Entertainment Weekly.

Harvey Weinstein shoved Catherine Zeta-Jones' latest release under the bus. His new distribution company Third Rail Releasing dumped Death Defying Acts in the UK after last week's dismal U.S. box office receipts. The film opened in two theaters and made less than $4,000.

Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty continue getting hot and steamy. Despite reports of reconciliation with his wife, Getty and Miller were spotted together Wednesday in a Malibu Country Mart shopping center.

Tons of celebrity divorces in the works. Dixie Chicks Emily Robison finalized her divorce with crooner Charlie Robison. Tennis star Pam Shriver filed for divorce from actor George Lazenby. Cynthia Rodriguez filed for divorce from New York Yankee's star Alex Rodriguez. A-Rod shot back with a request for enforcement of their prenup. Pro-wrestler Ric Flair may be headed for divorce after muddled reports surfaced about wife Tiffany filing papers. Boston Red Sex owner John Henry reached an out of court settlement with wife Peggy Sue Henry. And actor Morgan Freeman and wife Myrna Colley-Lee filed for divorce after 24 years of marriage. The two were separated before Freeman's serious car accident and subsequent hospitalization. Freeman was released from the hospital sometime after 12 noon yesterday.

Elvis' famous peacock jumpsuit sold for a record $300,000 at auction. It was the highest amount ever bid for Elvis memorabilia. Daughter Lisa Marie is pregnant with twins.

David and Victoria Beckham, Kate Moss, Liam Gallagher, and Patsy Kensit made the short list of sixteen contenders vying for the title of "most influential magazine cover off all time."

Singer Jewel and longtime rodeo star boyfriend Ty Murray eloped, surprising tabloids after living together for more than ten years.

The new Miss Universe, Dayana Mendoza, will not lose her title for modeling jewelry in the nude. The controversial photos were taken before she competed for the crown.

Denise Richards is an "unappealing reality star" and her E! show faces possible cancellation. Viewers are fleeing in droves after the Charlie Sheen-ex used foul language on her show and publicly battled Sheen in an ugly custody battle for their two toddler daughters.

Jamie Lynn Chews Out Paparazzi

Jamie Lynn reportedly kicked out her baby daddy and had choice words for the paps.

So what if this parody is the closest we'll ever get to a Jamie Lynn Spears interview? The stress of raising a baby without a wedding ring must be getting to the poor dear. How else to explain throwing fiance Casey out of the house after snooping around for (and finding) contact information for other women on his cell phone and computer?

Jamie Lynn and Casey are back together ... for now. But I wouldn't be surprised if their OK Magazine spread had anything to do with it. A clause in their contract probably requires the diaper duty duo to look blissfully happy ... at least until the issue clears newsstands.

Katie Holmes Goes Molly and Mo' Gossip

To beef up the profile of our virtual Hollywood correspondent Moan Quivers, we're starting a new Monday morning weekend wrap of tacky gossip and related oddities. No relation to celebrity politics whatsoever. Moani needs more to do around here.

Oh, oh, I'm so excited. I finally get my own regular weekly feature. This is such a step up from that tired pink bot. Thanks, peoples! I'll try not to let you down.

IT'S MOAN QUIVERS !! Wow. I'm getting slightly misty-eyed. Play it, Bruno!

No, wait. That was my other gig. Ah-hem, moving on.

These Aussie guys are party animals. Haimish and Andy, get it? You'd have to be really old. These two aren't. Feeling a tad kindred spirit with young Andy, if that is indeed his real name.

Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom continue to deny rumors of a break-up. Kissy-kissy. Next time don't be so public when cozying up to the grease.

Peek-a-boo Nahla Ariela Aubrey (aka Halle Berry's daughter). Oh, show her blink'n face already! That kid's gonna be driving a car before we get a good gawk at her.

Britney Spears would be meshuganeh to poo-poo her parents now. She looks better at this Generation Rescue gala than she has in years. Brit's back in the recording studio and taking a stab at a comeback. Now if she would drop that hideous paparazzo and date some normal people, I might have to stalk other places for dirt.

Daisy, sweetheart, no doubt you are the inspiration for this incredibly funny SNL skit. Dave, darling, there are better scraps in the dumpster.

I feel like I'm reading a spy novel. "The departure began at 3:50 a.m. .... minibus with darkened windows ... sudden spray of light ... very quickly organizing themselves inside ... 'Pouf!' they were gone." No wonder the French reported the birth of Brangelina's twins as a major American news event.

Katie Holmes has been channeling her inner Molly Ringwald. TomKat must be on the prowl for Hilary Swank roles.

Ooooo. Kelly Osbourne engaged? Doooo tell!

Dumkopf. If you hadn't pressured him to marry you in the first place you'd still be together. Sarah pines for George. Duh.

Speaking of pressure, if Jennifer Aniston knows what's good for her, she'll stop swooning all mooney-eyed. Dog Norman has taken an intense disliking to new beau, John Mayer, for good reason, I'm sure.

One of our favorite producer/directors Brett Ratner will be working with his Rush Hour trois star Chris Tucker again. The two plan to bring a big tell all Sinatra biopic to the big screen.

Brenda's back. Shannen Doherty will return for multiple guest spots on the new Beverly Hills 90210 spin-off, 90210. That muffled sound you hear is Aaron Spelling turning over in his grave.

So... ya think they should expand this spot to a daily?

Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman End Five Year Romance

It's official. Comedians Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman have finally called it quits, ending a five year relationship that never quite reached the next level.

Sadly, we saw that one coming a mile away.

Here's to clean breaks and fresh starts.

Hollywood Magic Masks Sarah Silverman Jimmy Kimmel Relationship Blues

Jimmy KimmelJimmy Kimmel Sarah SilvermanCelebrity Gossip Sarah SilvermanJimmy Kimmel LiveJimmy Kimmel Video


What happens when, in Adam Sandler-speak, "one fine looking Jew" vegetarian and meta-bigot comedienne reaches the end of the line in a five year dalliance with an Italian meat cooking Christmas loving late night TV show host?

They milk it as the biggest free publicity stunt in the anals of show biz lore, packaged as one of the most hilarious spoofs ever played by a We Are the World A-list cast of characters formerly sidelined by the WGA.



It's side-slapping to watch the big names who participated. And yet somehow, I can't help but feel badly for Kimmel and Silverman. Clearly, something is whacky in relationshipland. Apparently, I'm not the only one feeling their pain.

Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel began dating shortly after she stepped on the stage of a Hugh Hefner roast and lambasted Kimmel as "fat" with "no charisma." Lovely way to kick off a romance. Tender and gentle in an "I'll stomp you so don't mess with me" kind of way.

In November 2005, Silverman flirted with other men at the wrap party for her money-making movie, Jesus is Magic. Kimmel made fart jokes at Silverman's expense.

The couple was living together in May 2007 when Kimmel trotted Silverman out on Jimmy Kimmel Live. He outed her unshaven legs, complained about farts, and wondered aloud about the red stuff on her lips (it was lipstick) as if she had never before worn any in his presence. This, mind you, as a build-up to Silverman's famous skewer of Paris Hilton at the MTV Movie Awards and simultaneous Maxim cover debut. Silverman was poised to hit the big time and was coming into her own, yet Kimmel didn't seem particularly enthused or proud of his significant other's accomplishments.

Silverman either has an amazing sense of humor or she's the biggest patsy who ever walked the face of the planet. If my boyfriend treated me like that on national TV, I would have taken his puckered lips at the end of the segment and pushed them down his pudgy throat.

But what appears to be the final straw was yet to come. Kimmel publicly embarrassed Silverman on his show in October 2007 by insinuating she was a man and nipping her suggestion of marriage in the bud. At one point, Silverman dropped to her knees in mock proposal while Kimmel tried desperately to cut away to commercial. Nervous banter aside, the only one laughing was the audience.

I'm afraid what we are now witnessing is the beginning of the end. Silverman fired the first shot in January 2008 by getting Kimmel to play a video in honor of his fifth anniversary show. Her professed love affair with People's Sexiest Man Alive, Matt Damon, was an immediate Internet sensation, registering millions of hits and quickly raising her profile around the blogosphere. This week, in the spirit of I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, Kimmel countered with his own musical spoof, professing undying love and covert shtuping with Ben Affleck, Damon's cohort and confidant.

Both Damon and Affleck are married to women and each of them is raising a child. Damon also helps raise a step-daughter. And as long as people want to start keeping tabs, the Silverman spoof is a rip-off. Check out Damon in these highlights from Eurotrip. Chalk up one for the Kimmel in this battle of lilting love.



It's wonderful to see the funny folk of Hollywood therapeutically hash out their problems through the production of jocular entertainment. Kind of in the vein of "If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em," Kimmel and Silverman are getting the last laugh on the tabloids and I say "good for them."

But what I see lurking behind their side-splitting antics is far from good. A sad spectacle of romance on the rocks. To their ingenious credit, these videos are the talk of the tabloids rather than their more obvious relationship blues.

Maybe that's just as well.

Post Oscar Celebrity Legal Briefs

With the glow of Oscars fading in the west, it's reality check time. Oh yes, even the stars have their share of legal woes. Submitted for your approval, a sampling of today's civil matters in the world of entertainment

In the "Here We Go Again" department, Pamela Anderson is seeking an annulment from husband number "I can't keep track anymore" Rick Salomon. Can't imagine why the Baywatch babe is claiming fraud, although what did she expect getting married on a whim?

Jessica Seinfeld's ex, Eric Nederlander, is a two-time loser. He's agreed to vacate the "hate nest" of wife number two just weeks after the birth of their first child. Apparently, Number Two's training as a child psychologist was all for naught.

The sad saga of Britney Spears will remain in state court. An attorney claiming to represent the embattled pop princess tried to move the case to federal court by alleging violation of her constitutional rights. By the time all the lawyers are done picking apart this pie, there may not be much fame and fortune left for her to squander.

The Maccas have been told to clear their calendars for March 17th. That's when a British judge is tenatively scheduled to award Heather Mills a financial settlement in the couple's hotly contested divorce. Sir Paul had hoped to keep the lid on the details, but refused to buckle to m'lady's demands. A public airing of their dirty laundry will likely occur when the judge issues his final ruling.

After having his day in court on charges of defamation, paparazzo Jamie Fawcett was ordered to pay legal fees to the Sun-Herald. A jury found the newspaper liable for defamation, however, the paper called Nicole Kidman as a witness and successfully established it had only reported the truth.
A bank is foreclosing Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch. The King of Pop has until March 19th to pay off an overdue balance of about $25M.

Rambo wants revenge. Anthony Pellicano, the private investigator scheduled to go on trial for illegally wiretapping the phones of celebrities, intercepted Sylvester Stallone's private calls in February 2002. Although settled, the interceptions occurred about the same time Stallone sued his former business manager over losses related to the Planet Hollywood restaurant chain.

Alfred Beardsley, the memorabilia dealer caught up in the O.J. Simpson snafu, filed suit against Thomas Riccio, the mastermind behind the Simpson TMZ video. Beardsley is claiming unspecified damages for invasion of privacy, fraud, intentional infliction of emotional distress, and unjust enrichment. In September, 2007, Simpson and friends raided Beardsley's Las Vegas hotel room and seized several items Simpson claimed as his own. Criminal charges remain pending.

The John Ritter wrongful death trial is now in its fourth week. The beloved actor's survivors are suing a cardiologist and radiologist for $67M. Many tearfully testified about Ritter's sudden demise, including then co-star Katey Sagal, son Jason Ritter, and personal assistant Jessica Pilch-Samuel.

Countering a copyright case filed by video game maker Capcom, producers of the Dawn of the Dead films are fighting back. MKR President and chief shareholder Richard Rubinstein believes Capcom's Dead Rising video game is a knock-off of key plot elements in the popular movie franchise.

Producer's of America's Hot Musician, the non-profit organization American Youth Symphony, filed suit against Canadian all-female metal band "Kittie" for $5M. Countering show related threats of legal retaliation, the producers hit back claiming tortious interference with business practices, fraud and libel.

THIS JUST IN:
R.I.P. William F. Buckley, sage political commentator, dead at the age of 82.

Celebrities Served 12.31.07

Not wanting to step on the toes of a more prominent site reporting celebrity justice, the following lesser known shorts were gleaned over the past week from a variety of sources:


CRIMINAL MATTERS

Mischa Barton was released on $10,000 bail after being busted for DUI, possession of a controlled substance and marijuana, and driving with a suspended license. Police pulled her over for driving in two lanes of traffic and failing to signal.

Amy Winehouse wants to recant her confession to possession of marijuana. A Norwegian court has summoned the chanteuse to appear on February 29, 2008. Winehouse has seen her share of legal problems over the past year. After her jailed husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, failed a drug test, authorities banned the couple from having personal contact during prison visits. Winehouse was later arrested for interfering with a police investigation.

Thieves stole expensive shoes and a personalized designer robe from Posh Spice a.k.a. Victoria Beckham. The singer is on a reunion tour with her former rock band, The Spice Girls.

Sugababe Amelle Berrabah’s boyfriend, Freddie Fuller, was the victim of a bizarre Christmas Eve machete attack. Police have arrested a 28-year old man on suspicion of attempted murder.

Party promoter, Apollo Holmes, is wanted on aggravated assault charges after brutally beating personal fitness trainer, Darius Miller, outside a Peachtree Street nightclub. Miller remains hospitalized in a coma.


CIVIL ACTIONS

An ex-girlfriend is suing NYPD Blue star, Esai Morales, for transmitting herpes through forcible sex. Lawyers for Elizabeth Mazzocchi say two other women have come forward with similar claims.

Radio broadcasters are livid over a bill working its way through Congress. Traditionally able to play music without paying associated performance fees, the bill would place radio stations on a level playing ground with other music media providers.

The "truth" hurts. Chuck Norris is suing Penguin publishers and author, Ian Spector, for a book he claims unfairly exploits his famous name.

Five children of the late James Brown are challenging their lack of inheritance. Doubts were cast on the validity of the famed singer's last will and testament after earlier drafts indicated conflicting intention.

A devoted "Trekkie" fan is suing Christie’s auction house, claiming a prop auctioned for $6,000.00 was fake. Calls to CBS Paramount were not immediately returned.

A lesser known musician is accusing Baby Shambles rocker, Pete Doherty, of stealing an original song without affording proper credit. We imagine the suit is about money, not fame, although the two sometimes do go hand in hand.

In other disputes concerning failure to authorize, Indie rock groups have filed a class action lawsuit against R.J. Reynolds Tobacco, magazine legend Rolling Stone, and Wenner Media. The bands claim they were not consulted about an illustrated spread which deceptively included advertisements for Camel cigarettes. A number of bands also want public apologies.

AND LOOK WHO'S GETTING OR IS FINALLY DIVORCED,

Dita Von Teese and Marilyn Manson
Valerie Bertinelli and Eddie Van Halen
David Faustino and Andrea Faustino
Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn


CELEBRITY POLITICS

Brian McNamee and Roger Clemens may come to heads over testimony cited in the Mitchell Report. The controversial Report doesn’t stop with athlete outings. Entertainer, Carrot Top, was also cited for unusual body beefing.

Superstar, Will Smith, is angry over the backlash against his misinterpreted Hitler sympathies. For the record, Smith believes "Adolph Hitler was a vile, heinous vicious killer responsible for one of the greatest acts of evil committed on this planet."

Before airing The Pogues' "Fairytale of New York," Britain’s Radio One tried to dub the words "slut" and "faggot" from the 20-year old festive hit. After much public criticism, the song aired as intended.

In a bizarre ban indicative of political strong-arming, The Motion Picture Association of America rejected a movie poster design for Taxie to the Dark Side, a documentary exposing the U.S. government’s use of torture. The MPAA claimed the poster was unacceptable for the eyes of young children.

Poor Wesley Snipes has resorted to playing the race card in his tax evasion dispute. Listen, crybaby, we like your films, but you’ll never get ahead in this world if you keep blaming everything on the color of your skin. The truth will win out in court, and if not, cough up the money and move on.

The White Rose Coalition, a group of anti-war activists who count Cindy Sheehan among its members, is planning a pre-parade demonstration in Pasadena tomorrow. The planned site of the 119th Annual Tournament of Roses Parade is calling for added police protection.

British Airways suffered some political backlash after allowing the minor son of celebrity chef, Gordon Ramsey, to travel on an invalid passport. Other passengers/customers are crying a preferential treatment foul.

One of our favorite actresses, Julia Roberts, spent $30million transforming her personal residence into a lean green eco-efficient machine. Julia became more environmentally conscious after having children. If you've got it, at least flaunt it on something worthwhile.

The Pope denounced Nicole Kidman’s new movie The Golden Compass. Maybe that accounts for the film's tepid earnings at the box office. When The Vatican speaks, the faithful listen.

Private corporation, Clear Channel Outdoor, is teaming with the FBI to display digital "wanted posters." The company operates over 167,000 advertising displays in the U.S.

In crossover news, supermodel, Naomi Campbell, is doing her part to improve humanitarian conditions in Cuba. The British babe turned political reporter plans to interview Fidel Castro during her tour.


CELEBRITY CAUSES

Ever hear of reverse charity? Managers of popular pop duo, The Veronicas, refused to refund a $17,500 booking deposit for a cancelled benefit concert. The proceeds were meant for the family of a boy suffering from brain cancer.

Spencer Pratt of The Hills fame, and actresses Jennifer Love Hewitt and Melissa Joan Hart served Christmas dinner to the homeless at the L.A. Mission.

Singer, Morrissey, donated 20,000 pounds to help restore a youth club immortalized in a song by his former band, The Smiths.

Steven Spielberg and Henry Winkler enlisted the assistance of top talent for the 2007 Home for the Holidays charitable event. This year’s event raised awareness of foster care.

Country legend, Willie Nelson, donated $40K to the town of Vancouver, Washington. The singer wanted to assist special projects in the "town who knew him before he was famous."

Barron Hilton, grandfather of socialite, Paris Hilton, has decided to place the bulk of the Hilton Hotel fortune in a charitable trust benefitting The Conrad N. Hilton Foundation. The foundation supports projects providing clean water in Africa, education for blind children, and housing for the mentally ill.

R&B star, John Legend, knows how to give back. The singer returned home to perform in a "Coming Home Christmas Benefit Concert." Proceeds will fund The Jason Collier Memorial Scholarship Fund.

Corporate retailer, H&M, is teaming up with pop singer, Rihanna and other celebrities to raise money for HIV/Aids.

Wishing all of our readers a very Happy and Healthy New Year!