My how times change.
A mere two years (give or take -- the second video says 8 years but I think that's a reference to the Bush Administration) between the first Wassup video and Wassup 2008 have seen intensified fighting in Iraq, collapse of the housing market, escalating rates of foreclosure, rampantly inflated gas prices, marked downturn in consumer spending, a notable increase in unemployment rates, meltdown on Wall Street, federal bank take overs, and decreasing values for the stock market and 401Ks.
Oh, and did I mention the $700M bailout for rich people?
No need to get pithy. Someone gunning for Obama-Biden made one of the funniest videos of the campaign season. Compare and contrast - you'll see what I mean.
Showing posts with label YouTube WeTube. Show all posts
Showing posts with label YouTube WeTube. Show all posts
Top Ten (Plus Five) John McCain Green Screen Challenges
Despite valliant deterrent efforts by Comedy Central's Steve Colbert, John McCain never waivered on his premise that a green screen would enhance campaign rhetoric.
The same critter serving as boring backdrop during a poorly attended campaign stump made a questionable reappearance at the Republican National Convention. Too bad the Gentleman from Arizon didn't feel the need to reconsider.
Thus Colbert's challenge to enliven McCain's green screen marches on. Her are our top fifteen past entries to lead the charge.
McCain of the Lost Ark
The Day McCain Stood Still
McCain Simpson
Star Trek McCain
Puppet McCain
Blue Suede Shoes Edition
Pulp McCain
Citizen McCain
Ferris Bueller McCain
Oldergeist
McCain Throughout the Ages
Three Stooges McCain
The Wizard of Oz Edition
Numa NuMcCain
McCaining Arizona
Must See TV: The Vetting of Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin, Part I
Focus on GOP vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin continues to dominate the media. Less than sixty days remain before the presidential election.
Exactly who is Sarah Palin? What do we really know about her? Does her personal character matter? What about her associations? Is an inexperienced vice president a trivial or important matter? After all, it's not like Palin is running for president.
Or perhaps because Palin's running mate is the oldest candidate to have ever run for president, the choice of V.P. is significant.
Voters must decide and we're here to lending a helping hand. Culled from the blogosphere, it's the video vetting of Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin.
Party Push for Palin began in March, 2008:
Energy policy and leanings toward Mitt Romney and Ron Paul:
Disingenuous response to V.P. consideration:
Initial failure to appreciate office of vice president:
Flipped on commitment to child rearing and job as governor:
Veiled endorsement of Obama campaign message:
1996 fundraiser and brigadier for Pat Buchanan:
Only supported Forbes in 2000 because Buchanan knocked out of the primary:
Politico alleges anti-Semitism:
Abuse of power probe leaves more questions than answers:
Offer to craft public safety solutions ignored:
Mixing church and state:
"The Architect" explains how Palin fits into McCain strategy:
Live pundit reaction to lack of experience and "being eaten alive" by the media:
Selection process questioned:
Party insider misgivings:
Republican pundits smear behind seemingly closed doors:
"May go down in history as the most peculiar choice for vice president ever."
And of course, celebrity politics:
The vetting continues. Part II as we approach the election.
Exactly who is Sarah Palin? What do we really know about her? Does her personal character matter? What about her associations? Is an inexperienced vice president a trivial or important matter? After all, it's not like Palin is running for president.
Or perhaps because Palin's running mate is the oldest candidate to have ever run for president, the choice of V.P. is significant.
Voters must decide and we're here to lending a helping hand. Culled from the blogosphere, it's the video vetting of Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin.
Party Push for Palin began in March, 2008:
Energy policy and leanings toward Mitt Romney and Ron Paul:
Disingenuous response to V.P. consideration:
Initial failure to appreciate office of vice president:
Flipped on commitment to child rearing and job as governor:
Veiled endorsement of Obama campaign message:
1996 fundraiser and brigadier for Pat Buchanan:
Only supported Forbes in 2000 because Buchanan knocked out of the primary:
Politico alleges anti-Semitism:
Abuse of power probe leaves more questions than answers:
Offer to craft public safety solutions ignored:
Mixing church and state:
"The Architect" explains how Palin fits into McCain strategy:
Live pundit reaction to lack of experience and "being eaten alive" by the media:
Selection process questioned:
Party insider misgivings:
Republican pundits smear behind seemingly closed doors:
"May go down in history as the most peculiar choice for vice president ever."
And of course, celebrity politics:
The vetting continues. Part II as we approach the election.
50 Cent Files Lawsuit Tellling Taco Bell Why It Should Pay More
50 Cent is well on his way to setting a new world record.
Not for the number of lawsuits filed by the same sorry you-know-what rapper claiming infringement of intellectual property rights. Naw, Fiddy is about to grab the brass ring for all-time record number of news organizations running the same sorry you-know-what AP story describing his lame lawsuit against Taco Bell.
Just goes to show no one really wants to spend any time doing an in-depth piece on this poo.
In fact, his lawsuit against Yum Brands, Inc. (YUM), owner of the popular Taco Bell chain, may go down in history as one of the most sorry you-know-what meritless pieces of groundless drivel ever filed in a U.S. District Court. Can't wait to see the fallout from this one and just hoping those Yummy suits know how to file a super-sized counterclaim for utterly baseless blather.
I mean, how many times am I supposed to read,
Thank heaven for a slight amount of originality.
If anyone in the world has actually seen the offending advertisement, they're doing an amazing job of keeping it off the Internet. I can't say for certain, but I'm willing to lay odds it's in the style of other publicized open letters, none of which could easily be characterized as an unauthorized advertisment. As long as the ad didn't contain Fiddy's likeness or copyrighted material, Yummy is in the clear.
As for providing a copy of the open letter to news outlets before sending it off to Fiddy, what's the harm? Does he really think that's going to prove Taco Bell didn't intend to make good on its offer? That they were staging a sly publicity stunt?
Uh, yeah, good luck with that argument. Sorry, but it isn't going to fly. I wouldn't be surprised if the judge laughed Fiddy's sorry you-know-what straight out of court.
Oooo. Four million dollars claimed, shakedown for one. He must be down to his last "fiddy" cents if he's going down this lane. And the ridicule he claims is everywhere on the Internet? Let's just say it's less about Taco Bell using his image without permission and more about his sorry you-know-what performances at rich kids' Bar Mitzvahs and sorry you-know-what albums with the same tired you-know-what lyrics. Fiddy has milked getting shot so many times even his fans are sick of listening to him. In other words, his fans were calling him a sellout long before Taco Bell came along.
Loss of his fan base, disappointing album sales, a suspicious fire, massive legal bills connected to the controversy with his baby momma. A culmination of problems like this could easily take its toll.
Fiddy should have made good on his vow to leave the recording business rather than become fodder for the 'bloids. I almost feel sorry for him, then get angry thinking about his lawsuit clogging up the court system.
Fiddy's odds of winning this lawsuit are so astronimically low as to make me question the motives of his legal team. Lawsuits like this give lawyers a bad name. Principled lawyers would have talked their client out of such nonsense, but then nothing surprises me when it comes to celebrities.
I'm not into fast food so it took a short while to get up to speed, but from what I can see, a fast food rap video caught wildfire a couple years back. Since then, hordes of aspiring rappers have taken their lyrics to the street, pulling into drive-through lines and rapping away. Taco Bell capitalized on the craze by crafting a "Why Pay More" ad campaign and reducing the cost of certain menu items to under a dollar.
Smart marketing or foreshadowing SNAFU?
Some suit whose job is probably now on the line ratcheted up the ad campaign to create more buzz. An open letter to down and out Fiddy was a win-win idea with virtually no downside. Fiddy's career would have benefited. On the other hand, waves of negativity had already rippled through the blogosphere, charging the ad campaign with racial insensitivity. At that point, leaving well enough alone might have been a good idea, but corporate is not the type to sit on its laurels.
The First Amendment protects a published open letter that doesn't otherwise infringe on intellectual property rights. Even then Fiddy's claims might be difficult to prove, especially alleged damages of four million dollars. If for some crazy reason this lawsuit moves forward, 50 Cent can expect to lose a lot more in lawyer fees than he could ever expect to gain.
To illustrate the lawsuit's frivolity, I'll leave you with a slew of videos mimicking the popular spoof that likely started it all. If Fiddy thinks Taco Bell's "Why Pay More" campaign was somehow modeled after him or his rap music, maybe it's because his sorry you-know-what lawyers couldn't tell him apart from the guy in this Burger King video.
You know how them gangsta rappers all look 'like.
ORIGINAL EBAUMS WORLD SPOOF
TACO BELL
WENDY'S
KFC
WHITE CASTLE
McDONALDS
ARBY'S
Update: It boggles my mind how many news organizations are still reporting this lawsuit using the same boring AP story. One blogger at last provided useful links to the actual lawsuit and trademark information. Kudos to Corpreform, a nice play on words.
Trademark infringement is a specialized area of law. Nuances are many. Still, I have not changed my opinion. This lawsuit is likely a thinly disguised ploy for publicity, an infuriatingly unnecessary clog in the court system. Trademark does not necessarily require prior permission to publicize words in an issued mark. The manner in which the words are used is key. That is where 50 Cent's legal team went down the mistaken path.
Yes, Fiddy has the rights to a mark that includes the words "50" and "Cent," but that does not preclude people from using the printed words "50 Cent" in a normal manner. Only the mark itself is protected, and believe me, there is a difference. Otherwise, every person in the world would trademark their name or stage name, requiring prior permission from anyone wanting to use said name in a third party manner. See how ridiculous?
To date, I have not seen a reprint of the original print advertisement, but would guess we're still referring only to the letter reviewed by reporters. In that case the lawsuit is frivolous as panned and the sooner kicked out of court the better.
Not for the number of lawsuits filed by the same sorry you-know-what rapper claiming infringement of intellectual property rights. Naw, Fiddy is about to grab the brass ring for all-time record number of news organizations running the same sorry you-know-what AP story describing his lame lawsuit against Taco Bell.
Just goes to show no one really wants to spend any time doing an in-depth piece on this poo.
In fact, his lawsuit against Yum Brands, Inc. (YUM), owner of the popular Taco Bell chain, may go down in history as one of the most sorry you-know-what meritless pieces of groundless drivel ever filed in a U.S. District Court. Can't wait to see the fallout from this one and just hoping those Yummy suits know how to file a super-sized counterclaim for utterly baseless blather.
I mean, how many times am I supposed to read,
50 Cent has sued Taco Bell, claiming the fast-food restaurant chain is using his name without permission in advertising that asks him to call himself 99 Cent.without going lollipop bonkers?
The rapper says in a federal lawsuit filed Wednesday that the Mexican-themed chain features him in a print ad asking him to change his name to 79 Cent, 89 Cent or 99 Cent. His real name is Curtis Jackson.
The rapper's court papers claim the ad is part of Taco Bell's "Why Pay More?" campaign, which promotes items for under a dollar, including Cinnamon Twists for 79 cents, Crunchy Tacos for 89 cents and Bean Burritos for 99 cents. The papers say the Irvine, Calif.-based company sent a bogus letter requesting the name change to the news media but not to the rapper.
Thank heaven for a slight amount of originality.
If anyone in the world has actually seen the offending advertisement, they're doing an amazing job of keeping it off the Internet. I can't say for certain, but I'm willing to lay odds it's in the style of other publicized open letters, none of which could easily be characterized as an unauthorized advertisment. As long as the ad didn't contain Fiddy's likeness or copyrighted material, Yummy is in the clear.
As for providing a copy of the open letter to news outlets before sending it off to Fiddy, what's the harm? Does he really think that's going to prove Taco Bell didn't intend to make good on its offer? That they were staging a sly publicity stunt?
Uh, yeah, good luck with that argument. Sorry, but it isn't going to fly. I wouldn't be surprised if the judge laughed Fiddy's sorry you-know-what straight out of court.
Oooo. Four million dollars claimed, shakedown for one. He must be down to his last "fiddy" cents if he's going down this lane. And the ridicule he claims is everywhere on the Internet? Let's just say it's less about Taco Bell using his image without permission and more about his sorry you-know-what performances at rich kids' Bar Mitzvahs and sorry you-know-what albums with the same tired you-know-what lyrics. Fiddy has milked getting shot so many times even his fans are sick of listening to him. In other words, his fans were calling him a sellout long before Taco Bell came along.
Loss of his fan base, disappointing album sales, a suspicious fire, massive legal bills connected to the controversy with his baby momma. A culmination of problems like this could easily take its toll.
Fiddy should have made good on his vow to leave the recording business rather than become fodder for the 'bloids. I almost feel sorry for him, then get angry thinking about his lawsuit clogging up the court system.
Fiddy's odds of winning this lawsuit are so astronimically low as to make me question the motives of his legal team. Lawsuits like this give lawyers a bad name. Principled lawyers would have talked their client out of such nonsense, but then nothing surprises me when it comes to celebrities.
I'm not into fast food so it took a short while to get up to speed, but from what I can see, a fast food rap video caught wildfire a couple years back. Since then, hordes of aspiring rappers have taken their lyrics to the street, pulling into drive-through lines and rapping away. Taco Bell capitalized on the craze by crafting a "Why Pay More" ad campaign and reducing the cost of certain menu items to under a dollar.
Smart marketing or foreshadowing SNAFU?
Some suit whose job is probably now on the line ratcheted up the ad campaign to create more buzz. An open letter to down and out Fiddy was a win-win idea with virtually no downside. Fiddy's career would have benefited. On the other hand, waves of negativity had already rippled through the blogosphere, charging the ad campaign with racial insensitivity. At that point, leaving well enough alone might have been a good idea, but corporate is not the type to sit on its laurels.
The First Amendment protects a published open letter that doesn't otherwise infringe on intellectual property rights. Even then Fiddy's claims might be difficult to prove, especially alleged damages of four million dollars. If for some crazy reason this lawsuit moves forward, 50 Cent can expect to lose a lot more in lawyer fees than he could ever expect to gain.
To illustrate the lawsuit's frivolity, I'll leave you with a slew of videos mimicking the popular spoof that likely started it all. If Fiddy thinks Taco Bell's "Why Pay More" campaign was somehow modeled after him or his rap music, maybe it's because his sorry you-know-what lawyers couldn't tell him apart from the guy in this Burger King video.
You know how them gangsta rappers all look 'like.
ORIGINAL EBAUMS WORLD SPOOF
TACO BELL
WENDY'S
KFC
WHITE CASTLE
McDONALDS
ARBY'S
Update: It boggles my mind how many news organizations are still reporting this lawsuit using the same boring AP story. One blogger at last provided useful links to the actual lawsuit and trademark information. Kudos to Corpreform, a nice play on words.
Trademark infringement is a specialized area of law. Nuances are many. Still, I have not changed my opinion. This lawsuit is likely a thinly disguised ploy for publicity, an infuriatingly unnecessary clog in the court system. Trademark does not necessarily require prior permission to publicize words in an issued mark. The manner in which the words are used is key. That is where 50 Cent's legal team went down the mistaken path.
Yes, Fiddy has the rights to a mark that includes the words "50" and "Cent," but that does not preclude people from using the printed words "50 Cent" in a normal manner. Only the mark itself is protected, and believe me, there is a difference. Otherwise, every person in the world would trademark their name or stage name, requiring prior permission from anyone wanting to use said name in a third party manner. See how ridiculous?
To date, I have not seen a reprint of the original print advertisement, but would guess we're still referring only to the letter reviewed by reporters. In that case the lawsuit is frivolous as panned and the sooner kicked out of court the better.
Charles Manson's Eerie 9/11 Connection
So many decisions, so little time.
For instance, I'm now trying to decide between Safari and Internet Explorer for my laptop. Safari is such a clean looking, faster loading browser. The only problem is my C-drive. Not enough disc space to download Adobe flash again and apparently no file sharing with IE. Drat. No video viewing capabilities. Something will have to go.
Or, take for example, writing blog articles at 4:00 a.m. Sleep or blog? What, am I crazy? That was a rhetorical question.
Finally, this humdinger. I might be crazy, but did I hear Charles Manson reveal a 9/11 connection in this 1987 Geraldo interview? Good thing I had already reviewed the video for yesterday's Susan Atkins article.
Either I'm not crazy, or Manson's Arabic farewell and "We'll see if you've got anybody in New York City" utterance are one helluva coincidence.
For instance, I'm now trying to decide between Safari and Internet Explorer for my laptop. Safari is such a clean looking, faster loading browser. The only problem is my C-drive. Not enough disc space to download Adobe flash again and apparently no file sharing with IE. Drat. No video viewing capabilities. Something will have to go.
Or, take for example, writing blog articles at 4:00 a.m. Sleep or blog? What, am I crazy? That was a rhetorical question.
Finally, this humdinger. I might be crazy, but did I hear Charles Manson reveal a 9/11 connection in this 1987 Geraldo interview? Good thing I had already reviewed the video for yesterday's Susan Atkins article.
Either I'm not crazy, or Manson's Arabic farewell and "We'll see if you've got anybody in New York City" utterance are one helluva coincidence.
Searching for Gypsy Girls in The Mohawk Song
An enterprising crew out of California is gunning to imbue summer of 2008 with the boom boxing beats of "Hawks." Make no mistake, those hair-raising spikes and soft fades are making a definitive come back with a catchy new anthem leading the way.The Mohawk Song, recently released in a collaborative video, is more than steamy grind and rhyming jibber jabber. It's distinctive rap with a cool stomp, the kind of song that could easily heat up the clubs. Mix in Ellen DeGeneres and soon we could be up to our ears in shaved heads and spiky extensions.
Not that I would ever become a convert, but mohawks rock. They're edgy, in your face, somewhat out of place, punky, and distinctively cool. Like waving a big flag over your face and announcing to the world, "Who cares what you think of me or my hair." A kind of shove it where the sun doesn't shine attitude capable of diverting unwelcome stares to a body part within one's control. Got to admire a hairdo with that kind of clout.
But recently featured Amanda, Bianca, and Erica are nowhere to be found in the viral video contender. After an earnest search for their "Mohawk Girls" video turned up squat, some caring soul fingered "The Mohawk Song" as their possible debut. Sad to say, but if these fresh-faced young souls thought "The Mohawk Song" was their ticket to fame, they got gyped (sorry, no pun intended). Either this isn't their video or Future Stars left the girls on the cutting room floor.
Either way, my search for their tube continues. Links welcome.
Not Linking to the Mohawk Song
Once again, being brief due to lack of time. Yes, believe it or not life is very busy here in the Land of Pleasant Living. But getting back about a week ago, in the land of chill, the MTV Movie Award Show was over, and we little people were exiting the building so to speak.Yello haired mohawk guy caught my attention, but couldn't get him to give me a pass to the after party. Not only that, his girlfriend freaked when I asked if I could take their picture. Even saw who I thought was Edgar Winter with long flowing white hair (sorry, I don't do autographs he responded when I asked if it was really him). And then, I came across the Mohawk Girls. Aren't they cute?
Poor things could not get in to see the show. I felt sorry for them hanging around at Universal, nothing to do or see, although one of them did say they caught a glimpse of a big celeb as he/she walked on to the property.
I have looked high and low for Amanda, Erica, and Bianco's video, The Mohawk Song. Honestly, these girls are so famous that yellow mohawk guy recognized them from more than twenty feet away. Me, on the other hand, no clue.
Will somebody please send this yodel a link? These girls were so nice and personable. Really would like to review their video, tell about our short encounter, you know the deal.
What to Do In Glendale, California
Don't ask me why we booked a hotel in Glendale, California. It's not close to anything Hollywood. Parking, Internet access, and mini bar cost extra. And if you're not in town to see the Rose Bowl Parade, the place is pretty sleepy.
The girls and I walked around a nearby outdoor shopping plaza. Dug the outdoor chandelier hanging over the street on a string. Loved the gold gilded statute in the middle of the fountain park. There was a break in the smog that day. Could actually see over the mountains into La La Land which was pretty amazing. Street car conductor didn't want his picture taken, so he ducked right when I aimed the camera. Didn't have enough battery power to get more shots, so the photograph with the sunset at the end of the video is from a beach in Europe. In a fix, improvise, I always say.
Lots of trendy shops and people claiming to scout for models. Yeah, the girls got the come on to fly to New York for hair and makeup. Could be legit....probably not. I've seen this play before, but we shall see, we shall see.
The girls and I walked around a nearby outdoor shopping plaza. Dug the outdoor chandelier hanging over the street on a string. Loved the gold gilded statute in the middle of the fountain park. There was a break in the smog that day. Could actually see over the mountains into La La Land which was pretty amazing. Street car conductor didn't want his picture taken, so he ducked right when I aimed the camera. Didn't have enough battery power to get more shots, so the photograph with the sunset at the end of the video is from a beach in Europe. In a fix, improvise, I always say.
Lots of trendy shops and people claiming to scout for models. Yeah, the girls got the come on to fly to New York for hair and makeup. Could be legit....probably not. I've seen this play before, but we shall see, we shall see.
Flash Mob Entertainment Goes Global
A flash mob recently convened in Baltimore's Inner Harbor, sparking local interest in the recently popular phenomenon.
I'm more amused by flash mob entertainment from other parts of the world. No need to translate. The humor speaks for itself.
I'm more amused by flash mob entertainment from other parts of the world. No need to translate. The humor speaks for itself.
Gary Kasparov Interrupted by Flying Penis
American political candidates aren't the only ones enduring the slings and arrows of opposition. The hilarious effects of glasnost and perestroika were on display as Gary Kasparov, retired chess champion and political activist, interrupted a weekend rally to observe the flight of a wayward wang.
Don't have a cow. The offending operative wasn't real, just hysterically funny.
I'm still trying to figure out Second Life. According to a more astute observer the incident mimicked a similar attack in the alternate reality. According to a report from Belfast,
The flying wang was an immediate crowd pleaser. News correspondents mass recorded the attack and someone quickly downloaded it for prosperity. A dark haired diminutive correspondent ran out of the room so fast, I couldn't tell if he/she was trying to claim first dibs or satisfy a sudden personal urge.
The wang could have been more than just a prank, possibly carrying a recording device of its own. That would explain the actions of a way too serious security guard who quickly disabled the otherwise harmless intruder. Did you see that guy's face? Scary.
[Source]
[Source]
Don't have a cow. The offending operative wasn't real, just hysterically funny.
I'm still trying to figure out Second Life. According to a more astute observer the incident mimicked a similar attack in the alternate reality. According to a report from Belfast,
The prank was staged by 'a couple of pro-Kremlin Young Russia activists' reports the Moscow Times. Mr Kasparov was unharmed.Bah-dah-bum.
Kasparov laughed off the incident remarking that it was 'below the belt.'
'I think we have to be thankful for the opposition's demonstration of the level of discourse we need to anticipate,' he said.
An onlooker said the incident was a 'genital reminder about who is in charge.'
The flying wang was an immediate crowd pleaser. News correspondents mass recorded the attack and someone quickly downloaded it for prosperity. A dark haired diminutive correspondent ran out of the room so fast, I couldn't tell if he/she was trying to claim first dibs or satisfy a sudden personal urge.
The wang could have been more than just a prank, possibly carrying a recording device of its own. That would explain the actions of a way too serious security guard who quickly disabled the otherwise harmless intruder. Did you see that guy's face? Scary.
[Source]
[Source]
Baltimore-Bred Brandon Hardesty Bound for Jimmy Kimmel Live
It was bound to happen. See what's passing for entertainment in 21st century America.
At least that was the belief of GEICO execs.
Baltimore resident, Brandon Hardesty, a 20-year old who recreates scenes from popular cinema on the lowest budget in entertainment history, will premiere short re-enactments of top Oscar contenders throughout this week on Jimmy Kimmel Live. Don't think it's been a meteoric rise to the top. Brandon has been shooting videos on location from his parents' basement since 2006.
Only one tiny difference between him and oodles of other wannabes. Brandon has actual talent, as evidenced in this re-enactment from last year's Oscar winner, Pan's Labyrinth.
At least that was the belief of GEICO execs.
Baltimore resident, Brandon Hardesty, a 20-year old who recreates scenes from popular cinema on the lowest budget in entertainment history, will premiere short re-enactments of top Oscar contenders throughout this week on Jimmy Kimmel Live. Don't think it's been a meteoric rise to the top. Brandon has been shooting videos on location from his parents' basement since 2006.
Only one tiny difference between him and oodles of other wannabes. Brandon has actual talent, as evidenced in this re-enactment from last year's Oscar winner, Pan's Labyrinth.
Political Divide Needs to Dump Rancor
The Internet is bursting with stories about candidates dividing the country, talk radio blowhards dividing parties, and dynasty dinosaurs dividing African-Americans and Latinos (couldn't resist that last jab). Could The Spewker's "Divided We Fall" collection possibly be on the cutting edge of a major political issue?
Not patting ourselves on the back for leading the charge, just blowing off steam. Numerous issues have been dividing this country far longer than the birth of this blog. Take a big breath, America. Exhale slowly. Then prepare to laugh. We could all learn a thing or two from the following YouTube phenoms.
Yes, I'm a huge fan of Michael Buckley, have been since I joined YouTube. Without wanting to look like shills, we promote his videos as much as possiible. I don't know exactly when Buckly reached the stratosphere of subscribed channels. When I stumbled upon his program, he boasted a mere 3,000 or so subscribers. Now he's their number two angling to be number one guy.
What the Buck's witty combination of sass and blast strikes a happy chord with people like me. Michael Buckley's hilarious take on issues no one else will discuss is like icing on Eva Longoria Parker's wedding cake.
Americans won't solve their differences until people are willing talk about them. We don't have to agree with each other. We don't even have to like one another. But each of us has a responsibility to get along. Respect, tolerance, and a smattering of good humor. It's so simple. We just don't want to follow the recipe.
Now I'll probably get attacked as a kumbaya hugger.
Bill Gates Last Day at Microsoft Video
Big news flash. Bill Gates is retiring from Microsoft to devote his attention to The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. Oh. You already knew. Well some of us have a life. Some of us sometimes spend time doing other things besides surfing the Internet. Some of us are just not so fabulouso.
I'm referring to our virtual Hollywood correspondent, Mona extraordinaire. Moan has been slacking on the job. Something about death and taxes. Don't ask.
But I'm here to make it up to all you faithful Spewklets. Bill's last keynote address at the 2008 International CES convention included a hilarious crossover vid spoofing his retirement. Yes, better quality versions are floating around, but we thought you'd enjoy the same experience as people attending the premiere.
We here at The Spewker wish our very best to Bill Gates. Not that he will need it, but hey, it never hurts to spread the good vibes.
Britney Spears is Just Another Victim of Danny Bonaduce Life Coach
Don't ask us how we found Danny Bonaduce Life Coach. All we know is that the series of tiny tubes known as the Internet took us there. It's about time someone revealed the true reason behind Brit's crash and burn. Don't be fooled by the cartoon format. Other pop references are just icing on the cake.
Hey. When there's nothing good on television and just about everything becomes reality TV, it's time to jump ship. Welcome to the next generation of entertainment.
Ratings Warning: I had to sign an 18 and over voucher to watch this vid, but I'm posting it anyway because IMHO, the content is PG. In your eye, movie ratings fogies.
The Twelve Days of Celebrity Christmas
Are they over? Not the Iowa caucuses, silly, the holidays.
Yes, we heard Obama clinched Iowa and we're thrilled. Thrilled beyond expression. Edwards second place finish wasn't so squeaky when considering how outspent and under reported in comparison to Clinton. No sympathy whatsoever for Billary. We can only pray she gets the message to exit sooner rather than later. She should allow the presumptive nominee, Obama, to use some of that treasure trove in the general election. Wonder how much she'll try to squirrel away for another senate campaign.
Huckabee creamed the competition as expected. No surprises there. Giuliani's failure to register in the top tier, however, knocked a lot of wind out of our sails. I would have thought Thompson had no chance whatsoever. Instead, his third place finish leaves Hunter dead in the water, and Rudy extremely vulnerable in New Hampshire.
Biden and Dodd are goners. Bye fellows, it was nice thinking I'd be able to vote for one of you. Thanks a lot, Iowa, you always know how to spoil a good party. I didn't get to drink a beer and the cops are already sending people home.
As the holidays come to a close, and the race moves ahead to New Hampshire, I'm bracing myself for the long haul...February 6th. If there's no assumed winners by then, all hell may break loose at the conventions.
This party may not have to end so abruptly after all.
Well, celebrity fans, there's a new kid on the block. By chance, I came across the kid's "Twelve Days of Celebrity Christmas" and thought it was a classy way end to the holidays. Classy in a very cheesy sort of way. Soon, people will be taking down their Christmas lights (everyone but your next door neighbor), the hum drum will return, and we'll all be looking forward to spring.
By the time convetion season rolls around, I might need a good soak in the Velvet Hot Tub, if not to lick my political wounds, then for the sheer enjoyment of rejuvenation.
Don't tell our virtual Hollywood correspondent, Moan Quivers, about the "-alicious" suffix in the title panel. She definitively said the next person who describes something with the dreaded "-alicious," they were going to get a spiked heel up their butt. Ouch.
Yes, we heard Obama clinched Iowa and we're thrilled. Thrilled beyond expression. Edwards second place finish wasn't so squeaky when considering how outspent and under reported in comparison to Clinton. No sympathy whatsoever for Billary. We can only pray she gets the message to exit sooner rather than later. She should allow the presumptive nominee, Obama, to use some of that treasure trove in the general election. Wonder how much she'll try to squirrel away for another senate campaign.
Huckabee creamed the competition as expected. No surprises there. Giuliani's failure to register in the top tier, however, knocked a lot of wind out of our sails. I would have thought Thompson had no chance whatsoever. Instead, his third place finish leaves Hunter dead in the water, and Rudy extremely vulnerable in New Hampshire.
Biden and Dodd are goners. Bye fellows, it was nice thinking I'd be able to vote for one of you. Thanks a lot, Iowa, you always know how to spoil a good party. I didn't get to drink a beer and the cops are already sending people home.
As the holidays come to a close, and the race moves ahead to New Hampshire, I'm bracing myself for the long haul...February 6th. If there's no assumed winners by then, all hell may break loose at the conventions.
This party may not have to end so abruptly after all.
Well, celebrity fans, there's a new kid on the block. By chance, I came across the kid's "Twelve Days of Celebrity Christmas" and thought it was a classy way end to the holidays. Classy in a very cheesy sort of way. Soon, people will be taking down their Christmas lights (everyone but your next door neighbor), the hum drum will return, and we'll all be looking forward to spring.
By the time convetion season rolls around, I might need a good soak in the Velvet Hot Tub, if not to lick my political wounds, then for the sheer enjoyment of rejuvenation.
Don't tell our virtual Hollywood correspondent, Moan Quivers, about the "-alicious" suffix in the title panel. She definitively said the next person who describes something with the dreaded "-alicious," they were going to get a spiked heel up their butt. Ouch.
My World is Beginning Today
Spent way too much time over the weekend reconnecting with family and some old friends. As a result, our usual Monday morning articles remain unready for posting.
But, hey, we've got a new logo, new tagline, some new subscribers, and a lot to look forward to in 2008. So as not to disappoint anyone dropping by at the crack of dawn (okay it's really 9:30 a.m., but on an extended holiday weekend, this is still way too early to rise), here's a trippy 70's-looking excerpt from that perennial holiday favorite, Santa Claus is Comin' to Town. Some folks decided Woodstock hippie types must have produced this children's classic and I'm inclined to agree. The dots fanning out in tunnel-like fashion reminded me of a bad Laugh-In segue.
Viewers who recall that era's acid dropping techniques may enjoy a walk down nostalgia lane. The rest of you? Feel free to surf while I get my act in gear. Cheers!
But, hey, we've got a new logo, new tagline, some new subscribers, and a lot to look forward to in 2008. So as not to disappoint anyone dropping by at the crack of dawn (okay it's really 9:30 a.m., but on an extended holiday weekend, this is still way too early to rise), here's a trippy 70's-looking excerpt from that perennial holiday favorite, Santa Claus is Comin' to Town. Some folks decided Woodstock hippie types must have produced this children's classic and I'm inclined to agree. The dots fanning out in tunnel-like fashion reminded me of a bad Laugh-In segue.
Viewers who recall that era's acid dropping techniques may enjoy a walk down nostalgia lane. The rest of you? Feel free to surf while I get my act in gear. Cheers!
Dog Driving Video Good for a Chuckle
What some people won't do to get over a million views on YouTube! I got bored with this wild ride after forty-five seconds, but it was good for a few chuckles in between.
Swift Kids For Truth Say No To Hillary Clinton
I believe that children are our future. Let the children laugh and lead the way. Let the children's laughter remind us how it used to be.
The Top 10 Salient Celebrity Smackers
They’re bowed, blown-up, full, curled, lush, luscious, rounded, snarled and salacious. Portals of communication and objections of obsession. Curio chambers of lips, teeth, and gums. I’m talking about salient celebrity smackers.
Many have undergone surgical enhancement, but those that stand head and shoulders above the rest deserve mention. Not because they’re pumped or pouty, but because certain mouths just got it going on.
The qualities of a standout are hard to pinpoint. It can be as simple as the way a celebrity speaks, or a more subtle allure like a dart of the tongue. Some attract without effort while others are conscious acts of creation. Many have quested for the gold standard and failed. Britney’s recent foray into collagen enhancement proves the allure cannot be purchased. It’s the original package or what’s done with it that counts.
Note to readers: After publishing this article, many of the following videos were removed from YouTube. Their shells remain to display the captured title. Substitute videos appear below. We apologize for the complete lack of consideration of some "too full of themselves" individual. Now back to the original article.
With so many to choose from, I decided to take a stab at whittling it down to the top ten. Here are mine in reverse order:
10. Barbara Walters - When the late Gilda Radner donned her wig and journalists clothing, she became the epitome of this “wiving wegend.” “Baba” started her career with an almost imperceptible impediment that quickly became the most “pwonounced” joke in show business. Fantastic footage of the late Madeline Kahn as Marlena “Mahwena Deuschman” Dietrich is a hilarious bonus.
9. Holly Hunter - I’m obsessed with this Academy Award winner’s mouth because I can’t quite identify the impediment. It’s a lisp, it’s a hollow whistle, it’s a gentle shushing sound...it’s... completely fascinating. Also cannot ignore the right corner droop and killer southern accent. John Henson takes a jab at her trademark drawl, but Holly fights right back. Watch the end for an impressive impersonation of the late Katherine Hepburn.
8. Donald Trump - Best scene on The Apprentice ever. I don’t know how he speaks through those rounded protuberances, but it’s an exaggeration screaming for attention. More recent clips of The Donald show a toning down of the pouty puss. Hmmm... must not have enjoyed all those SNL parodies.
7. Dolly Parton - Before too much tweaking turned her into a cartoon version of bonkers on a stick, Dolly’s southern twang, lopsided bite, shushing "sss," and lower right corner droop mesmerized millions. Here’s a wonderful interview of a younger Dolly showing why she’s known as the gal with a heart of gold.
6. Alicia Silverstone - Asymetrical smile. Top right sneer. Lips that practically cover the entire bottom of her face. When Ms. Silverstone smiles, she reveals the entire length of her upper gums. The only other celebrity who can make that claim to fame is Mr. Ed.
5. Liv Tyler - A clip of Liv and her family at the Gotham Magazine launch party. It’s not so much the extraordinary shape and size of her lips as they way she purses them when she speaks. Each wonderful genuflect and tongue dart is captured here in fire engine red. Loved where she chose to caresses the magazine cover and her special send off at the end.
4. Cher - Before earning her Academy Award, Cher was a celebrated recipient of Harvard’s coveted hasty pudding pot. Check out the formerly perky cupid bow, famous tongue thrusts, renowned lip licks, and occasional cheek puff. Love those pre-collagen days.
3. Sylvester Stallone - The come hither sneer, the tongue dart, the two finger upper stance, the purse, the right corner droop. Rocky is in fine form here. This clip includes highlights from Sly’s latest flick, Rocky Balboa, and news of another franchise sequel.
2. Mick Jagger - Mick practically gets naked with Tina Turner at this Live Aid benefit. The highlight comes about 1:55 in. Additional lingual acrobatics follow, but not one of them tops the 1:56 freeze frame. Note the exquisite upper lip furl. One of the sexiest pouts this side of the pond, it’s no wonder Mick’s lips make headlines around the world.
1. Angelina Jolie - Pursing, pouting, smacking, licking, rubbing, tapping, you name it, these lips do it and more. In this revealing interview of the woman heralded as “Sexiest Woman Alive” and “One of the Fifty Most Beautiful People in the World,” Jolie’s mouth stretches the width of her wide set eyes and length of her tapered fingers. Look for the Shiloh sequel in years to come.
Honorable Mention: Brigitte Bardot, Drew Barrymore, Sandra Bernhardt, Geena Davis, Sophia Loren, Eddie Murphy, Julia Roberts, Garry Shandling, John Travolta, Steven Tyler, Alfre Woodard.
Gone But Not Forgotten: Marlon Brando, Sammy Davis, Jr., Elvis, Marilyn Monroe, Anna Nicole Smith.
Update: Well, as Gilda Radner's famous character Rosanne Rosanna Dana used to say, "It's always something." Somebody came snooping around for "Holly Hunter mouth droop" and a whole slew of these videos magically disappeared from YouTube. Must be somebody pretty powerful and/or incredibly sanctimonious. I just hope they're proud of themselves.
This article took many many hours to put together just so, but they obviously don't care. The right emphasis on a celebrity's mouth, the perfect camera angle, and overall illustration of my impressions... all of this matters in supporting the points made here.
It's not as if the people or conglomerates with rights to the footage will ever find an acceptable business model to make money off of it. Okay, maybe they will, but it will be peanuts in comparison to the joy those videos bring. Those precious moments are lost forever, maybe never to reappear. Making YouTube delete otherwise unavailable camera footage is just plain wrong, copyright laws or not.
The next time whoever you are orders footage removed, will you kindly leave a link in my comments section to wherever the video is now available, if at all? At least that way people who are truly interested will still have a chance to footage of these spectacular pusses in action.
FYI, here are some substitute videos, but they don't do justice to the originals. But what's another ten hours shaved off of my life, eh?
HOLLY HUNTER
DOLLY PARTON
LIV TYLER
CHER
Sorry - post-collagen
SYLVESTER STALLONE
MICK JAGGER
ANGELINA JOLIE
Many have undergone surgical enhancement, but those that stand head and shoulders above the rest deserve mention. Not because they’re pumped or pouty, but because certain mouths just got it going on.
The qualities of a standout are hard to pinpoint. It can be as simple as the way a celebrity speaks, or a more subtle allure like a dart of the tongue. Some attract without effort while others are conscious acts of creation. Many have quested for the gold standard and failed. Britney’s recent foray into collagen enhancement proves the allure cannot be purchased. It’s the original package or what’s done with it that counts.
Note to readers: After publishing this article, many of the following videos were removed from YouTube. Their shells remain to display the captured title. Substitute videos appear below. We apologize for the complete lack of consideration of some "too full of themselves" individual. Now back to the original article.
With so many to choose from, I decided to take a stab at whittling it down to the top ten. Here are mine in reverse order:
10. Barbara Walters - When the late Gilda Radner donned her wig and journalists clothing, she became the epitome of this “wiving wegend.” “Baba” started her career with an almost imperceptible impediment that quickly became the most “pwonounced” joke in show business. Fantastic footage of the late Madeline Kahn as Marlena “Mahwena Deuschman” Dietrich is a hilarious bonus.
9. Holly Hunter - I’m obsessed with this Academy Award winner’s mouth because I can’t quite identify the impediment. It’s a lisp, it’s a hollow whistle, it’s a gentle shushing sound...it’s... completely fascinating. Also cannot ignore the right corner droop and killer southern accent. John Henson takes a jab at her trademark drawl, but Holly fights right back. Watch the end for an impressive impersonation of the late Katherine Hepburn.
8. Donald Trump - Best scene on The Apprentice ever. I don’t know how he speaks through those rounded protuberances, but it’s an exaggeration screaming for attention. More recent clips of The Donald show a toning down of the pouty puss. Hmmm... must not have enjoyed all those SNL parodies.
7. Dolly Parton - Before too much tweaking turned her into a cartoon version of bonkers on a stick, Dolly’s southern twang, lopsided bite, shushing "sss," and lower right corner droop mesmerized millions. Here’s a wonderful interview of a younger Dolly showing why she’s known as the gal with a heart of gold.
6. Alicia Silverstone - Asymetrical smile. Top right sneer. Lips that practically cover the entire bottom of her face. When Ms. Silverstone smiles, she reveals the entire length of her upper gums. The only other celebrity who can make that claim to fame is Mr. Ed.
5. Liv Tyler - A clip of Liv and her family at the Gotham Magazine launch party. It’s not so much the extraordinary shape and size of her lips as they way she purses them when she speaks. Each wonderful genuflect and tongue dart is captured here in fire engine red. Loved where she chose to caresses the magazine cover and her special send off at the end.
4. Cher - Before earning her Academy Award, Cher was a celebrated recipient of Harvard’s coveted hasty pudding pot. Check out the formerly perky cupid bow, famous tongue thrusts, renowned lip licks, and occasional cheek puff. Love those pre-collagen days.
3. Sylvester Stallone - The come hither sneer, the tongue dart, the two finger upper stance, the purse, the right corner droop. Rocky is in fine form here. This clip includes highlights from Sly’s latest flick, Rocky Balboa, and news of another franchise sequel.
2. Mick Jagger - Mick practically gets naked with Tina Turner at this Live Aid benefit. The highlight comes about 1:55 in. Additional lingual acrobatics follow, but not one of them tops the 1:56 freeze frame. Note the exquisite upper lip furl. One of the sexiest pouts this side of the pond, it’s no wonder Mick’s lips make headlines around the world.
1. Angelina Jolie - Pursing, pouting, smacking, licking, rubbing, tapping, you name it, these lips do it and more. In this revealing interview of the woman heralded as “Sexiest Woman Alive” and “One of the Fifty Most Beautiful People in the World,” Jolie’s mouth stretches the width of her wide set eyes and length of her tapered fingers. Look for the Shiloh sequel in years to come.
Honorable Mention: Brigitte Bardot, Drew Barrymore, Sandra Bernhardt, Geena Davis, Sophia Loren, Eddie Murphy, Julia Roberts, Garry Shandling, John Travolta, Steven Tyler, Alfre Woodard.
Gone But Not Forgotten: Marlon Brando, Sammy Davis, Jr., Elvis, Marilyn Monroe, Anna Nicole Smith.
Update: Well, as Gilda Radner's famous character Rosanne Rosanna Dana used to say, "It's always something." Somebody came snooping around for "Holly Hunter mouth droop" and a whole slew of these videos magically disappeared from YouTube. Must be somebody pretty powerful and/or incredibly sanctimonious. I just hope they're proud of themselves.
This article took many many hours to put together just so, but they obviously don't care. The right emphasis on a celebrity's mouth, the perfect camera angle, and overall illustration of my impressions... all of this matters in supporting the points made here.
It's not as if the people or conglomerates with rights to the footage will ever find an acceptable business model to make money off of it. Okay, maybe they will, but it will be peanuts in comparison to the joy those videos bring. Those precious moments are lost forever, maybe never to reappear. Making YouTube delete otherwise unavailable camera footage is just plain wrong, copyright laws or not.
The next time whoever you are orders footage removed, will you kindly leave a link in my comments section to wherever the video is now available, if at all? At least that way people who are truly interested will still have a chance to footage of these spectacular pusses in action.
FYI, here are some substitute videos, but they don't do justice to the originals. But what's another ten hours shaved off of my life, eh?
HOLLY HUNTER
DOLLY PARTON
LIV TYLER
CHER
Sorry - post-collagen
SYLVESTER STALLONE
MICK JAGGER
ANGELINA JOLIE
Chris Crocker Viral Meme Rocks YouTube
I'm finally starting to get this whole viral video fad. One video strikes a chord, then everyone claws for a piece of it. They tweak, they change, parody, and spit. Each time a new short goes up, someone decides they can do one better, or different, or in some cases, not anywhere near as good, but perhaps still funny.
Let's all pile into that phone booth, now. Ready, set.....oooomph!
Such is the case with Chris Crocker, latest Internet phenom, direct from his ItsChrisCrocker channel on YouTube. Yes, happy little Chris is ditching the Internet (or so some vloggers hope) for bigger and brighter places: your television set. Poor computer deprived or otherwise oblivious people have no idea what television nimwits have lying in wait. In the interests of time, rather than try to describe how Chris's fifteen minutes came into existence, feast your eyes on my Cette Semaine du Spewed Videos feature below. There, you will get a condensed version of the Chris Crocker After School Special. Next stop, the Hallmark channel.
Sweet Chrissy is fielding a lot of flack for uploading videos faster than Britney Spears can spit out children. Mainstream vloggers are up in arms over the amount of viewing time Crocker videos and their progeny receive. They actually blame Crocker for diverting attention from their "regular more homey" videos.
I suppose these bad feelings have something to do with the content of Crocker videos or the acting. Serious vloggers have panned them as blather. While somewhat entertaining, in all honesty, I have to agree. The same thing that makes drivers rubberneck at a traffic accident makes Internet users watch Crocker vids and virals.
But could it also be that Chris's blatant homosexuality and obvious emotional problems rub mainstream vloggers the wrong way? If so, then I'd have to say more is brewing over at YouTube than the emergence of a new Internet celebrity. The folks in charge would be wise to keep a tight lid on the uploads before some members become known as the "YouTube Six."
My first thought was to catach the viral wave and upload my own Crocker meme, but then, reality set in. I'm a grown-up with real grown-up responsibilities. I don't have time to produce such nonsense. Besides, the outbreak is about done. There is no variance on the meme that hasn't been done before, or at least one hopes. For once, I agree with the cute little mouse puppet. "It's over. It's done. Move on!!"
Still, the virals keep slogging in. I had to cut off my playlist at ninety-nine. In the history of YouTube, I think that's the most any video has ever viraled. If anyone knows of another, I'd love to hear about it.
I have decided to link the virals to this article, just in case someone wanted to watch the full length feature movie. If you manage to catch the anti-Chrissy vids, let me know whether you think the YouTube mainstream are spinning off their crocker.
Let's all pile into that phone booth, now. Ready, set.....oooomph!
Such is the case with Chris Crocker, latest Internet phenom, direct from his ItsChrisCrocker channel on YouTube. Yes, happy little Chris is ditching the Internet (or so some vloggers hope) for bigger and brighter places: your television set. Poor computer deprived or otherwise oblivious people have no idea what television nimwits have lying in wait. In the interests of time, rather than try to describe how Chris's fifteen minutes came into existence, feast your eyes on my Cette Semaine du Spewed Videos feature below. There, you will get a condensed version of the Chris Crocker After School Special. Next stop, the Hallmark channel.Sweet Chrissy is fielding a lot of flack for uploading videos faster than Britney Spears can spit out children. Mainstream vloggers are up in arms over the amount of viewing time Crocker videos and their progeny receive. They actually blame Crocker for diverting attention from their "regular more homey" videos.
I suppose these bad feelings have something to do with the content of Crocker videos or the acting. Serious vloggers have panned them as blather. While somewhat entertaining, in all honesty, I have to agree. The same thing that makes drivers rubberneck at a traffic accident makes Internet users watch Crocker vids and virals.
But could it also be that Chris's blatant homosexuality and obvious emotional problems rub mainstream vloggers the wrong way? If so, then I'd have to say more is brewing over at YouTube than the emergence of a new Internet celebrity. The folks in charge would be wise to keep a tight lid on the uploads before some members become known as the "YouTube Six."
My first thought was to catach the viral wave and upload my own Crocker meme, but then, reality set in. I'm a grown-up with real grown-up responsibilities. I don't have time to produce such nonsense. Besides, the outbreak is about done. There is no variance on the meme that hasn't been done before, or at least one hopes. For once, I agree with the cute little mouse puppet. "It's over. It's done. Move on!!"
Still, the virals keep slogging in. I had to cut off my playlist at ninety-nine. In the history of YouTube, I think that's the most any video has ever viraled. If anyone knows of another, I'd love to hear about it.
I have decided to link the virals to this article, just in case someone wanted to watch the full length feature movie. If you manage to catch the anti-Chrissy vids, let me know whether you think the YouTube mainstream are spinning off their crocker.
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