Barack Obama's historic win of the presidency was more than just an iconic moment in American history. It was a vindication of our core belief that anything is possible in the home of the free and the brave.
When wife Michelle, and daughters Malia and Sasha stand on the Capitol steps this January 20, 2009, beaming with pride as the first American of African descent -- President-Elect Barack Obama, their husband and father -- places his hand on the bible, swearing an oath of allegiance to the United States Constitution to uphold fundamental principles of fairness and liberty, the whole world will take stock of America's historic leap forward as we, the people, at last turn the page on one of the hardest fought victories in recent memory.
Still, I am humbly reminded that with every silver lining comes a cloud. You see, up until the precise moment of Obama's historic swearing in ceremony (and perhaps for a wee bit after), the entire world must endure a heavy burden indeed.
An unprecedented barrage of firsts.
The first time a major American newspaper endorses the Democratic Party's nominee for president.
The first time a man with African roots wins a presidential election.
The first time that man, Barack Obama, takes a top secret security level tour of the White House.
The first time the transition of a U.S. presidency is transparently documented on the Internet.
The first press conference of Barack Obama.
And on and on she goes. I'm not sure how much more I can stand. Come on, admit it. You're getting sick of it too.
I imagine there are will be many firsts for the new President-Elect, his family and for lack of a better word, entourage, but do we have to hear about every single one in mind-numbing detail? Here are a few I'd rather not:
-The first time Oprah Winfrey flies her entire studio audience to Washington, D.C. for the inauguration.
-The first time any type of stereotypical ethnic food is served on the White House menu.
-The first time a trash can basketball hoop is installed in the Oval Office.
-The first time Will.i.am and Obama Girl are invited to an official State Dinner.
-The first time an African-American White House staff member is mistaken for a member of the President's family.
-The first time President Obama and the First Lady rumple the sheets in the Lincoln Bedroom.
Okay. Okay. No flames. I know I went overboard on those last ones. Let's hope all the news outlets exercise greater restraint.
Showing posts with label Funny Bone Review. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny Bone Review. Show all posts
Top Ten (Plus Five) John McCain Green Screen Challenges
Despite valliant deterrent efforts by Comedy Central's Steve Colbert, John McCain never waivered on his premise that a green screen would enhance campaign rhetoric.
The same critter serving as boring backdrop during a poorly attended campaign stump made a questionable reappearance at the Republican National Convention. Too bad the Gentleman from Arizon didn't feel the need to reconsider.
Thus Colbert's challenge to enliven McCain's green screen marches on. Her are our top fifteen past entries to lead the charge.
McCain of the Lost Ark
The Day McCain Stood Still
McCain Simpson
Star Trek McCain
Puppet McCain
Blue Suede Shoes Edition
Pulp McCain
Citizen McCain
Ferris Bueller McCain
Oldergeist
McCain Throughout the Ages
Three Stooges McCain
The Wizard of Oz Edition
Numa NuMcCain
McCaining Arizona
Another Government Wipe Joke
Not so funny, but the fact that someone actually took the time to think this up and write it all down made me chuckle. Talk about working from the punchline backward. I wonder how long it took to work their way back to the opening.
A Montana cowboy is overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advances out of a dust cloud towards him.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"
The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's how many animals I have alright. Well, I guess you can take one of the young 'uns," says the cowboy.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is will you give me back my animal?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're a congressman with the U.S. government," says the cowboy.
"Wow! That's correct," says the young man. "But how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required," answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter you are than me. And you don't know a thing about cows. . . this is a herd of sheep. . . . Now give me back my dog."
A Montana cowboy is overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advances out of a dust cloud towards him.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"
The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's how many animals I have alright. Well, I guess you can take one of the young 'uns," says the cowboy.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is will you give me back my animal?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're a congressman with the U.S. government," says the cowboy.
"Wow! That's correct," says the young man. "But how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required," answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter you are than me. And you don't know a thing about cows. . . this is a herd of sheep. . . . Now give me back my dog."
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