Raunchiest Celebrity in Washington Regurgitated

Don't understand how personal matters can derail coverage of local events, but once again the beast has reared its ugly kisser.

This beauty sat in my editing bin for over a month. Yowza! I really am behind keeping up with the times. But couldn't let the 15th Annual Funniest Celebrity in Washington roll without a nod. Thankfully, recent developments have enhanced its relevance.

Last year's fundraiser drew pointed appreciation for runners-up, Pennsylvania Senator Arlen Specter and the lesser-known Ana. Continuing the "aw ya got robbed" tradition of underdog love, vlogger extraordinaire James Kotecki got his share of laps for a raunchy take on Election 2008.

Winner Mike Huckabee, Governor of Arkansas and former presidential contender, must have bribed someone for the title 'cause let's face it, Kotecki wiped the floor with Huck's routine. He even scored extra brownie points for non-partisan telling it like it is. Note these deleted lyrics from Kotecki's act:

Palin is the Governor of Alaska/There's just one question I gotta ask her/ She's got a bang'n body that we all want to hit/Does that negate the fact that she don't know sh**?

Speaking of dope raps about Palin, last Saturday's SNL Weekend Update kicked Kotecki's initiative up a notch. A sketch likely to live in the annals of SNL folklore featuring ready-to-pop Amy Poehler, Alaskan themed dancers and co-anchor Seth Myers bopping with the real Sarah Palin bore more than just a passing resemblance to its raunchier predecessor.

If only Kotecki could have foreseen the comedic boost of hilariously funny backup, he might have walked off with this year's crown. Food for thought as local competitors gear up for next year.

Mark Wahlberg says shopped, George Michael is dropped, Robyn gets popped, and Other Celebolitics

Once again, proudly providing a cacophony of celebolitics, the weekend roundup is back.

Andy Samberg's best Dr. Doolittle impersonation has Mark Wahlberg's fur in a huff. On the bright side, Barky Bark probably won't have to turn down any more SNL guest host invitations.

Is Britney Spears channeling Sarah Palin as dominatrix? You be the judge.

Proving bare naked breasts are indeed beautiful, lip engorged Brangelina debuts Angie's nursing photos in the November issue of W.

Who exactly is Swedish pop singer Robyn? Whoever made this ding-dong think she could dis Madonna and live to tell about it needs an immediate refresher course in Peon 101.

For a saucy old broad, Cloris Leachman sure gets around. First sashaying her way to super stardom on DWTS, now recently named Grand Marshall for the 2009 Rose Bowl Parade. Is there anything outside this grand old dame's comfort zone?

The Brit Awards has reportedly dropped embattled pop star George Michael from its short list of lifetime achievement award contenders after his recent drug bust for cocaine and marijuana possession. I suppose all those lurid bathroom stall encounters didn't matter.

The McCain campaign must be going down in flames. Couldn't have been more than two weeks ago this late night talk show host sliced and diced the good Gentleman from Arizona.

Singer Leona Lewis just said no to animal product promotion. PETA's World's Sexiest Vegetarian refused a cool one million pounds to open a sale at Harrods, claiming the sale of such goods constitutes animal cruelty.

Disney's Bambi has been named top tear-jerker of all time and credited with turning Sir Paul McCartney into a lifelong vegetarian. Becoming somewhat outspoken in his old age, the cute Beatle recently launched a McDonald's boycott and issued a new album with lyrics trashing ex-wife Heather Mills.

R.I.P. Eileen Herlie. There was a time when my world revolved around the Fargates and that hussy Erica Kane.

60th Primetime Emmy New Category Awards

The 60th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards did a night of firsts at the the Nokia Theatre in Hollywood. A preliminary list of winners is here.

I love how they call the winners "outstanding" whatever in their category. Not "best" just "outstanding." That gave me an idea. Why not make up some "outstanding" categories from last night's broadcast and crown my own winners? Better than writing a diatribe. For better or worst (this is really a late post), here goes.

Outstanding Hot Outfit: There was low, low cut, chic, and chic sexy. There was Christine Applegate looking radiant and oo-lah-lah (I hope she does kick Christian Slater’s behind in their time slot). And then there was Julia Louis-Dreyfus. In a smoke’n hot apricot gown, Louis-Dreyfus emanated from the stage of a New York diner reminiscent of a Seinfeld episode, "The Contest." She later lost in her category to Tina Fey who graciously mentioned her as comic inspiration.

Outstanding Surprise of the Evening: I strongly disagree that the evening held few surprises why, it’s hard to narrow them all down. For instance, I had no idea Lorne Michaels actually wrote for Saturday Night Live. I thought he just lorded over cast members. Rob Reiner writing for The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour? I thought Meathead was his only TV credit. Who knew Tommy Smothers got high in 1967? Or that Martin Sheen would utter the least controversial political statement of the evening (everyone needs to vote)? And was that David Morse on stage with the winning cast of Mad Men? Didn’t he play some part in runaway winner John Adams? But to me, the biggest surprise of the evening was how Presenter Neil Patrick Harris and I thought exactly the same thing at almost exactly the same time. Howie Mandel’s yarblings and Steve Martin gushings were tremendous wastes of time, especially in light of presenters and winners being rushed off stage.

Outstanding "What’s YOUR problem?" Moment: This was a toss up. After accepting her award and making a nice short statement, Glenn Close had the gall to eat up more time babbling about some "Sisterhood of the Traveling Divas," ostensibly including the likes of her, Dame Judi Dench, and others (bet Dame Judi loved being included in that category). Still, the winner is Howie Mandel. After doing his St. Elsewhere rap, Howie asked specific members of the audience, "Why do you applaud?" The bit was barely funny. Degrading members of the audience for their polite reaction was downright rude.

Outstanding Presence of Mind During "Get the Hell Off the Stage" Music: Steve Colbert who won for best writer. As the music tried to shush him away, Colbert had the fortitude to thank Jon Stewart for humble beginnings and his wife and family for all their support.

Outstanding Production Gaffe: Mike flubbings for Vanessa Williams and America Ferrera and some nincompoop cut off Tom Hanks’ acceptance speech (don’t they know he is Hollywood royalty?). Perhaps winners Glynn Turman and Cynthia Nixon weren’t supposed to present three successive times. But, the home audience never saw the presenter for outstanding actor in a drama series (Keifer Southerland?) because production came back so late from commercial. Whoever is responsible for that idiotic move, you win.

Outstanding Presenter Who Couldn’t Get a Laugh if His Life Depended On It: No, it wasn’t Ricky Gervais trying to tickle his Emmy away from Steve Carell. Loved how Carell would not crack a smile. Tom Bergeron of Dancing With the Stars wins hands down. Hated that drama/comedy drop gag and the rest of his performance was as flat as toilet paper.

Outstanding "Wait Until I Get You Home" Look: Love the Rickles and love that he got two standing ovations. They tried to snuff out his line about the O.J. jury (all white front row) and "The Emmy goes to Herbie Dickman" line went right over my head. But the look on wife Barbara’s face when he said, "Today she sits in Malibu on the sand with the jewelry signaling ships," had me rolling. I imagine by now she’s used to the embarrassment.

Outstanding Cast in a Time Warp: They either have the best makeup artists, face lifts, and hair colorists in Hollywood or the fickle finger of fate has smiled on their saggy behinds. The five-member presenters of Laugh-In, especially Gary Owens, are amazingly well preserved. Jon Stewart leaning in for the French kiss win with Ruth Buzzy only to have her clobber him with that ratty brown handbag was one of the evening’s highlights.

Outstanding Cast in Time to Move On: Presenters Mary Tyler Moore and Betty White. If you’re going to do face lifts, you really should do them right. Are these grand dames of TV in their 80s? 70s? MTM’s face was so tight you could bounce a quarter off it. Don’t get me started on Betty White’s retirement colony pantsuit.

Outstanding Political Commentary: The award goes belatedly to Tommy Smothers. After accepting his long denied best writing award from 1968, Tommy had the best political lines of the night. "I can't stay silent when hearing peace is only attainable through war. Nothing is scarier than watching ignorance in action. I’m accepting the Emmy on behalf of other people who won't be silenced. Truth is what you get other people to believe." The audience laughed, but he wasn't joking.

Runners-Up: Laura Linny, lead actress in a miniseries or movie, saved time by thanking supporters privately and showed appreciation for "great community organizers who organize our country." Feigning disdain for political commentary, presenters Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert instead did a metaphor about prunes. Colbert said, "America needs a prune, granted shriveled and at times hard to swallow, but this dried up old prune has the experience we need," while Stewart countered, "After eight years, you would think America would have had enough." Kirk Ellis who won for best writing for miniseries John Adams had the grace to thank Tom Hanks and add "A period in our history when articulate men articulated complex thoughts in complete sentences. They used words ---" and yikes, got cut-off. Must have been a Republican in the tech booth.

Outstanding Imitations Making Gallagher Look Good: Josh Groban. Suicide was not painless as he sang theme songs from M*A*S*H to The Love Boat, to Mr. Rogers Neighborhood to the gospel style of The Jeffersons. Esther just Rolled over in her grave.

Outstanding Catch Phrase: Hard to pick just one. There was Barry Sonnenfeld who won best director for a comedy series, Pushing Daisies. "Love TV and fear the Internet." Tom Hanks acknowledged Presenter Sally Field as "Mom" and almost launched into a Forrest Gumpism. Guess he forgot about their roles in Punchline. Then there was Don Rickles, big winner after fifty-five years of no acknowledgments saying, "This crap got me no place." Paul Giamatti, best lead actor in a miniseries or movie, thanked "my fake wife, Laura." However, Tina Fey, big winner of the evening, also wins this category with the line, "Better to be a writer than an actor. At weddings, people are less interested in talking to you."

Outstanding Classy Remark: Even though they sat the cast of House way toward the back, Greg Utanes, best director of a drama series, thanked the Academy. And Presenter Sandra Oh acknowledged and waved hello to her parents. Winner? Seven times nominated first-time winner, Alec Baldwin, for outstanding lead actor in a comedy series. He was the first of many who was gracious enough to thank his co-nominees. Other winners followed his lead throughout the rest of the evening.

Outstanding Missed Opportunity: Presenter Bill Peterson, aside from wearing some questionable black number with velvet-looking lapels, let the biggest opportunity for a laugh slip right past his fingers. After accepting Tom Wilkinson’s award on his behalf, and hearing Conan O’Brien say he would hand an award accepted for someone else to Steve Carell, it would have been hysterical if Peterson had actually handed Wilkinson’s Emmy to Carell.

Outstanding Theory About Mad Men's Win: It was the only nominee in the drama category that had more than one word in its title.

Gone But Not Forgotten: George Carlin, Bernie Brillstein, Joey Bishop, William F. Buckley, Charlton Heston, Les Crane, Alice Ghostly, Ivan Dixon, Cyd Charisse, Mel Ferrer, Claudio Guzman, Barry Morse, Deborah Kerr, Larry Harmon, Estelle Getty, Roger King, Sydney Pollack, Ron Leavitt, Bernie Mac, Eric Lieber, Suzanne Pleshette, Abby Mann, Dick Martin, Delbert Mann, Harvey Korman, Jim McKay, Lois Nettleson, Mel Tolkin, Richard Widmark, Stan Winston, Tim Russert, and Isaac Hayes.

Outstanding Line of the Evening: Jeff Probst, first winner as outstanding lead for a reality program category. "G’night."

Sarah Palin Too Sexy for Her MILF

Sarah Palin "has yet to say so much as hello to the press corps." She'd rather spend the plane ride from Reno to Denver scrutinizing her SNL spoof.

Personal mission to uncover and destroy every scintilla of media bias or too sexy for her MILF?

Indulging the media with a short question and answer, then catching the viral video like the rest of the planet must not be Sarah's style.

[Source]

Saturday Night Live Plugs Sarah Palin Credentials

If you consider being a GILF, the ability to see Russia from home, and a fervent desire to become president credentials.

Celebrities Trash Sarah Palin and Mo' Gossip

The Rush Limbaugh Show painted Eva Longoria Parker as the latest celebrity to voice her opinion about the qualifications of Republican V.P. Nominee Sarah Palin. In an unverified promotion for tonight's 2008 Alma Awards, Longoria Parker reportedly stated, "After four years of sex and treachery in Desperate Housewives, I thought I was a perfect pick for vice president." We thought she was the perfect pick for baby bump speculation, but what do we know?

An airport paparazzo suffered a "gak" attack at the hands of musician Kanye West and his manager, Don Crowley. Facing charges of felony vandalism, West was released from police custody Thursday afternoon. "We back in the lab!!! I'm cool with the paparazzi. This guy wasn't cool. I gotta work now... I'll rant later," wrote West on his blog. All good about being cool, but did he ever stop to think the problem might not be the cameraman?

Appearing in Toronto to denounce animal abuse, former Baywatch babe Pamela Anderson had some more choice words for Sarah Palin. "I can't stand her," Anderson told E! News Weekend Canada. "She can suck it!" Oh come on, Pam. Say how you really feel.

The lively ladies of The View hosted Senator John McCain, then grilled their guest with accusations of lies, distortions, and walking in lock step with his party. McCain claimed he was the same guy as always, a maverick who will clean up Washington. Using what -- a hunting guide from Dick Cheney?

Saturday Night Live will premiere its new season this weekend with guest host Michael Phelps, Baltimorean and Eight Time Olympic Medal Champion. Speculation is rampant about the actress best suited to play Sarah Palin. Yes, there's a certain separated at birth look about Tina Fey and Gina Gershon, but my money's on Kristen Wiig. What do you think?

Silly Haikus With Slice of Celebrity Gossip

Every now and then, a circuit trips. A glitch in the well-oiled machine. We interrupt this celebrity politics blog for a quick trip to the gas pump and massive replenishing of the wallet. In the meantime, enjoy my mental breakdown.

Good gawd, look at you
Somebody finally snapped
Blue is your color

No idea whether this facockte shockwave will load in your browser. Thrown in for good measure. Cheers!

Hey girlfriend, you rock
Kiss kiss. Paris sends regrets
That's so yesterday




Let the Sunshine in
Oh wait, she walked out the door
You can still save face



Sadly, after three years of dating and less than eight weeks of marriage, SNL alum Chris Kattan and model Sunshine Tutt are on a hard break. Can they find a way back to happily ever after? Guess it's back to the salt mines.

Mike Myers Schwings John McCain Fan Club Advertisement

Here we go again. Don't those McCain staffers know when to quit? I mean, is "Fan Club," their latest attack against Barack Obama for real? It looks like a computer science project spliced together by a 10-year old.

Now all we need is a viral video response from Wayne and Garth, aka Mike Myers and Dana Carvey, declaring their joint candidacy from a roach infested basement in Aurora, Illinois. Didn't those two perform a similarly inspired sketch at this year's MTV Movie Awards?

Wait a minute. I think I'm gonna hurl.

Okay, I'll take the bait, although a remake of campaign McCain's homepage looks suspiciously like the gateway to Barack Obama's fan club. Hey, I'm ready to sign on for dreamy eyes. But wait. Isn't this McCain's campaign website?

I'm soooooo confused!

Ignoring the possibility of a set-up, as in "I think we're not in Kansas any more," the latest stink between campaign McCain and SNL royalty is so far over the top we may all be getting punk'd.

Ashton Kutcher, is that you?

Maybe not. In case you haven't already put two and two together, campaign McCain "is not worthy," having once again stepped over the line of ethical behavior by using protected intellectual property without first securing permission from the rightful owners.

At least Mike Myers had the stones to scream copyright infringement, although fat lot of good it did with the video still parked on YouTube. So the offending final minutes won't appear on television. Big deal. How many donors will receive emails with the password for private viewing? Isn't that the same as Camp McCain plowing full speed ahead?

Michael Goldfarb, staffer of The McCain Report, laments cutting the Wayne's World bit off the official ad, casting some sort of vast left wing Hollywood conspiracy theory or possible plot of another Star Wars sequel as culprit.

Goldfarb is so far off the mark, I'm ready to blow chunks.

Just who does the Senator from Arizona think he is using celebrity copyrights and trademarked material like they're lazily floating about in the public domain, ripe for the pickings of any Washington insider with an itchy lasso?

Self-absorbed maverick? More like bubble-headed lamebrain.

Typecasting McCain and cronies desperately want to pin on Obama.

[Source]

Better to Be Leisurely Than Funny or Die

As a rule, by the time the MSM sinks its collective teeth into an entertaining vehicle of originality, the model has been driven around the blogosphere so many times it's scrap metal.

Keeping up drives me bonkers, the challenges many. Back in my dating days, my mother helped keep my chin up with a gentle reminder. It only takes one. Mom never said anything about finding the "right" one, but hey, no body's perfect.

These days, I'm on the prowl for that lucky break, the story that will push this enterprising upstart into the stratosphere of "must reads" allowing yours truly to live out the rest of her storied existence in a tattered bathrobe and three day old underwear.

How's that for setting the bar? A girl can dream, can't she?

She can also waste her time watching too many videos.

This morning was no exception. I don't know what I was thinking, maybe that I could sift through the drek of video repositories magically locating the one shining jewel that would finally allow me to lead an El Dorado life of leisure...maybe...possibly...

No such luck to save my life.

Still, there's one thing the publicity-grubbing whores and hard-scrabble publishing hounds can't take away from me. I know what I like. And last night's Hilton rebuke was hilarious. Of course when WBAL radio talk show host Shari Elliker mentioned it on today's program, I knew right away the feng shui had run dry.

Time to move on to the next big thing. If you can call it that. And I think I can.

FunnyOrDie.com started out as a somewhat eclectic collection of video talent, the brainchild of former SNL funnyman Will Ferrell, John Hugh's successor Judd Aptow, and some other dudes I've never heard of who must be very big names in the biz. After one of Ferrell's productions went viral, I wandered around for a look see, occasionally embedded a funny video or two, then continued along my merry way.

It never occurred to me to lay anchor. I already spend so much time over at YouTube, they could name a link after me. Why punish myself with yet another account? Only recently, in part due to the Hilton viral, did I return to Ferrell's upstart. And let me tell you, FunnyOrDie is not just another receptacle for lousy video.

It's a niche site for lousy video showcasing celebrities.

To someone like me, that's radical. No more network middle people. Just raw creativity in all its naked glory, good or bad, funny or die, leaving me to decide which videos to promote or kick to the curb. Awesome.

Don't get me wrong, anyone can open an account, upload videos and grow an audience. Just like YouTube, the site attracts raw talent, some of which comes off the street and some of which is mainstream Hollywood. The main difference is the way the place connects people like me with mainstream talent, something I hopefully plan to leverage for the benefit of The Spewker in the months to come.

Before the Googleplex gets some lame idea to start a "Celebrity" category over at YouTube, a few words of advice (look at me throwing out words of advice to the Googleplex - as if). Don't. If this rube from Pigtown is using a dinky blog to promote FunnyOrDie as THE site for the next hot property, it can only mean one thing. This ship has sailed. Ferrell is the original. And when it comes to entertainment, nobody -- not even a Baltimore hon -- will flock to a knock-off.

Okay, maybe a Baltimore, hon....

In the meantime, here's a sampling of Whitehouserace, a farcical series mixing up politics and pop culture in a way that skewers everyone. Nobody escapes unscathed, plus the changing intro voice over is pure gold.

The creative genius behind the "23.95" series should upload more episodes before the general election. This sampling is at least seven months old. Outdated but not forgotten. FunnyOrDie has hit its stride.

I'm not sure why, but embedding these videos isn't working. If the problem doesn't correct itself, you can view the episodes here and here.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

The Video Software Ate My Homework

Honestly, I spent my entire Sunday trying to create a 10 minute video with some new fangled computer program I picked up at Best Buy. Every time I thought I had the hang of it, something else crunked out. Maybe the technology gods will take pity on my poor decrepit soul.

This situation reminds me of those shiny pearls of wisdom from kinky-haired Roseanne Rosanna Dana, aka the late great Gilda Radner of SNL fame who was better known for getting something stuck between her teeth than dispensing good advice.

"It just goes to show. It's always something."

In light of the late hour or early morning, whichever floats your boat, today's articles will have a slightly different format. Short, sweet, and to the point. Some may succinctly say it all with just a glance and a wink.

And who knows, you may like it. If so, spread the word. This could turn into a regular Monday occurrence.

Maybe It's the Combover: A Night at the Roxbury Reduced to Commercial

Ever wonder how a great idea gets reduced to a 2008 Super Bowl commercial? I did last night as I watched the truncated version of Pepsi's "Wake Up People" campaign. All that seems to be left of this major motion picture production is the combover guy nodding off at a diner.

The original "Roxbury Guys" would have found a way to exploit that flying wisp of hair. Heck, they'd probably offer to make combover guy an honorable Butabi.

Not familiar with the classic Saturday Night Live "Roxbury Guys" sketch created by cast members Will Ferrell and Chris Kattan? The running gag of shiny suited brothers, Steve and Doug Butabi out on the town, bobbing their heads in syncopated rhythm to Haddaway's Don't Hurt Me? At clubs, high school dances, etc., the boys stand together, a sea of dancers splitting, revealing two bobbleheads at the bar. Always mistakenly exchanging dance requests with prospective partners, it wasn't unusual for one of them to suddenly grab some unsuspecting female. The punchline, if you will, has the poor woman bouncing back and forth between both men. The bopping of heads and ravaging of dance partners made the skit an instant hilarious classic which, I suppose, is the reason Pepsi decided to tweak the idea into a commercial for soft drinks.

In 1998, Ferrell and Kattan earnestly attempted to stretch this ten minute gag into an hour and twenty minute movie. A Night at the Roxbury is the reference point for most people making a connection between the Pepsi commercial and the Butabis. The film wasn't well received, but then again, Ferrell and Kattan have always resonated more with their fans than the critics.

If these are the best out takes from the movie, this is one time I'm on the side of the critics. But I disagree with people who suggest the sketch was too flimsy for a feature film. "Roxbury Guys" had all the right elements for a feature film if it had stuck with the original punchline. Even in this short movie compilation, the essential elements of the gag -- losers who knock around women wanting nothing to do with them -- are nowhere to be found.

For some reason, mostly all that remains of the Roxbury sketches on the Internet are videos featuring SNL guest host Jim Carrey as Mark Butabi, third brother of Doug and Steve.

The episode aired in Season 21 on May 18, 1996, catapulting "Roxbury Guys" into a stratosphere reserved for SNL legends, much like Gilda Radner's Lisa Lubener, Eddie Murphy's Mr. Robinson, and Billy Crystal's Ricardo Montalban. Perhaps Carrey's edge was the impetus needed to propel the skit into a movie, but it was not the first, nor the last time "Roxbury Guys" had staked a claim at SNL.

The brothers Butabi appear to have made their debut in Season 21 on March 23, 1996. Phil Hartman, a former cast member later murdered by or with his wife, guest hosted. The boys bopped their heads to the beat of Haddaway, hanging out in a bar to harass fellow cast member Cheri Oteri. Obscure cast member David Koechner may have played the bartender. Ferrell says the characters were based upon an actual club guy in Santa Monica. No known video footage of the original sketch could be found at the time of this article.

On September 18, 1996, celebrated actor Tom Hanks hosted the show, joining the "Roxbury Guys" for another skewer of Cheri Oteri and a taste of their own medicine.

Tom Hanks with Roxbury Guys. sélectionné dans N.C.

Why Kattan stayed behind bars with those gang bangers when the cell door remained open is a mystery of live sketch comedy. When Don Pardo announces, "Live from New York, it's Saturday Night" for each show, he really means "live."

On December 7, 1996, former cast member Martin Short guest hosted episode 414. Some of that footage is mixed in with the Helen Hunt episode below. Short played a foreign relative of the Butabis out for a night on the town and a peep show. If memory serves me correctly, the gag involved a somewhat naked woman with pasties shaking her stuff as the door to the peep opened and closed at the sexiest moment. Each time it reopened, the girl was gone or someone unexpected had taken her place. Short stood there with a glazed look in his eyes grabbing for the girl, but the episode was largely forgettable. I think it ended with him being revived with heart paddles on the operating table, but, baby, don't quote me (no more).

On February 22, 1997, Season 22, episode 420 aired with Alec Baldwin as guest host. Baldwin's Butabi looked like a younger version of himself in outtakes and photos. Unfortunately, I can't find anything online other than what's mingled with Helen Hunt. Gold chains, big hair, and shiny suit. Judging from the out takes, Baldwin is the lucky friend who nabs the girls in the sketch described as "Doug and Steve get flustered."

Tina Turner performed Proud Mary live as the evening's musical guest. Now that was something spectacular. Baldwin hosted the show so many times with so many other memorable performances, it's difficult to recall exactly how he held up as a bobblehead. As with the premiere sketch, at the time of this article, other than what may be mixed into the Helen Hunt video below, no known footage of his appearance exists online.

Episode 424, Season 22, aired on April 19, 1997. Pamela Anderson had a series of mad encounters with the boys throughout the night that ended, as usual, with the Butabis leaving the scene empty handed.

Pamela Anderson with Roxbury guys. sélectionné dans N.C.

Sylvester Stallone guest hosted the show, playing "Roxbury Rocky" in Season 23. The sketch aired on September 27, 1997.

Roxbury guys with Sylvester Stallone sélectionné dans N.C.

I never sat through all the Rocky sequels, but I assume the kids running around Sly have something to do with a plot line from one of them. Yawn.

On December 13, 1997, in episode 435, Helen Hunt guest hosted, appearing as a psychoanalyst for the Guys after her Best Actress Oscar win for As Good As It Gets. Co-star Jack Nicholson made a riveting cameo appearance that nearly brought down the house. Unfortunately, this compilation video is the best I could find. Apparently, many of the "Roxbury Guy" videos have been removed from YouTube for copyright violations. Somehow, they missed this one. Let's hope they don't find and unembed it before you finish this article.

What may be the final Roxbury sketch first aired on September 26, 1998. Cameron Diaz guest hosted, appearing as the mysterious woman who finally lets the Guys take her home.

Roxbury Brothers avec Cameron Diaz sélectionné dans Humour et Sketchs

When the episode aired again on Comedy Central around 9/11, I remember the country, for the most part, still being in a state of shock, workers tearing up Ground Zero digging for survivors, and later for recovery of human remains, at least what hadn't been completely incinerated. It's almost seven years later, yet I haven't quite fully recovered.

Yes, it served as an awful reminder of a horrendous American tragedy. Fellow Americans need your help. Donate. Give blood. The mood of the country? Fairly morose would be an understatement.

And then, Dan Ackroyd and Steve Martin made it all disappear. For a moment, I know I was -- perhaps anybody watching the episode who had been a fan since SNL's inception was -- transported back to a kinder, gentler, happier time. Not that the late 70's weren't turbulent. They were. And like today, gas prices were bringing down the economy.

But back then, watching the Not Ready for Prime Time Players, I could always count on a lift in my spirit. So many classic sketches and characters. The Fenstruk Brothers -- plaid clad clashing barfly foreign imbeciles, never got the girl, always acted inappropriately -- made me burst out laughing each time they gyrated their hips and pointed those fingers. "We are two wild and crazy guys," uttered in the foreign accent of people barely able to speak English was a catch phrase back then. Kind of in the nature of "You bet your sweet bippy," or "Mom always liked you best."

SNL has evolved a lot since then and still makes me chuckle, just not like the guffaw days of the late 1970's. The moment the Fenstruks revealed themselves at the bar, a cloud lifted. I felt happy again. And life slowly moved on.

Like the Haddaway song that started the saga, "Roxbury Guys" will live on.

A Barack Hussein Obama by any Other Name Would Still Smell as Sweet

Can I just say what I want to say without linking to anything? Because I'm so tired of backing up everything I say with fact checking links, I won't write this article if I can't just speak my mind. Why should I waste my time researching what I know other people are saying so that readers can fact check me and think, hmmmm, maybe she does know what she's spewing about. If that's what it takes to get intelligent life to pay attention, then good, I don't care, they can go read the same thing somewhere else.

Little do they know the same thing somewhere else doesn't exist. Yet. That's because I'm the original, the original thought, the original spewminator. Okay, maybe not. I just rolled out of bed. I'm sick. I'm tired. I'm sick and tired.

Good gracious, what time is it? Did I really just admit rolling out of bed at 4:00 p.m.? That was the time I started this article. So much has happened since then and I'm still in my pajamas.

The political campaign trail is heating up. It's starting to get good. The gloves are coming off and the candidates are finally out there swacking. About time. I was wondering when the dirt would start to fly.

Barack Hussein Obama.

That's the latest flap. The Republicans are getting trashed for repeating -- very slowly -- repeating the mid-dle-name of the lock nominee for the Democrats.

Oh, but I'm not counting Hillary out, no, better dare not count out She-Who-Should-Not-Be-Named, lest someone think I don't know what I'm talking about. The Clintons won't be done until America cuts off every hairy head they sprout, like the Hydra team on Celebrity Apprentice. Until there are no heads left to vanquish and the body keels over dead, a lifeless massive hulk, only then will people finally proclaim

Barack Hussein Obama

the lock Democratic nominee. Links aside, this point about not counting out She-Who-Should-Not-Be-Named, I saw someone else touch upon this subject and it was rather good. They compared Billary to the shark in Jaws, and right then and there I knew no one of any substance would dare call her out of this race -- yet. Just when you think you've pounded the slick oily beast in the head enough times to see it slink to the bottom of the ocean never to be seen again, just then, the million-toothed monster flies up out of the spray, "Auuggghhh! Auuuuggghhh!," gnawing at the boat it broke in half right before you were lucky enough to beat it back into the waves, "Auuugggghhh! Auuugggghhhh!," and you're thinking to yourself, "I thought I killed that thing. Wha jus happen't?" as it lunges for the boat and rips out your jugular.

Are we there yet?

When the Democrats can finally sing "Ding dong, the witch is dead," only then will we all be able to sit cross-legged in a big circle, strap our headbands across our foreheads, drink herbal tea, stand together, lock our arms in solidarity and sing Kumbaya.

This train is a rolling down the tracks, people. Not you, not me, not even William F. Buckley, may he R.I.P., can stop this train 'cause itsa come'n. Truth be told, I don't want to stop this train. I'm so giddy at the prospect of shaking off the stench of the Clintons, I'm right there in that circle singing "Praised Be! Glory glory hallespewya! Bring it on!"

Barack Hussein Obama

is going all the way. Barack is a lock. No matter what happens this Tuesday, the momentum of his campaign has morphed into something so much larger than the way it began. So epic, so Nostradamic, so second coming in proportions that the super delegates have already defected in droves, bowing to the will of the mighty masses no matter what wool Ohio Republicans try to pull over the people's eyes. Clinton has made mistake after mistake after mistake, in fact, she's made so many ridiculous mistakes over the course of her campaign, it would take a witch doctor to revive it. The blundering monstrosity that characterizes her campaign proves she would run this country right into the ground no matter what kind of praises people want to heap upon her.

And by the way, I was dismayed to see one of the entertainers I admire most, Tina Fey, practically gush over Billary's good qualities this past Saturday on SNL. B**ch is not the new black. Catholic school nuns scare me. There are other good, less terrifying ways to learn the capital of Vermont.



Sorry, Tina (by the way, in case you live in an oppressive dictatorship, that isn't Tina, it's a reenactment I stumbled upon), but in this case, backing the devil we know is not a good idea.

Barack Hussein Obama.

What's the problem, people? That's the man's name. That's the name his mother and father chose to give him. What? He should change it? He shouldn't be proud of his own name, is that what you people are saying? What? Other people shouldn't speak his name because it will make stupid people think he's a Muslim? Since when does the intelligentsia censure for the sake of chowderheads?

Oh my gee dee! I'm going to have to dis my own request and link to something more intelligent than this twaddle. I can't believe I'm doing this for the sake of morons. Take that! And that!And this!

Barack Hussein Obama!!!

Get used to it.

Whew. I'm tired. Will somebody bring me some coffee? And a couple aspirins? Make that Motrins, aspirin isn't supposed to be good on an empty stomach. Drat. Nobody's around. The kids are all in school. I thought for sure one of them stayed home and slept in when I went back to bed. And that husband of mine. How dare he go to work and actually earn a living when I'm home sick in bed. I think it's the flu. Or maybe the clap. I can't tell the difference. Oh yeah. One of them is more itchy.

Celebrity Politics Morsel From Heaven

With no intention of slowing down, we troll cyberspace collecting morsels of celebrity politics wherever they may hide. Only when we have amassed enough hard copy evidence of this troubling trend, only then will we consider our mission accomplished. How much is enough? I don't know. It's an instinctive "I'll know it when I see it" intuitive knowledge kind of thing.

Luckily, every now and then, one of these morsels falls into our laps. I say luckily because we just wrapped Moan Quivers' live blog of the Oscars and still have work to do. Put another pot of coffee on the stove! It's going to be a long and lonesome night.

The mixture of reality and fantasy in this Billary article was too good to pass by. Last Saturday's SNL, first live episode since the writers went back to work, hit a high note. Funny skits. No noticeable mistakes. Tina Fey should be proud. Now, one of the all-time best episodes of SNL -- one of my all-time favorite TV shows -- holds a place of high honor in the raison d'etre of this blog.

America is fast becoming a culture of superficiality and fluff while the majority of us are too distracted to care. Another drop in the bucket. Our mission continues.

Barack and Hillary Compete on New Reality TV Program

Interrupting reality to present the all new reality TV game show, Presidential Rock Star.

Playing for the Democrats, we're down to just two contestants, each battling for the semi-final nominee round, and eventually, the coveted title of America's presidential rock star. Today's show will determine the face off nominee who will then go head to head with our Republican challenger.

America, are you ready? Over here, is our underdog contestant, the one with the least amount of votes heading into this week's next round of primaries. Give a warm round of applause for the junior senator from New York, Hill-a-ree Clin-ton!



Ooo. Eeek. Yech. One of our judges is headed for the door. Come back, sit down. You're not getting off that easy. Yes, I know the words are "...Oh say does that Star Spangled Banner..." not "...our Star Spangled Banner..." I don't know where she learned the words to the national anthem, but that's no excuse to be rude, now sit down. Guess that explains her Iowa results, though. Moving on...



Yee-owch. Even a Hillary fan thinks this tone deaf rendition of James Cleveland's Great Freedom Hymn is as corny Kansas in August. Not getting many brownie points for that one, I'm afraid. The judges don't look happy. You need to do some fancier footwork here, Hillary, if you want to pull ahead. What's that? You can dance, you say? I've gotta see that. Go ahead, show us your chops.



Oh my. This is not good. Not good at all. Fancy footwork is not supposed to be coming out of your mouth. Doublespeak is not a dance. What? You do impressions? Our contestant says she does impressions. She wants to do an impression, is that what you said, Hillary? She's shaking her head yes. Okay, audience, it's unconventional, but we're letting her go for it. Put your hands together for Hillary's world famous impression of iron lady, Imelda Marcos...



Is that some kind of sick joke, I mean, are we looking at some blooper reel here? What was that? The judges are shaking they're heads and my producer is urging me to move on. We're running out of time, audience, so let's give it up for our second contestant...the junior senator from Illinois, Ba-rack O-ba-ma!



Wow. Nice cameo. Powerful speaking voice. Engaging eye contact. Knows his lines without cue cards. I had no idea he could act, did you know Barack could act, judges? That's a big plus in this contest. The judges are all smiles, but our producer is moving this segment along because we're running out of time. On to Barack's next segment.



Oh yeah. Smack dat. Look at him. He's got groove. He's got feeling. Are you feeling this, man? I think I am. Studio audience, this is beginning to look like a no brainer. But wait a minute. Hold that thought. Looks like the contestants are taking matters into their own hands. They're having their own private discussion. Let's listen in.



Shut my mouth. Just look at how well they work together. My goodness. These two are virtually indistinguishable. When you put them right next to each other, Hillary's dissonant warblings are down right tolerable. The judges are nodding. It looks like these two may be on to something. The judges are getting ready to vote. They're turning their cards around. They're looking rather smug.

Holy moly! It's unanimous, folks. A dead heat. A tie! Meaning we go to our tie breaker round. Barack and Hillary will both star in our off, off, off-Broadway musical to break this lock. If we have to, we'll go all the way down to the wire, letting super delegate reviews decide. The way things look right now, we might not have a choice. Hey! No booing. No. I mean it. We here at Presidential Rock Star had a feeling it might come to this, so we are totally prepared. Take a peek at this outtake from the tie breaker off, off, off-Broadway musical, coming soon to a theatre near you.



What's that? Why of course, Barack has top billing. His agent said he wouldn't sign unless his name came before hers. But look, to be fair, the supporting cast is non-partisan. So, there you have it. Join us in August when super delegates reviews will be in, helping our judges decide which of these two talented contestant should move to the final round as our Democratic nominee.

Until then, this is your happy host from Presidential Rock Star with a friendly reminder for everyone in our television audience, "You reap what you sow, so better not sew a sow's ear." Toodle-loo!

Writers Strike Kicks Golden Globe Awards in the Teeth

The entertainment industry is in trouble when my children begin complaining about the current wasteland that is television.

For more than ten weeks, the Writers Guild of America has taken its cause to the streets, going head to head with the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers, giving the evil eye to late night TV hosts, putting the kibosh on sexy award shows, and digging their heels in for the long haul. ABC Studios recently ratcheted things up a notch by terminating writer development agreements and work contracts. Things seem to be going south fast.

The reasons behind all this misery are not difficult to understand. For anyone still in the dark, a humorous explanation from former SNL alumna Tim Kazurinsky should clear up any misconceptions.



Last night, one of the premiere award shows, the Golden Globes, was reduced to a press conference with video clips. Tinseltown continues to mourn. Calling the format entertaining would be a stretch, although seeing the whole program in under an hour definitely had its advantages. Sure, I missed the red carpet, the glitz, the dresses, and all the interviews, don’t get me wrong. However, I can’t remember the last time I didn’t spend an entire evening glued to a television set just to find out the names of the winners. There's something to be said for streamlined viewing.

Sadly, the Academy Awards may fall victim to the same fate. Advertisers are scouting alternatives. Things have gotten so precarious, the cavalry is headed for Dodge. All around nice guys Tom Hanks and George Clooney have offered to mediate. No word on whether the feuding Hatfields and McCoys have decided to come in from the rain.

As a writer myself, it’s hard not to sympathize with the WGA. They just want their piece of the pie, not a kick in the crack. Writers suffer stints of unemployment like everyone else and need residuals to help carry them through. Studio heads insist they aren’t turning a profit on the Internet, yet they’ve been whistling a different tune to their shareholders. Writers deserve better.

Offering a cut of net profits is not the solution. Creative accounting techniques can make profits look like deficits. No, the studios must cough up a percentage of gross advertising revenue to end the strike. The Guild recently negotiated similar deals with Worldwide Pants, David Letterman’s production company, United Artists, and The Weinstein Company.

If it’s too much to ask fat cat media conglomerates to follow their lead, then conglomerates will have to suffer the consequences. Just like when television exploded in the 1950’s, thereby relegating radio to a back seat, so too will the Internet explode. Television could then head into a tailspin from which it may never recover. Public viewing preferences will change.

When the dust settles, I have a feeling the writers will land on their feet. They can jump ship to the Internet if that’s where the audience lands. But studio heads may not be as lucky. Their ships may become empty vessels.

Adam Sandler Pounds Potter at the Weekend Box Office

Okay. I'm late on this. I know. Can anyone keep up with all the breaking news on the Internet? Come to think of it, I have been more distracted since I started this blog. Is it any wonder? Now I understand why most stories are reduced to a sound byte here or a video clip there. There's simply too much information to process. Eventually, I'll get the hang of things, but for now, please be patient while I develop a rhythm.

I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, the new flick featuring Adam Sandler and Kevin James, trounced Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix at the weekend box office, to the tune of $34.2M v. $32.5M. The statistics already are obsolete. The part that interests me is how the take compares to previous Sandler blockbusters. Kinda shabby. And those didn't include Jessica Biel, sexiest woman alive, semi-nudie scenes. Hmm. Could be a sign we've only seen round one of Harry Potter and the Pounding of Potter Mania.

I forgot about second runner-up, Hairspray, rounding out the field at $27.5M. Just like Ross Perot tipping an electorial win for Clinton in the 1992 presidential election, Baltimore's own star-studded musical may have tipped the weekend gross in Sandler's favor. Unlike the presidential elections, in the movie biz, there's always next week. Critics can spend the rest of this week pondering and analyzing whether Sandler's triumph was a blip on the radar screen, TKO, or down for the count.

Quite accidentally, while phishing around YouTube, I came across this amazingly funny SNL skit. Saturday Night hasn't been this good since Phil Hartman, rest his soul, was one of its stars. I can't get over how much Travolta, who must have been guest hosting, looks like his Saturday Night Fever self. And Sandler's Epstein is a riot. Yes, under that Kotter fro is the voice of Shrek. And the suprise appearances from major TV stars of Kotter's time...well...I'm not going to spoil it. You'll just have to watch.

If anyone knows who played the part of the principal, will you please let me know? This time, I'm for real.