Showing posts with label Gyllenhaal Related. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gyllenhaal Related. Show all posts

The George Clooney Curse, Lohan Christian Values, and Other Celebolitic Shorts

Honest Abe awaits his close up on the red carpet
This site isn't the only one mixing up politics and celebrities. In today's "Bastard Child," a sampling of mutant celebolitic spawn from around the country.

Does dating George Clooney cause a curse on future hapiness? Yes, according to Britain's Next Top Model judge Lisa Snowden. "It's not something I planned but I just don't get asked out any more. Men seem to look at me and think, 'She went out with George Clooney, what chance have I got?'" The 36-year old model also says her five year on-again-off-again relationship with Clooney hurt her career.

Australian Idol winner Kate DeAraugo won't be hawking diet products on behalf of weight loss conglomerate Jenny Craig. Citing "personal health issues," the break-out star is otherwise mum about the reason for the split.

Actor Richard Dreyfus wants his money back. In a lawsuit filed last Friday against his father and uncle, Dreyfus claims damages of $870,000.

Michael Lohan says his Christian faith would prevent him from giving away famous daughter Lindsay in a gay wedding ceremony. When discussing Lindsay's public love affair with DJ Samantha Ronson, Lohan insists he wants his daughter "to be happy." Guess that Christian faith didn't get in the way of puportedly fathering Lindsay's illegitimate half-sister Ashley.

The "Lonely Loony" aka the "Lusty Lord of the Manor of Warleigh" David Piper, who once advertised for a Lady of the Manor and attracted applications from all around the world, is selling "his whole life" on eBay and hasn't ruled out the possibility of throwing himself into the bargain.

I pity the fool who thinks Mr. T is homophobic. Nevertheless, T pelted a wiggling yellow clad speed walker with candy bars, screaming "You are a disgrace to the man race. It's time to run like a real man" and "Get some nuts!" in a UK Snickers commercial. The ad was pulled after gay rights groups complained.



A dispute over a 1988 film of the late Rodney Dangerfield has been settled. Dangerfield's daughter, Melanie Roy-Friedman, allowed Comedy Central to air the master copy of her father's act without permission from stepmother Joan. Under the terms of settlement all copyrights to Dangerfield's act are held by his widow, Joan Dangerfield.

The upcoming Democratic National Convention promises a roster of stars reading like a Hollywood premiere. Big name celebrities are expected to attend parties hosted by AT&T, MTV, and Rock The Vote. Kanye West, Wyclef Jean, the rap/rock fusion band N.E.R.D., Ben Affleck, Scarlett Johansson, Warren Beatty, Annette Bening, Forrest Whitaker, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Cheryl Hines, and Ed Norton Jr. are just a few of the A-Listers convention spokesman Chris Lopez will neither confirm nor deny are on the guest list.

Can't decide who to vote for in the upcoming presidential election? Why bother with political platforms when pop culture icons might influence the vote? John McCain favors Batman, ABBA, Roy Orbison, Linda Ronstadt, Usher, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Seinfeld, Dexter, Indian Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, and Dennis Hasbert in 24. Barack Obama favors Batman, Spiderman, Frank Sinatra, Bob Dylan, Sheryl Crow, John Coltrane, M*A*S*H, The Dick Van Dyke Show, Shrek the Third, and Jeff Bridges in The Contender.




Kirsten is Just Fine. Not

Kirsten Dunst is still not over ex-boyfriend Jake GyllenhaalNo, no, Mary Jane. Say it aint' so.

Hot off her directorial debut at The Film Festival, blonde and beautiful Kirsten Dunst is reported to have checked into, a rehabilitation to the stars for substance addiction and other disorders. Just last week, reps for the Hollywood starlet insisted Kirsten was just fine.

In a tabloid world chock full of hardline partying antics, Paris, Lindsay, Tara, Britney, Amy, and Nicole standout as queens. 's fall from grace feels like a lob from left field. She's been a mere blip on gossip radar since her final split from . At least one snarky blogger suggests her recent erratic behavior resulted from a chance meeting in Utah.

If that's the case, we say get over it. There's plenty of fish in the sea. Learn from past mistakes, clean up your act, and start fresh. You've got plenty of time to meet Mr. Right. And unlike Delta Burke, you're still young with the whole world at your feet. The worst thing anyone can do is to keep beating themself up over things they can't change. Figure out what can be changed and go do it. Men are not the ice cream, they're just the cherry on the whipped cream.

Hugs and tugs to Mendes who should be shuffling back any minute.

Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal Back Together...Again

I wish these two would make up their minds. They're on. They're off. They're canoodling. They're not. Their reps confirm. Their reps have nothing to say. After a painful divorce, she needs to spend her free time with her children. He's a soul searching settling down kinda guy. She's not ready to bring him home to the kidlets. He's already planning a Thanksgiving homecoming.
Appearing together at the Italian premiere of their film, Rendition, Jake and Reese were reported inseparable and couldn't keep their hands off one another

Please. Somebody. Stop the madness. I have to get off.

Revel in the quirky chemistry. Trust again. Let the love vibes flow. Don't push too hard. Don't be so needy. Before fans can spurt "Gyllenspoon" all over the Internet, create something lasting. Make it work this time. Don't make me beg.

Call me a cock-eyed optimist, but I think there's more to these two crazy lovebirds than meets the eye.