Babs Slams Palin, Garth Goes Wailin', and Gandolfini Sets Sail'n

In today's wrap of mundane celebrity gossip...


In a surprise weekend wedding, The Sopranos big kahuna, James Gandolfini married fashion model fiance Deborah Lin. The happy couple tied the knot before 200 friends and family in Lin's hometown of Honolulu, Hawaii.

Does anyone care that the boy they said who couldn't might be quietly dating the girl of his dreams? Rumor has it that eight time in one Olympic champ Michael Phelps is planning a cozy rendezvous with American Idol star Carrie Underwood when he visits Nashville, Tennessee.

Still coming off its record breaking ratings, the Democratic National Convention continues to tally up the stars. Compiled from various sources, A-listers on the scene in Denver include Stevie Wonder, Oprah Winfrey, Steven Spielberg, Kanye West, Jamie Foxx, Charlize Theron, Anne Hathaway, John Legend, Jennifer Garner, Jessica Alba, Jennifer Lopez, Ashley Judd, Bono, Spike Lee, Ben Affleck, Cicely Tyson, Lou Gossett Jr., Alfre Woodard, Blair Underwood, Danny Glover, Pete Wentz, Cyndi Lauper, Ellen Burstyn, Kal Penn, Tony Goldwyn, Alan Cumming, Susan Sarandon, Tim Daly, Josh Lucas, Rachael Leigh Cook, Angela Basset, Matthew Modine, Rufus Wainright, Melissa Etheridge, Annette Bening, Sheryl Crow, Fergie, Rosario Dawson, will.i.am, Lily Cole, Kerry Washington, Richard Dreyfuss, Ashanti, Sarah Silverman, Chevy Chase, Giancarlo Esposito, Dave Matthews, Dana Delaney, Tim Daly, Gloria Reuben, Richard Schiff, Herbie Hancock, Chris Daughtry, Charles Barkley, Muhammad Ali, Idina Menzel, and Forest Whitaker, just to name a few.

And speaking of stars mixing their noses in politics, Barbra Streisand lashes out at candidate John McCain for his choice of a running mate. The former Hillary Clinton supporter who now backs Barack Obama calls Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin "a transparent and irresponsible decision all in the name of trying to win this election." Guess certain people don't need people as badly as the presumptive Republican nominee had hoped.

"There were times when being in the show was worse than high school. The environment there was like, 'Are you kidding me?' There was a lot of tension and unnecessary drama on the set, a certain amount of competition, and a certain, probably, anger about different salaries as the years progressed." So says Jennie Garth about her days in the 1990s fast lane, Beverly Hills 90210. The actress who is slated to star in the CW's 90210 sequel also claims turmoil on the original set turned her into an agoraphobic.

In a sad role reversal of victim and victimizer, Dame Helen Mirren recounts being date-raped, yet downgrades the possibility of sending perpetrators to prison. Women's rights groups are seeing red. Guess all those years of cocaine binging may have addled someone's brain.

The George Clooney Curse, Lohan Christian Values, and Other Celebolitic Shorts

This site isn't the only one mixing up politics and celebrities. In today's "Bastard Child," a sampling of mutant celebolitic spawn from around the country.

Does dating George Clooney cause a curse on future hapiness? Yes, according to Britain's Next Top Model judge Lisa Snowden. "It's not something I planned but I just don't get asked out any more. Men seem to look at me and think, 'She went out with George Clooney, what chance have I got?'" The 36-year old model also says her five year on-again-off-again relationship with Clooney hurt her career.

Australian Idol winner Kate DeAraugo won't be hawking diet products on behalf of weight loss conglomerate Jenny Craig. Citing "personal health issues," the break-out star is otherwise mum about the reason for the split.

Actor Richard Dreyfus wants his money back. In a lawsuit filed last Friday against his father and uncle, Dreyfus claims damages of $870,000.

Michael Lohan says his Christian faith would prevent him from giving away famous daughter Lindsay in a gay wedding ceremony. When discussing Lindsay's public love affair with DJ Samantha Ronson, Lohan insists he wants his daughter "to be happy." Guess that Christian faith didn't get in the way of puportedly fathering Lindsay's illegitimate half-sister Ashley.

The "Lonely Loony" aka the "Lusty Lord of the Manor of Warleigh" David Piper, who once advertised for a Lady of the Manor and attracted applications from all around the world, is selling "his whole life" on eBay and hasn't ruled out the possibility of throwing himself into the bargain.

I pity the fool who thinks Mr. T is homophobic. Nevertheless, T pelted a wiggling yellow clad speed walker with candy bars, screaming "You are a disgrace to the man race. It's time to run like a real man" and "Get some nuts!" in a UK Snickers commercial. The ad was pulled after gay rights groups complained.

A dispute over a 1988 film of the late Rodney Dangerfield has been settled. Dangerfield's daughter, Melanie Roy-Friedman, allowed Comedy Central to air the master copy of her father's act without permission from stepmother Joan. Under the terms of settlement all copyrights to Dangerfield's act are held by his widow, Joan Dangerfield.

The upcoming Democratic National Convention promises a roster of stars reading like a Hollywood premiere. Big name celebrities are expected to attend parties hosted by AT&T, MTV, and Rock The Vote. Kanye West, Wyclef Jean, the rap/rock fusion band N.E.R.D., Ben Affleck, Scarlett Johansson, Warren Beatty, Annette Bening, Forrest Whitaker, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Cheryl Hines, and Ed Norton Jr. are just a few of the A-Listers convention spokesman Chris Lopez will neither confirm nor deny are on the guest list.

Can't decide who to vote for in the upcoming presidential election? Why bother with political platforms when pop culture icons might influence the vote? John McCain favors Batman, ABBA, Roy Orbison, Linda Ronstadt, Usher, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Seinfeld, Dexter, Indian Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, and Dennis Hasbert in 24. Barack Obama favors Batman, Spiderman, Frank Sinatra, Bob Dylan, Sheryl Crow, John Coltrane, M*A*S*H, The Dick Van Dyke Show, Shrek the Third, and Jeff Bridges in The Contender.