Muhammad Ali Iran Visit Depends on Health and Ability to Travel

While the world stews over the possible catastrophe of popsicles in heat, otherwise known as Japan's nuclear reactors crisis, two adventure-seeking hikers remain in Iranian prisons, fighting for their lives over espionage charges. A third hiker was released on bail and returned to the U.S. last September.

No way to know if they're innocent or not, but my gut instincts say, in all likelihood, these three crazy kids -- a journalist, economist, and teacher -- are not American spies. Idiots, maybe, for thinking they could simply hike across Iran, but not spies. What spy would be dumb enough to ignore warnings and simply hike into hostile territory like Iran?

To the rescue, like the flying butterfly/stinging bee that he is, former heavyweight champion Muhammad Ali has stepped up to the plate, writing letters to Iranian Grand Pubah, The Ayatollah Khamenei, in a bid to secure the hikers' release. So far, no dice. But that has not deterred Ali. Recently, the champ has been rumbling about a personal visit to the lunatic fringe.

"If we thought that they would be released and if Muhammad's presence would have some impact on that release for the good, then, yes, we would try very hard to make sure Muhammad was able to go," his wife Lonnie Ali said. "But a lot of that, as you know, would depend on Muhammad's health. That's the bottom line."

Muhammad Ali, a sufferer of Parkinson's disease, has barely been seen in the public eye over the past decade and no longer speaks in public. I doubt he is healthy enough to trek halfway around the world on a mission like this. Parkinson's is a very debilitating neuro-muscular condition that robs its victims of the ability to move, speak, and in the end, eat. Who is going to pay for the entourage required to care for Ali as he sets out on such mission? The hikers? Their bereaved families? President Obama?

It's quite noble of Ali to go out on a limb for the cause of naive and idealistic strangers. I applaud his efforts and appeals. But honestly, isn't all this talk about traveling to Iran to plead for their release just talk? A way to garner more publicity, either for the hikers' cause or for a fading icon? Ali is an expert in the art of bluster. Why should this time be any different?


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The Tuesday Wrap:

A hero of The Venice Film Festival can now rest comfortably on his laurels. As an anxious fan almost fell into the canals below, Brad Pitt reflexively offered a hand to scoop him away. Pitt then gave the boy an autograph before making a quick exit stage left. [more]

He's here, he's there, he's everywhere. If there isn't a limit to striking the iron while it's hot, there should be. In addition to scheduled appearances on the season openers of Oprah Winfrey and Saturday Night Live, Olympic champion Michael Phelps paraded with Mickey, filmed a cameo with Ari Gold, and accepted an invitation to present at MTV's Video Music Awards. Is there anything the eight medal in one Olympian cannot do? Yeah. Lead a victory parade in his own hometown. Happy hobnobbing, Phelps. [more]

Baltimore isn't the only town holding its breath for a celebration. The Republican National Convention remains on high alert as big names cancel appearances right and left. The political correctness of Hurricane Gustav is killing 'em in St. Paul, Minnesota. Let's hope the same doesn't happen to residents of The Big Easy. [more]

CCTV had an eye-opener when actor Josh Harnett and a lady friend drew the curtains in a seemingly secluded portion of the Soho Hotel library. Little did they know, employees gawked as video cameras captured their explicit sexcapades. Afterward, Harnett was quietly asked to take his business elsewhere. [more]

Model and singer Grace Jones sent tongues wagging with a bizarre array of stage outfits and headgear. Strutting her stuff at the Electric Arena in Ireland, the fishnet clad diva's mental well-being was recently called into question. [more]

Another celebrity boy toy hits the scene, this time with 50-year old actress Sharon Stone. She and charity supporter Chase Dreyfous, 24, were recently spotted getting cozy in Malibu, California. The pair have been seeing each other for about two months. [more]

Always wanted to be a movie star but never fit the bill? Now's your chance to be a reality star... in the comfort of your living room, that is. Announcing "Imagine Movie Star." Oh yeah, it's for real. In a fantasy sort of way. [more]

And in big duh news, Amy Winehouse's incessant drug use is feared to have caused brain damage (must not go there...hold tongue....too easy... moving on). [more]


Daily Arrested:

Former British Celebrity Big Brother contestant, Jack Tweed, 21, was sentenced to 18 months in Chelmsford Crown Court for a 2006 assault. [more]

An assistant to Ginger Baker, prominent musician of the 1960s band "Cream," is on trial for twenty-seven counts of fraud. Baker had hired the former bank employee to help him with his finances only to find about 21,000 pounds missing from his account and fraud alerts disabled. [more]


Celebrity Causes:

Critically acclaimed actor Johnny Depp got on board with the Dan Marino Foundation. Depp played with former band, "The Kids" for half an hour in Pompano Beach, Florida to benefit special needs children. [more]

Kate Moss, Liam Gallagher, and Jude Law have donated personal items for charity. Among the items being sold to raise money for Breast Cancer Care are a signed pair of Christian Louboutin peep toe stilettos, a Martin Margiela suit worn in the remake of Alfie, a signed guitar, a leather jacket from Gary Kemp's days in the Spandau Ballet, and an original Jake Chapman drawing. [more]

Maybe it's a guilty conscience. Jude Law is also donating his time in war torn Afghanistan to maintain momentum for The United Nation's Peace Day celebration. Law says he wants more people to recognize the day because he believes it help save lives. [more]

"I Kissed A Girl" pop star, Kate Perry, plastered her chest to raise money for breast cancer research. Keep-A-Breast.org will receive all proceeds from the MTV video and ample bust casting. [more]

U2 frontman Bono and fashion designer Giorgio Armani have once again convinced actress Julia Roberts to design a T-shirt for charity. Her treetop acronym design will benefit the global fight against AIDS, tuberculosis and malaria. [more]

The mother of all telethons smashed records once again. The organization run by comedian Jerry Lewis raised a record $65 million for the Muscular Dystrophy Association over Labor Day weekend. [more]


Civil Matters:

Claiming age discrimination, UK Channel Five replacement Selina Scott is taking the station and its Director of Programmes Ben Gale to the London Employment Tribunal. The former face of News at Ten, age 57, claims she did not receive a final contract to fill in for pregnant newsreader Natasha Kaplinsky because Gale wanted "a younger face." [more]

Survivor producer Mark Burnett filed a complaint with the California Labor Commission alleging former associate Conrad Riggs violated The Talent Agencies Act, a little known law generally used in disputes between actors and agents. Burnett claims Riggs acted as his de facto agent, defrauding him of fees and commissions. [more]

Celebrity photographer Annie Leibovitz is being sued to pay for renovations to her Greenwich Village townhouse. Documents claim she has racked up debts totalling more than $700,000. [more]

The lies are not true. Novelist Salman Rushdie won a libel suit against former bodyguard Ronald Evans. Rather than claim damages for the harm to his professional reputation, Rushdie only sought reimbursement of legal expenses. [more]


Gone But Not Forgotten:

Host of the gardening television show, Sow What and Australian celebrity gardener, Kevin Heinze. Heart attack at age 81.

Australian actor, writer and director Michael Pate. Lung infection at age 88.

Theatrical comedian Ken Campbell. Unknown causes at age 66.

The King of Voiceovers, Don LaFontaine. Complications from pneumothorax at age 68.

Gone With the Wind suitor, Fred Crane. Complications from diabetes at age 90.

Keely Bares Icky, Madonna Tour Sticky, and Phelps Gets Wicky

Pierce Brosnan's wife, Keely Shaye Smith, gets tongues wagging by going boogie boarding in an itsy bitsy teeny weeny very mismatched blue bikini.

Director Christopher Nolan's first choice to play Catwoman in his next Batman movie may already come with a lifetime supply of whips and masks. Rumor has it that Cher is in negotiations to join the tentatively titled "Caped Crusader" film which begins shooting in Vancouver early next year.

France's new First Lady may be with child. Speculation is running rampant after paparazzi photographed President Nicolas Sarkozy affectionately patting Carla Bruni's rounded tummy during a seaside vacation.

Celebrate the Sweet 16 of Miley Cyrus at Disneyland this October. Be the first of 5,000 outrageously ga-ga fans to splurge $250 a ticket, and you too can party like a teenage rock star. Tickets go on sale August 30th at 9 a.m.

Sticky and sweet doesn't do justice to these photographs from Madonna's new world tour. The 50-year old pop sensation still has the moves of a woman half her age. Go Madge!

Could Jennifer Love Hewitt be getting cold feet? After shedding 18 pounds, the Ghost Whisperer star postponed her wedding to Sottish fiance Ross McCall, claiming different shooting schedules caused a strain on their relationship.

A hospital reportedly run by Celebrity Rehab star Dr. Drew Pinsky is under investigation. Within the past five months, three patients have died under mysterious conditions at the Pasadena facility.

To kick off Rock The Vote's voter registration drive, singer Sheryl Crow will give away digital copies of her new album Detours to the first 50,000 people who register three friends to vote. People who log on to the Rock the Vote website or join the group mailing list can also get a free download of her new song, Gasoline.

Before the Olympics wrapped, there was Olympic freestyle. Or maybe it was doggie style. No joke. Read all the sordid details direct from an Olympic insider.

Sure, everyone wanted to see photographs of Fred Phelps, estranged father of Olympic superstar Michael Phelps. But now comes word that Michael bought a multi-million dollar Baltimore condominium, snagged a book deal, AND is snogging fellow Olympian, the "racy Aussie dolphin" Stephanie Rice. Bet Fred must be kicking himself about now.

Baltimore Pride Shines Brightly for Mighty Michael Phelps

Every day, the local rag screams another headline, each progressively larger in typeset and accompanying illustrative fist pump.

"Phelps' Voyage"

"PHELPS WINS 2 MORE GOLDS"

"SOLID GOLD"

Local TV station WBAL is saturated in Michael Mania. All night long, the station broadcasts little else but the latest Bob Costas interview interspersed with Phelps' one one-hundredth of a second squeaker. Ratings trackers estimate market share near the level of a Super Bowl or American Idol finale. That's an awful lot of Pigtown TVs tuned to Channel 11.

Perhaps nothing is more testament to the electricity in the hot sticky than last Saturday's capacity crowd waiting overtime for a glimpse of his historic last relay. If ever a sea of purple demonstrated love for a hometown hero, those cheering faces on the giant screen said it all.

Do we feel betrayed by Phelps' prior move to Michigan? Naw. We all knew he was Baltimore bred and buttered. Phelps said himself that he misses the corny dialect and sidewalk establishments throughout town. Take for instance the little known breakfast establishment in the video. Can anyone still find a corner breakfast tavern like that in a big metropolitan city? Phelps shares that level of love with so many other Baltimoreans. Attached at the hip. Not ready to cut the cord.

Learning the news about Phelps and his coach moving back to the area was like absorbing a sudden bolt of lightening. Unexpected and shocking, yet strangely fascinating. Like being locked in a grip of connectedness no one quite understands and generally tries to avoid, but somehow loving every minute of it.

For a short time, Baltimore will not be the same. I don't think this town is ready for the inevitable crush of media. Ironman Cal Ripken, hometown hero that he is, is sensational and mind-numbingly popular, but I'm sure he never endured the deluge of reporters ready to descend on Phelps. Michael Phelps stands alone in athletic greatness. Ripken is more national superstar. Phelps: World phenomenon.

Some say Phelps' accomplishments this year in Beijing will be near impossible to duplicate. Increased competition, better training, better strides in swimwear as well as other factors will work in tandem, lessening the possibility for eight medals in a single Olympics.

So, at the tender age of 23, Michael Phelps may well have achieved something future generations will not. Knowing how Baltimore has buzzed about little else for a full week, I can only imagine the weight his broad shoulders now carry. He may be used to occupying the spotlight, but it may have never burned as brightly.

Let's hope Phleps can keep his meteoric rise in perspective. Lord knows, Charm City can't.

George Bush Plays Beach Bum at Beijing Summer Olympics

"Toddly" and "The Big Guy" win one for "The Dubya."

And in related beach blanket news...

"She's my little deuce coupe. You don't know what I got."

Speedo Draws Unusual Attention to Beijing Olympics

Got to hand it to the celebrity gossip blogger extraordinaire. The man who puts the "Ooooo-la-la" in the 2008 Olympics is smacking his lips over a sight poised to get plenty of attention in Beijing. Less than three more days and counting. A bit of levity to lighten up ominous vibes, no doubt.

Want to guess the identity of the mystery competitor?

Brazen PerezHilton had a few choice words for the tattoo peeking out over America's favorite speedo. Him likee what lookee be the University of Maryland insignia. Wonder if a fearsome terrapin stands at attention inside.

Oh, Perez, you bring out the worst in me. And to think, that speedo works out in my own backyard.

Gordon Brown is Upside Down and Other Celebolitic Shorts

This site isn't the only one mixing up politics and celebrities. A sampling of mutant celebolitic spawn to tickle your funny bone.

The UK's Prime Minister isn't scoring brownie points for his "Government of All the Talents." This is the second time we've observed the media taking Gordon Brown to task for hobnobbing with the stars. Sour grapes from the trade unions perhaps, although what politician in their right mind would eschew glitterati in favor of commoners?

Tennis champs Venus and Serena Williams are two celebrities who won't be endorsing a presidential candidate, though both seem excited by Barack Obama's candidacy. The pairs' Jehovah's Witness beliefs discourage voting and prohibit involvement in political affairs. Oh, those crazy mixed-up Witnesses, don't they care who throws out the first ball at the U.S. Open?

Here's a blogger who supports celebrity political involvement, reasoning celebrities pique teen curiosity in political causes. Maybe. But wouldn't they be just as likely to watch MTV? Activism comes from more than just celebrity fanaticism. On the other hand, following a politically active celebrity exposes teens to news they might not otherwise stumble upon. That's a step in the right direction even if the teen in question eventually becomes a moral degenerate drinking beer all night in their parents' living room.

When John Mayer isn't busy cheating on Jen in a fantasy dream, he's busy playing cat and mouse with the paparazzi. Mayer must fancy himself the "Jerry" in this developing sideline but with one notable exception. The mouse in Tom and Jerry didn't hang with an uber-famous girlfriend. And Mayer has a notable reputation as a "Tom."

Glory be, someone has written an entire book on this topic! And I thought we were the ones who invented it. Looks like our fledgling book project was all for naught. Oh well. Back to the drawing board.

Beyotch Swotch Catfights: Williams v. Omarosa and Danica v. Duno

Ack. No. Say it isn't so. Someone actually approved the reappearance of Stinkaroma Manigsworth-Stalwhatever on television!

Just because classless nobody publishes a predictably tell nothing book with catchy beyotch title doesn't mean anybody's going to buy it. Whoever talked Wendy Williams into bringing that street smart smack talking divorcee on her fine television program ought to be beyotch-slapped.

Better yet, "You're F-I-R-E-D."

It all started when Williams mentioned the perception of Omarosa as "ABW" (angry black woman). Stinky said she'd rather be ABW than a buffoon. At that point, Williams should have told her it was too late, but instead valiantly tried to stay the course. Meanwhile, Stinky took potshot jabs.

Then it got truly ugly. Stinky accused Wendy of being fake while Wendy in turn slowly picked her apart. As they sat there symbolically clawing away at one another, the plushy pink couch began to look more like a psycho ward chaise than a celebrity talk show perch. Honestly, their catfight was so over the top, I started to wonder whether it was staged.

There must be a strain of catnip in the drinking water because champion racing car driver Danica Patrick recently clawed it out with rival Milka Duno. Maybe the heat is starting to fry people's brains. Don't they realize they're being recorded?

Maybe like old Stinkaroma, whose 15 minutes expired an eternity ago, they simply just don't care.

FCC Fine Tossed for Janet Jackson Wardrobe Malfunction

Oh great. A three-panel appellate court invalidated indecency fines levied against network powerhouse CBS and its affiliate stations, ruling the FCC acted "arbitrarily and capriciously" in assessing the penalties.

Oh yeah? Well, five 12-year old boys were sitting on my couch watching that game, and not on MTV, I might add. I don't think their parents appreciated them getting a load of Janet Jackson's ridiculous sunburst on network TV.

That malfunction was so planned. Arbitrary and capricious my eye.

Carnival of Maryland Highlights The Maryland Bloggers Alliance

Welcome to a special edition of The Spewker on behalf of The Carnival of Maryland. Today we present hot commentary from The Maryland Bloggers Alliance, a loosely knit but jovial group of attuned and outspoken Marylanders, as well as other bloggers from in and about the area.

Bloggers of the Alliance hail from the political spectrum, from Anarchists to Libertarians, although some are just as actively involved in other pursuits. For some reason, I've always envisioned Anarchy as an extreme of the left and Libertarianism as an extreme of the right, but now that I think about it, they both advocate pretty much the same thing. Which is exactly why the Alliance works so well. See, we really can all get along.

As far as the Carnival goes, just one common denominator: we all inhabit the Land of Pleasant Living. For a popular group of bloggers, it's nice to know that's the only requirement for a place at the table.


Lifestyle Report
I'm clueless when it comes to birds. Not so at The Greenbelt. A touching and informative tale about an afternoon hunt of an otherwise elusive creature of the wild.

Raymond from Money Blue Book ponders a question he heard on the radio. "Would You Give Up Your Right to Vote for a Million Dollars?" is a cynical yet comical article about the average American mindset and personal desire.

The author of Creating a Jubilee County blogs about the perils of TMJ and what everyone should know about it. Ouch UU Mom, my jaw hurts.


Senseless Crime
From Children & Chocolate comes an insider's perspective of the horrific Browning murders, a hometown tragedy that's been terrifying parents across the nation, nay the world. "Prayer Request for Nicholas Browning" by Laura Knight Beutler may hit a little too close to home for parents of some teenagers but is well worth the read.


Be A Sport
Soccer Dad fumes at Orioles management in "Bedard to seattle!?" I can relate. "I thought this would be done by now, given that it was first announced almost 2 weeks ago," David laments. "Chalk it up to having a passive aggressive front office. As Bill Ordine writes, 'Not since Generalissimo Franco died did anything so apparently inevitable take so long to happen.'" I couldn't have said it better myself.


Sorry State of Maryland
Maryland schools are rated top notch in the country, but some continue to fail. About a week ago, Annapolis police arrested students protesting Governor O'Malley's failure to adequately fund the public school systems. A lot of politics going on and not many solutions in "Baltimore Schools to Pay Students." Going to the Mat analyzes a problem solving proposal that's been relentlessly criticized in the media.

NRA advocates beware. Your rights are being endangered by none other than the very unpopular Martin O'Omalley, and according to blogger 1947, the embattled Maryland governor should rot in hell. Stan sternly warns, "Any Maryland gun owner who says s/he is not political had better damned soon BECOME political before it's too late." No problem, Stan, sure, just as soon as you lay down that gun. Thanks.


The National Scene
Michael Swartz adds his voice to the din of Republicans blasting local party politics. Incumbent Wayne Gilchrest is locked in a tight three-way race in the First Congressional District and in "Big Money on More than One Side," Monoblogue presents the eight hundred pound gorilla in the room with apologies to Democrats in the Fourth.

Not trying to be cruel, but the Maryland Chesapeake Blog may have opined too late in "It's Time Pastor, It's Time..." I understand Republicans are disillusioned, but there's only three presidential candidates left to choose from this Tuesday and one of them is not Mitt Romney. I say, choose Chester Peake, choose.

Last but not least, on the lighter side, an article from The Spewker continues to attract attention. Check out "Celebrity Presidential Endorsements on Parade" for a comical view of the original top presidential contenders and their Hollywood entourages.


That concludes this edition of the Carnival of Maryland. Submit your blog article to the next edition of Carnival of Maryland using our carnival submission form. Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

Tags: carnival of maryland, blog carnival.

Justin Timberlake Super Bowl Commercial Misses the Mark

What an amazing Super Bowl. People can't stop talking about it. The last one and a half minutes of New England versus New York are now the stuff of football legend. Even unflappableTerry Bradshaw had his socks knocked off.

Speaking of lost footwear, I hope adolescent boys and men stuck in Peter Pan mode have a Pepsi jones and plenty of money to burn. Otherwise, that Justin Timberlake commercial won't likely cause a significant spike in Pepsi sales. I don't care what the rest of the world thinks, by the end of that ad the only people I wanted to see were the paramedics. Okay, Andy Samberg, Justin's junk in a box buddy, is an awesome blonde transvestite, but the slurpy stuff or those doodad rewards? Couldn't care less.



Ouch. OMG. Please, oh no, make it stop. Ow. Ow. Ooooo. Nooooo. Ouch! OUCH!! WTF!! Please, not there, no not in the .... OUCH!! Ooomph. Ow. Not again. That's gotta sting. Uh... here's hoping wardrobe fitted Justin with a cup of steel.

Enough. I've had enough. Make it go away. If I see any more, I'll get a charley horse from crossing my legs. Did they have to emasculate and practically kill Timberlake to go for the gold?

And this Paula Abdul comeback. What's up with that? What if someone was busy with more important stuff (like hanging with friends) during the Super Bowl pre-show? Who even knew there was a pre-show? Am I that out of it to think the football game didn't begin until game time?



Granted, Paula deserves an A for effort. She's a sexy dancer with fabulous choreography, but...erm... that song. How do I say this without sounding like Simon? It sucks. Well, that didn't go as expected. Look, that song coupled with Paula's studio enhanced lip syncing felt like waterboarding. The same beat with the same words over and over until if you're not actually drowning, you wish you were.

Paula's act needs better songs. This lip synced number from "What the Buck" is far more entertaining and the dancing is just as fun, if not better. Michael Buckley's got it going on. Surely, Paula can relate to that.

Twins Separated During Super Bowl XLII Halftime Show

Oh, come on. Put a guitar in the hands of David Spade and they're dead ringers.

BTW, there's something KA about aging rock 'n roll stars who revel in playing mega hits from yesteryear. WTG Petty and the Heartbreakers.

Doe anyone know what happened to Paula's pre-recorded video comeback?

Baseball Hall of Fame Inducts Cal Ripken, Jr.

The year was 1997. Bill Clinton began his second term as this nation's 42nd president. The Simpsons became the longest running animated series on prime time TV. Drive by shooters killed popular rapper, Notorious B.I.G. And, it was the last time the Baltimore Orioles ended the regular season with a winning record.

Ten years? Fo’ real?

Apparently, yes. Gone are the glory days of the black and orange. As far as my childerns’ generation are concerned, dem O’s are a bunch o’losers.

What went wrong? I have no idea. Nor do I plan to speculate.

I grew up in the golden age of the Orioles and the Baltimore Colts. Brookes Robinson was so popular one of my elementary school classmates was named after him. In 1983, the Orioles had just won the World Series. I watched with pride as they staged a Mardi Gras-esque parade through the streets of Charm City with Cal Ripken, Jr. at the helm. My heart swelled with pride.

Today, dem O’s couldn’t claw their way out of a wet paper bag. Our beloved Colts play for another, ahem, unmentionable city (Ravens rule!). And O’Malley still hasn’t fixed utility costs that continue to spiral out of control. How is a battle weary Baltimoron supposed to deal?

Countdown to Cooperstown!

That’s right. This morning, the Iron Man, Cal Ripken, Jr., Baltimore’s own homespun hero, will be inducted in the Baseball Hall of Fame. Cal is just the right mix of legend, consecutive games record holder, and genuine nice guy. In an honor bestowed upon select few, this exclusive club accepted his bid on a first round vote. Can anyone resist those baby blues?

Thousands of victory-starved devotees are currently swarming Cooperstown. These people are intent upon savoring the moment like a cool drink of water on a desert afternoon. Sadly, I will not be among them, but I can hear almost the thunderous applause.

Stand up and take a bow, Cal Ripken, Jr. I hear that people who think Charlestown Community resident, Al Blackburn, resembles you also believe in the Tooth Fairy. No matter what they say, or think, they cannot dispute your stature as the genuine article. A role model and hero.

Thank you for once again instilling pride in the hearts of beleaguered Baltimore fans. This day has been a long time coming.