You know, it never ceases to amaze me how many visitors peruse this blog despite the fact it has been dormant since last July, and before that, for two years. In a way, I feel badly for people dropping by to read old gossip/news. What on earth must they be thinking?
Well gee, duh, I thought Aniston got dumped over three years ago already? Olympic speedo? Aren't the Olympics next year? How embarrassing.
Then again, it's not like I'm doing anything to drive page views. I gave up on that a long time ago. I guess I should be happy there are mechanisms in place to drive page views without any input, but I don't. Mostly, I feel plain old guilty, like I should still be updating this blog to offer people something fresh after a taste of staleness. But what to offer? The same old celebrity politics? Blogger musings? Pithy reviews?
I gave up on my dream of becoming a fulltime celebrity gossip queen after sampling a bit of the work environment and realizing it wasn't for me. Who can keep track of the lives of all these famous people, let alone spell their names right? I have problems just pronouncing their names. Heaven forbid I should fumble their name in an interview.
And the climate is so back-stabbingly competitive. Sometimes, I found myself plotting revenge scenarios over the least little slight. I thought being a lawyer was bad, but you should see how people vying for celebrity access treat one another. Better yet, you should see how celebrity handlers treat people vying for access. It's downright humiliating. I can't tell you how many times I was forced into paparazzi mode just to be able to fire off a question or two or shoot a video. Or how many times I called ahead for press credentials only to be denied access for lack of name recognition.
Oh, I'm so sorry Mrs. Stick-Up-Her-Butt, I didn't know I had to work for Vanity Fair or Vogue to get a press pass to your event, but don't you think you could squeeze me in, just this once? I'm only one little old person and I don't take up much space. You'll hardly know I'm there.
Click.
After a while, I thought what's the use of trying? I mean, it's not like I was paid a fortune to write these pieces. And yes, I can still spend hours culling the news for article fodder, but I no longer hunger for the dream, if you know what I mean. It's not as if it will ever lead to something amazing.
So, if I do continue updating this blog, it would only be as a hobby. And who has time for that?
Well, surprisingly enough, me. I do have a little free time on my hands, so why the heck not? I may not write as insightfully and meaningfully as I did before, but I can still rant about the state of the union or skewer targets in the public eye.
Besides, it seems like such a shame to let all this good blog traffic go to waste, not to mention wasting the possibility of finally having Google Ads pay out. I'm more than halfway there. With a heaping helping of elbow grease and your continued patronage, I can almost smell that $100 check at my door.
Showing posts with label Nobody Cares. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nobody Cares. Show all posts
Hayden Panettiere Sets the Record Straight
Poster child for "The Truth About Celebrity Politics."
See more Judd Apatow videos at Funny or Die
Salacious Celebrity Gossip Cracks Corn and I Don't Care
In like a lion, out like a lamb. Oh wait, that folksy attribute refers to March, not April. Where does the time go? Already it's May and temperatures in the Land of Pleasant Living still fluctuate between 80 and 40. I don't know if it's sweater or T-shirt weather when I tumble out of bed.
So too goes the celebrity gossip mill. This one's now an item with this one, and this one had too much to drink with that one, and, oh look over there, isn't that one's dress positively hideous?
For crying out loud, I know this stuff brings traffic to rumor peddlers and sells newsprint to the masses, but just once I'd like to search the blogosphere and read something other than fluffer-nutter, apparently, the nuttier the better.
I must not be searching hard enough. Get a load of the blather bouncing my way this morning.
JenJohn is hot and we've got the exclusive. "John Mayer is crazy about Jennifer Aniston."
Okay, so they're banging each other. Big deal. Ugh. Are those real tattoos down his left arm? Jen's toned and tanned body is too good for this boy toy Lothario. But, hey, if she's having a good time, more power to her. I just love the way the tabloids are so quick to brand their romp in the hay as a coupling. JenJohn? Why not AniMayer? You know, "animator," as in making up this whole "they're in love" garbage. New lust is more like it. I give Jen and John's "new love" three months top, if that.
The top cover teaser, "Star's divorce shocker"? Probably something about Al liking threesomes.
Mariah Carey flashing a big pink rock from admirer Nick Cannon can only mean they're engaged. They are engaged, aren't they? Neither one of them will say.
Despite reports of nuptials?, I say the big coy signifies something entirely different than the games celebs play. Already, these rumors are being shot down. Mariah and Nick are not Jay-Z and B, nor J.Lo and Mr. J.Lo, they're not even Brangelina (I hear she's nesting in France, preparing for the big birth). Just last week, I read a piece about Carey's desire to remain solo, now suddenly everyone is whispering about an "engagement/marriage?" to Nick Cannon.
To hot meat 12 years her junior? Get real. Nick's looking like a sick puppy dog. Trying to "buy" affection with bling is as old as Helen of Troy. Besides, it's second hand bling. Carey standing around flashing her pink hunka ice all giddy and coy, lapping up the attention for all it's worth is making everyone nuts.
Restoring sanity: Mimi is just banking the publicity for a rainy day, like a scrapbook to cherish if she ever lands back on the skids.
Rotund looking ill-dressed Eva Mendes may be with child. Just look at that bulge. Maybe she'll read this and do a cartwheel to confirm.
I adore this blog, but their intern's blind item is so sightless, it begs to be flamed. Geez, just look at your own side by side comparison pix showing Eva on an exercise jog with her trainer (cropped to ensure focus). In one photo, yeah, there's some puff, while in the other, nary a bump to be had. So, maybe Mendes had a little too much to drink the night before, or she's dealing with some bad PMS. Juicy dirt this is not.
Obviously, the intern has no first-hand knowledge of pregnancy, otherwise she'd realize the dead giveaway isn't the middle part of the torso. It's the top. As in "perky swell like crazy."
Might I recommend a crash course in baby bump spotting with the jokers over at FlyNet? Nice scoop catching Jessica Simpson BFF, Cacee Cobb, while out and about in el Lay. No doubt to prevent a lawsuit, these two wild and crazy guys wonder aloud whether she might actually be with child. Someone must have tipped them off. So much better than a blind item.
Indeed, gentlemen, this one looks so preggers it hurts to blog. Odds are 2 to 1 and I'm not even a gambler..
So, for what it's worth, there you have my pitiful assessment of the celebrity gossipsphere. Give me Mary Hart officiating at a wedding staged with the Made of Honor premiere any day. Is this even legal? Oh, the joys of trend spotting. The next big thing in people who want to marry but can't afford to hire their own band. Just remember. You heard it here first.
Update: Apparently, in the span of about two hours, Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon went from flirting, to dating, to being engaged, to reportedly getting hitched, supposedly without a prenup. At least not the last time I checked. This story changes facts faster than SJP changes wardrobe in SATC: The Movie. Congratulations to the happy (giving this one year, tops) couple.
And just for the record, why no pc fire storm when Mrs. Cannon describes her new hubby as "articulate and literate?"
So too goes the celebrity gossip mill. This one's now an item with this one, and this one had too much to drink with that one, and, oh look over there, isn't that one's dress positively hideous?
For crying out loud, I know this stuff brings traffic to rumor peddlers and sells newsprint to the masses, but just once I'd like to search the blogosphere and read something other than fluffer-nutter, apparently, the nuttier the better.
I must not be searching hard enough. Get a load of the blather bouncing my way this morning.
JenJohn is hot and we've got the exclusive. "John Mayer is crazy about Jennifer Aniston."
Okay, so they're banging each other. Big deal. Ugh. Are those real tattoos down his left arm? Jen's toned and tanned body is too good for this boy toy Lothario. But, hey, if she's having a good time, more power to her. I just love the way the tabloids are so quick to brand their romp in the hay as a coupling. JenJohn? Why not AniMayer? You know, "animator," as in making up this whole "they're in love" garbage. New lust is more like it. I give Jen and John's "new love" three months top, if that.
The top cover teaser, "Star's divorce shocker"? Probably something about Al liking threesomes.
Despite reports of nuptials?, I say the big coy signifies something entirely different than the games celebs play. Already, these rumors are being shot down. Mariah and Nick are not Jay-Z and B, nor J.Lo and Mr. J.Lo, they're not even Brangelina (I hear she's nesting in France, preparing for the big birth). Just last week, I read a piece about Carey's desire to remain solo, now suddenly everyone is whispering about an "engagement/marriage?" to Nick Cannon.
To hot meat 12 years her junior? Get real. Nick's looking like a sick puppy dog. Trying to "buy" affection with bling is as old as Helen of Troy. Besides, it's second hand bling. Carey standing around flashing her pink hunka ice all giddy and coy, lapping up the attention for all it's worth is making everyone nuts.
Restoring sanity: Mimi is just banking the publicity for a rainy day, like a scrapbook to cherish if she ever lands back on the skids.
Rotund looking ill-dressed Eva Mendes may be with child. Just look at that bulge. Maybe she'll read this and do a cartwheel to confirm.
I adore this blog, but their intern's blind item is so sightless, it begs to be flamed. Geez, just look at your own side by side comparison pix showing Eva on an exercise jog with her trainer (cropped to ensure focus). In one photo, yeah, there's some puff, while in the other, nary a bump to be had. So, maybe Mendes had a little too much to drink the night before, or she's dealing with some bad PMS. Juicy dirt this is not.
Obviously, the intern has no first-hand knowledge of pregnancy, otherwise she'd realize the dead giveaway isn't the middle part of the torso. It's the top. As in "perky swell like crazy."
Might I recommend a crash course in baby bump spotting with the jokers over at FlyNet? Nice scoop catching Jessica Simpson BFF, Cacee Cobb, while out and about in el Lay. No doubt to prevent a lawsuit, these two wild and crazy guys wonder aloud whether she might actually be with child. Someone must have tipped them off. So much better than a blind item.
Indeed, gentlemen, this one looks so preggers it hurts to blog. Odds are 2 to 1 and I'm not even a gambler..
So, for what it's worth, there you have my pitiful assessment of the celebrity gossipsphere. Give me Mary Hart officiating at a wedding staged with the Made of Honor premiere any day. Is this even legal? Oh, the joys of trend spotting. The next big thing in people who want to marry but can't afford to hire their own band. Just remember. You heard it here first.
Update: Apparently, in the span of about two hours, Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon went from flirting, to dating, to being engaged, to reportedly getting hitched, supposedly without a prenup. At least not the last time I checked. This story changes facts faster than SJP changes wardrobe in SATC: The Movie. Congratulations to the happy (giving this one year, tops) couple.
And just for the record, why no pc fire storm when Mrs. Cannon describes her new hubby as "articulate and literate?"
Having a Pity Party with Rosie O'Donnell
It's New Year's Day and this blogger is supposed to be at a party. For a very close friend. Why she is here blogging her little heart out is anyone's guess. Devotion to faithful readers? Misguided feelings of self worth? Unable to look away from the Internet? Work ethic?
Perhaps a little of all of the above?
I happened upon a Rosie O'Donnell video this morning and decided it would make a good short. Unfortunately, this will be very short because I am in fact very late for my friend's party. If my friend ever reads this --- and she probably won't (hardly any of my community friends read this blog) --- I am so sorry. Truly. But with all your other gobs of friends, I'm sure you haven't even noticed I'm missing. Love you, lady!
Back to Rosie. Sweetheart, darling, get over it. You're annoying. So what? Lots of people are annoying. I, myself am annoying. My kids tell me that all the time. There's no shame in being annoying. Embrace your "annoyingness." Become one with the obnoxious. Revel in it. Because it is who you are, Rosie. And if it's not who you want to be, make concerted efforts to change. You can change, Rosie. It is within your power if that's truly what you want to do.
Besides, being annoying is not Rosie O'Donnell's real problem. People who are fans of Rosie expect her to be annoying, obnoxious, over-bearing, and outspoken. It's what they love about her. No, Rosie has another more serious problem. If she ever wants to land back on top, this is the problem she needs to overcome.
First, a disclaimer. I'm not Dr. Phil, nor do I claim to have psychic powers or real insight into what makes Rosie tick. Pshaw. I loved her in that baseball movie, you know, the one with Tom Hanks and Madonna, but I haven't been able to stomach her since. No, actually, I did catch her cruise special on HBO. Seeing all those alternative lifestyle families joining together on that big cruise ship gave me a lift of some sort. I can't really describe it, but I did enjoy it.
I'm rambling and need to get to the point quickly to go shower. Rosie O'Donnell is not my cup of tea. She doesn't have to be. Rosie doesn't need me to be her fan. She already has tons of fans, people who religiously read her blog, people who will support her projects no matter what. If the celebrity crowd and their devotees reject her, that will not be the end for Rosie.
Rosie O'Donnell needs to get over her need to be universally loved. She will never be univerally loved. And let's face it. No one is universally loved. Not even Oprah, rich and influential as she may be. Everyone has their critics and detractors. There's always someone who wants to take you down a notch. That's just the way life is.
Poor sad pathetic Rosie. I wish I could reach out to her in cyberspace and slap a big squooshy hug around those big broad shoulders. But that would be overkill, wouldn't it? And I'm very late for my party.
Perhaps a little of all of the above?
I happened upon a Rosie O'Donnell video this morning and decided it would make a good short. Unfortunately, this will be very short because I am in fact very late for my friend's party. If my friend ever reads this --- and she probably won't (hardly any of my community friends read this blog) --- I am so sorry. Truly. But with all your other gobs of friends, I'm sure you haven't even noticed I'm missing. Love you, lady!
Back to Rosie. Sweetheart, darling, get over it. You're annoying. So what? Lots of people are annoying. I, myself am annoying. My kids tell me that all the time. There's no shame in being annoying. Embrace your "annoyingness." Become one with the obnoxious. Revel in it. Because it is who you are, Rosie. And if it's not who you want to be, make concerted efforts to change. You can change, Rosie. It is within your power if that's truly what you want to do.
Besides, being annoying is not Rosie O'Donnell's real problem. People who are fans of Rosie expect her to be annoying, obnoxious, over-bearing, and outspoken. It's what they love about her. No, Rosie has another more serious problem. If she ever wants to land back on top, this is the problem she needs to overcome.
First, a disclaimer. I'm not Dr. Phil, nor do I claim to have psychic powers or real insight into what makes Rosie tick. Pshaw. I loved her in that baseball movie, you know, the one with Tom Hanks and Madonna, but I haven't been able to stomach her since. No, actually, I did catch her cruise special on HBO. Seeing all those alternative lifestyle families joining together on that big cruise ship gave me a lift of some sort. I can't really describe it, but I did enjoy it.
I'm rambling and need to get to the point quickly to go shower. Rosie O'Donnell is not my cup of tea. She doesn't have to be. Rosie doesn't need me to be her fan. She already has tons of fans, people who religiously read her blog, people who will support her projects no matter what. If the celebrity crowd and their devotees reject her, that will not be the end for Rosie.
Rosie O'Donnell needs to get over her need to be universally loved. She will never be univerally loved. And let's face it. No one is universally loved. Not even Oprah, rich and influential as she may be. Everyone has their critics and detractors. There's always someone who wants to take you down a notch. That's just the way life is.
Poor sad pathetic Rosie. I wish I could reach out to her in cyberspace and slap a big squooshy hug around those big broad shoulders. But that would be overkill, wouldn't it? And I'm very late for my party.
Nobody Cares on October 23, 2007
I can't get my work done, my kid had an operation, the rented video is busted, and the downstairs toilet is not only stuffed up, but the flushing handle doesn't work.
Nobody cares.
Likewise, nobody cares about these culled tidbits from around the blogosphere:
1. J.Lo is preggers. Duh. Do we really need an announcement [ more...]?
2. After transmorgifying her image from this to this, we all know Tara Reid is just a washed up has been in bimbo's clothing. Everybody knows they're fake, dahling. Why bother with surgery when you have such a pretty face[ more...]?
3. Speaking of face, Britney changed some features of her own face the other day, then covered up to avoid the ever present paparazzi. Don't worry, Britney's mom, this too shall pass. [more...].
4. Eddie Izzard and Keifer Sutherland. Separated at birth? You be the judge [ more...].
5. Kim Kardashian continues to hang out in all the right places. After all, it was the woman's birthday. But why the body obsession? The more I read and see about Kim's tush and tiddies, the more I want to hurl. [ more...].
Well that's a wrap. And nobody cares.
Nobody cares.
Likewise, nobody cares about these culled tidbits from around the blogosphere:
1. J.Lo is preggers. Duh. Do we really need an announcement [ more...]?
2. After transmorgifying her image from this to this, we all know Tara Reid is just a washed up has been in bimbo's clothing. Everybody knows they're fake, dahling. Why bother with surgery when you have such a pretty face[ more...]?
3. Speaking of face, Britney changed some features of her own face the other day, then covered up to avoid the ever present paparazzi. Don't worry, Britney's mom, this too shall pass. [more...].
4. Eddie Izzard and Keifer Sutherland. Separated at birth? You be the judge [ more...].
5. Kim Kardashian continues to hang out in all the right places. After all, it was the woman's birthday. But why the body obsession? The more I read and see about Kim's tush and tiddies, the more I want to hurl. [ more...].
Well that's a wrap. And nobody cares.
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